Feelings

Has anyone (since WLS) sat and pondered the question Would I be the person I am today If at one time In my life I wasn't fat.  I don't know if I would have the friends I have today because of who I was 9 months ago.  I have always put friends and family first and never put myself first until the day I decided to have surgery. 

I could be a complete B!!ch. ( Well Sometimes that is a woman thing). But I introduced a frend of mine to a person that had surgery and she keeps asking me is this guy for real and made me think of why he is so nice and kind.  I actually met him last year at the OH convention in Conshohocken,PA.  I told her it's because for so long you live behing a fat wall, your own prison, and you try to minipilate the world into loving you and not seeing the peron that you know everyone sees and judges you for on the outside. 

I am happy I am thinner now, but I am happy I am me.  I don't think I would want to know a different side of me...

Ok thanks for reading

I hate to say this but I think I have become considered a bigger B!!ch since I have lost the weight.  I am more outspoken and less tolerant of other people's crap! And I have met some great people on my journey also which I will be forever grateful for. So no I would not have been the person I am today if I didn't have the surgery.  People do treat you differently when you are overweight and are very unkind.

No, I don't think if we weren't who we were before surgery that we would be who we are now.  People who have never been overweight and been embarassed about it, have no idea how hard it is to feel accepted.  Notice I said "feel" accepted, because all of us have our pre-surgery friends who know have accepted us fat or otherwise.  Tell your friend to go for it with that guy.  He'll probably make her very happy and not take her for granted. 

I had a lot of childhood trauma, yet was thin till I was  an adult.  Yet, I used food like a drug, on top of alcohol and other things, to cope with all the negative feelings I had all throughout life.  I once bemoaned the stuff I went through as a kid, because of the pain and mental health issues it contributed to.  My therapist pointed out to me that I would not have the empathy I have for people, and been driven to pursue a career in mental health if not for those issues.  I also would not be in a 12 step recovery program, and I have done 17 years of OA in addition to my AA recovery, and have the relationship I have with God if not for having been down this road.  My recovery from the food and alcohol is totally dependent on my relationship with God.  

Trish

It certainly has changed me for the better, I think, today I have more confidence and self-esteem than at any other time in my life.  I know when I was a bigger person, I subconsciously, although some was conscious, felt embarrassed and less then because of my size.  But there are still days when I don't really believe this is me and that I will wake up to find it's all a dream. . .

I don't have any more self esteem than I did before surgery. Self confidence wise, I actually think I am worse off.

But I physically feel better. And I feel better about the fact that I can play with my kiddos more, and do certain things that I couldn't before.

Losing weight hasn't made me "feel" any different in my head about myself. But I find I am more tolerant of people i general. I have more patience for peoples situations and actions. I don't know if that has changed because I am older, or because of my profeesion I am in, or the surgery.

But I am glad I have a happier mentality about people in general because I used to always think people were out to get something and not genuine. Now, I truly see deeper in most people and try to understand where they are coming from rather than assume where they are coming from.

Does that make any sense? It does to me.