"Unable" to relax? Kinda long

"I am constantly looking for something else 'to do' - even when I feel overwhelmed by always having something to do - did that make sense?"  BINGO, Kathy!  I can be whining and complaining about "everything" I "NEED" to get done...get some or all of it done...and am already starting to look for other things to do!

My social calendar is what I think is throwing me for a loop right now....including just being "social" with Brian.  The other day, for example, when I had off we ended up going to Dorney.  I'd like to say it will slow down in the winter when it's not as nice for me to be outside...but I'm already planning a long weekend down in cape may for their holiday house tour, LOL  I've never gone out as much as I have before and I think it's confusing me!  And then I get myself caught in a catch 22...I want to go out and do things with people because it's FUN...but then I worry I'm not spending enough time at home and doing things with hubby...so I plan things with him....and then I worry that I'm doing to much...oy vey.   Talk about not making any sense!

Thanks!

One thing I will note about your social calendar is that you're in the same boat as a good friend of mine who also has a very stressful job - her husband is a stay-at-home husband - they have no children - he's been keeping busy renovating their house, BUT he has no contact with the outside world all day long - so when she gets home at night he wants to go-go-go. And every weekend he makes plans for them either to have people up (they have a lovely pool and huge yard) and he loves to entertain, but I know she's whipped by the time she gets home and would really just like some time to relax, but then she feels bad because he's home all day by himself, so she goes along with going out or keeping really busy - unfortunately for her its making her heavier, not thinner, because most of their social events involve eating and drinking. She and I used to get together about every other month just for a girls day but we haven't had one since he quit working.

I'll never let my poor husband retire - he can entertain himself being home a couple of days a week but if he was home all day, every day I know he would be the same way!! LOL!!

Funny thing - Brian does almost NONE of the planning.  he's happy to have people over, or to go over to people's houses...but he won't take the initiative for that....but does have a good time when we do things and does say he enjoys spending time together doing things with me....but I can see the VERY similar patterns here.  Hmmmm maybe we should send all three of our guys to an unknown location and then the three of us enjoy our separate quiet houses "alone but together" LOL

several schools of thought on this...yes, you are filling in time you used to use eating, yes, it's a transfer addiction, you transferred into an active social life and you are taking it to the max!   Look at all the goals and achievements you've had since your surgery...the job move, the house move, the second job, starting on a baby plan, Brian's issues...I can't sit still either and when I do, I graze.  Guess it just depends on whether or not you like it this way?   I can't "veg out" as Norm says; it brings on a panic attack, I'm not kidding.  I am always going someplace, doing something, taking on or dealing with obligations.   Heck, hubby and I even food shop on a nearly daily basis just to go somewhere.  We love our house so I don't know why we are constantly running.  For me, I definately saw a huge jump in this behavior when I found out I couldn't have kids; prior to that I was running like a loon to all kinds of doctors for fertility treatments, I had a plan.  I made it to near goal in record time in anticipation of getting the body in shape for pregnancy.   Now I don't know what to do with the next 20 years I thought would be for child-rearing. 

My best friend of 30 years summed me up; she said I have to have a project or I'm not happy and I lost my project.  I think she's right; I excel at doing for others as opposed to doing for me.   I found that to be true even with my surgery...I loved seeing the sizes go down but the closer I got to goal the worse it was for me but I kept plugging away knowing I was getting in better shape for a certain reason.     I don't see the end as a happy moment, I see it as a moment to start stressing.   Thanks, Pam.  I think I should send you $75 for the "analysis" I just had on myself due to your thought-provoking post.....   Off to the looney bin now....

I think you summed it up correctly when you said that nobody really knows the answer to your questions but you.  I have a very similar schedule - full time work - full time in grad school - teaching exercise classes two days per week - spending time with family and friends - volunteer work ....

For me, I have always done everything in excess (especially eating) and I think/worry/overanalyze that I am just filling the void with activities now that I used to fil with food.  Who knows, I don't have time to think about it  ;)

Seriously, look inside yourself, examine your feelings about your schedule and be sure you are being kind to yourself, taking care of yourself...   Dont overextend  yourself, but dont underestimate you newly found energy level either. 
Lou
P.S. I hate sitting home all day and when I do I want to eat