am i wrong?
Kathleen,
You've probably not heard my 'alcoholic' speach.....so in a nutshell I GUILT PEOPLE that put me in that position by explaining that making those foods is like inviting a recovering alcoholic to a party while knowingly flaunting drinks uner their nose.
People 'understand' alcoholism and recovering alcoholics....they think 'cake - it's just cake. Sugar, it's just sugar' BUT, the issue is, for people like YOU and ME.... it's the ADDICTION that we're trying/working to kick.
SO.... god bless Moms... but try to explain to her that by her making a sugar containing cake, let alone your favorite one (at this early out in your new lifestyle) is like drinking in front of a 9 week out recovering alcoholic. Most people would *not* drink in front of a 9 week out recovering alcoholic....
MAYBE NEXT YEAR the temptation will not be as strong.
but this year...make a statement...PISS OFF THE FAMILY.... and boycot the bday due to the 'psycoligical damage' it'll cause you (i'm stretching a bit but I'm also in a pissed off mood today).
IT'S YOUR PARTY, RIGHT?!?!? Just like my wedding, I(read: my wife) CALLED THE SHOTS not my friends, not my/our family... if your Mom want's a chocolate cake for the kids, make it for their birthdays or her birthday. :)
That's that (and remind her you love her),
-GD_007
You've probably not heard my 'alcoholic' speach.....so in a nutshell I GUILT PEOPLE that put me in that position by explaining that making those foods is like inviting a recovering alcoholic to a party while knowingly flaunting drinks uner their nose.
People 'understand' alcoholism and recovering alcoholics....they think 'cake - it's just cake. Sugar, it's just sugar' BUT, the issue is, for people like YOU and ME.... it's the ADDICTION that we're trying/working to kick.
SO.... god bless Moms... but try to explain to her that by her making a sugar containing cake, let alone your favorite one (at this early out in your new lifestyle) is like drinking in front of a 9 week out recovering alcoholic. Most people would *not* drink in front of a 9 week out recovering alcoholic....
MAYBE NEXT YEAR the temptation will not be as strong.
but this year...make a statement...PISS OFF THE FAMILY.... and boycot the bday due to the 'psycoligical damage' it'll cause you (i'm stretching a bit but I'm also in a pissed off mood today).
IT'S YOUR PARTY, RIGHT?!?!? Just like my wedding, I(read: my wife) CALLED THE SHOTS not my friends, not my/our family... if your Mom want's a chocolate cake for the kids, make it for their birthdays or her birthday. :)
That's that (and remind her you love her),
-GD_007
Kathleen,
I totally understand how you feel---and no, you're not wrong. Just before and after my surgery, my mom kept talking about all these wonderful foods she had. I kept reminding her to stop because I couldn't have any of it. My birthday was just 3 weeks postop, and I wanted to postpone any celebration till I can have regular food and maybe some sort of SF dessert. But she wanted to do it last weekend, so I went. She had stuffed chicken breasts and took the stuffing out of one before baking it so I could puree it. I was fine during dinner. Then she pulled out a cake. Fortunately it wasn't a birthday cake; it was something she had made and was already cut. I think it was peanut butter cake, which is one of my favorites. I told her I was fine with it; after all everyone else needs to eat. But it did disturb me that she had it there. I had a SF popsicle and tried not to look at the cake as everyone else was eating it.
I think our mothers are well-intentioned, but don't really understand what we're going through at this point. F the cake, have your pie!! It's your birthday---you celebrate in the way that makes you happy!!!
I totally understand how you feel---and no, you're not wrong. Just before and after my surgery, my mom kept talking about all these wonderful foods she had. I kept reminding her to stop because I couldn't have any of it. My birthday was just 3 weeks postop, and I wanted to postpone any celebration till I can have regular food and maybe some sort of SF dessert. But she wanted to do it last weekend, so I went. She had stuffed chicken breasts and took the stuffing out of one before baking it so I could puree it. I was fine during dinner. Then she pulled out a cake. Fortunately it wasn't a birthday cake; it was something she had made and was already cut. I think it was peanut butter cake, which is one of my favorites. I told her I was fine with it; after all everyone else needs to eat. But it did disturb me that she had it there. I had a SF popsicle and tried not to look at the cake as everyone else was eating it.
I think our mothers are well-intentioned, but don't really understand what we're going through at this point. F the cake, have your pie!! It's your birthday---you celebrate in the way that makes you happy!!!
First of all I want to say happy bday. and second of all if I read this right you did get the pie? I can see why you got upset I totally agree with that it was inconsiderate and I for one am proud that you didn't touch the chocolate cake but remember the old saying you can control and change yourself and not others. So happy bday and many more and I can see where you are coming from. As far as your Mom....I probably would have said to her "Mom it was my bday, my day" and move on you let her know how you felt and hopefully she won't do it next year. Then if she does I would be ticked off because I let her know how I felt prior to it. I always say pick your battles. And yes it was unsupportive and inconsiderate.
My MIL pulled the same crap with me on my birthday this past sunday... she fixed stuff that either I hate or can't really stomach now... Jeremy was pretty pissed... so I came home and grilled some steak and made me a peanut butter pie from Liz's cooking class the day before... She isn't going to to change but I'm not going to let her mess me up...
But your mom should of respected your wishes for the dessert... you suggested the pie and that should of been enough... talk to your mom and just ask her truthfully why did she really bake that cake because using the kids is a poor reason...
R K.
on 7/16/09 11:27 am
on 7/16/09 11:27 am
I`ll likely get flamed but IMHO I think you over reacted. You might as well get used to it. You changed and you`ll have to face being around that stuff. Those family get together will happen and other people shouldn`t have to give up their stuff because you can`t have it. I just figure nobody needs to go out of their way for me because I have some special needs now. I make it my business to find a way to fit in or I bring my own supplies with me. no big deal.
Enjoy the pie while they eat the cake.
This is a serious question. Do some peoples hormones go wacky after surgery? I see a lot of overly sensitive and almost bipolar people after surgery.
Enjoy the pie while they eat the cake.
This is a serious question. Do some peoples hormones go wacky after surgery? I see a lot of overly sensitive and almost bipolar people after surgery.
*
"If I only had three words of advice, they would be, Tell the Truth. If got three more words, I'd add, all the time."
— Randy Pausch
"If I only had three words of advice, they would be, Tell the Truth. If got three more words, I'd add, all the time."
— Randy Pausch
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