OT: My Dream Job

My son-in-law just called me and offered me the opportunity of a lifetime - the chance to do what I have always wanted to do, and I had to turn him down.

Marc is a General Contractor and was recently awarded a total house renovation for a non-traditional couple in Seattle (he and my daughter live in Issaquah, a suburb of Seattle). This job has grown by leaps and bounds for Marc, and I'm so happy for him - right now the total renovation is approaching $300,000. The partner in the couple who is making all of the design and decorating decisions has already fired 2 decorators because they didn't get along, so my son-in-law offered to fly me out to assist in the decision-making with this man because it is taking up so much of Marc's time.

Decorating has always been my passion - I have loved it since I was a child. My favorite toy was a big metal dollhouse that had plastic furniture in various colors and I would spend hours just re-arranging and setting up rooms, cutting out curtains and rugs from scraps my mom gave me, and imaging living in a house like that some day. That passion has never left but I have never pursued schooling or a career in that because I got caught up in the secretarial world upon graduating high school and I've made a good living at it, but now I'm 'stuck' in that world due to benefits, salary, etc.

Marc offered to fly me out for a week or two just to work with this man and help him make some decisions, give him some guidance and help him find the items he's looking for - I've done a few things already via phone and e-mail for Marc and my daughter (this is not my daughter's 'thing') so she has turned to me for help and I've been able to find what they're looking for.

But leaving here now for even a week isn't possible - my mom is in the middle of her chemo treatments and it wouldn't be fair to ask my husband to stay and deal with all that - it affects her memory, personality and everything else and it can really try your patience in dealing with her, so I wouldn't put that on him.

Anyway, I guess there's really no point to this whole e-mail other than to whine a little about missing a fantastic opportunity that could possibly give me a life-changing career - but I did offer to help Marc as much as I can from here and hey, maybe I'll go on line this afternoon and see what kind of courses I can take in interior design and decorating.

Thanks for listening...

Wow.........sounds fun and cool.

But reality trumps fun and cool everytime. I am living proof of that.

Definately check out some classes though, you never know!

WOW!! well can you compromise? can you go out for a few days or a long weekend to help out and see thinngs then do the rest from home? That way you don't leave mom and hubby for too long but can help out SIL??

Sometimes making the right decision sucks!

You know the funny thing is if I tell my husband about it he'll tell me to get on the next plane out - and I was just in a small meeting with my boss and another woman in the office and told her about it and she said the same thing - GO!  If life were only that easy...

That is a really cool opportunity. I'm sorry you had to pass on it.

If you are interested in taking classes, I do know if a great correspondence course that you can check out on-line. http://www.sheffield.edu/

It's associated with the photography course that I take and I love the way they have it set up.

Hope it helps.

At least 15 years ago I bought the Sheffield home study course for interior design and I know I still have that stuff somewhere - I got about 1/2 thru the course and then life happened and I never did fini**** If its all on line now tho I might be able to pull it off. Thanks so much for that info - I'll be checking it out!! I'll have to tell my daughter about the photography course, too - she loves photography and is actually very good at it but like me could use some professional training.

So... if everyone around you says "GO" (and I have to believe your Mom would be saying the same thing), then why must you say "no"?  

It's for a defined timeframe, which makes it manageable.  Yes, the timing sucks for your mom's chemo, but if this is truly a life-changing opportunity for you, then you and your support system can make it work.  For example - are visiting nurses and/or home health aids a possibility?  How about "adult day care" one or two days a week so hubby gets a break from care?  Is there a possibility of you breaking it up into two trips with a few days home in between?

I guess I'm coming from the perspective that because of my weight and other emotional baggage, my first impulse is to be "self sacrificing" for my family.  And that's not always the right thing to do, for me OR for them.  I'm trying to learn for myself to find ways to say YES instead of looking for excuses to say no to things that I really wan to do.  It's part of my recovery process... and what you said really touched that for me.  

If this is truly something that you have always wanted to do, and it's an ideal opportunity except for issues that are eminently SOLVABLE, and you would have the support of your family and friends, then go for it!   Life's too short to pass up joy!

Karen

I hear you, Karen - you make a lot of sense, but sadly hubby and mom did not see it that way. Both said 'gee, the timing is just so bad, but maybe something else will come along later'. I can live with that - the cost of airfare out there is ridiculous - I know because this morning I'm buying 3 tickets for my daughter and 2 of my granddaughters to fly back - its their birthday presents (eek).

Well, at least you discussed it with them.  And you never know - opportunity CAN knock more than once.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

k.

omg I would love to do something like that... but you never know what can happen... I would pray on it... because you just never know...