Stomped Flower Garden - Not WLS Related
I would like to get an opinion on this if anyone is willing to give one.
I had planted a small flower garden from seeds in early spring and I felt like this garden was kind of like my new beginning in life. (My surgery was Jan. 2) The flowers were doing beautiful and getting ready to bloom. This was very special to me, because in the past 10 years I really was not able to get out and garden, because of my weight and health problems.
Anyway, today, the little boy from across the road came over to play with my son, and apparently decided to jump on my flowers and stomped them all down. I found out about it about 5 minutes after it happened. My son said he was standing there with my daughter and my son saw him doing it, just said, "oh no mama's flowers;" then the other little boy, about 7 years old ran back home.
When I saw my flowers from the window I ran outside and no one was around, and as you can imagine I was upset and started yelling for the kids and yelling who did this and why?? I went back in the house and questioned and found out the situation from them. My husband had told them they needed to come tell me what happened.
I don't know what to do now. I don't want to anger my neighbor by doing the wrong thing, but I am sure they heard me yelling when I saw what happened. My husband is angry about what happened, but he is not the emotional type to say anything about it.
Any advice? Thanks.
I had planted a small flower garden from seeds in early spring and I felt like this garden was kind of like my new beginning in life. (My surgery was Jan. 2) The flowers were doing beautiful and getting ready to bloom. This was very special to me, because in the past 10 years I really was not able to get out and garden, because of my weight and health problems.
Anyway, today, the little boy from across the road came over to play with my son, and apparently decided to jump on my flowers and stomped them all down. I found out about it about 5 minutes after it happened. My son said he was standing there with my daughter and my son saw him doing it, just said, "oh no mama's flowers;" then the other little boy, about 7 years old ran back home.
When I saw my flowers from the window I ran outside and no one was around, and as you can imagine I was upset and started yelling for the kids and yelling who did this and why?? I went back in the house and questioned and found out the situation from them. My husband had told them they needed to come tell me what happened.
I don't know what to do now. I don't want to anger my neighbor by doing the wrong thing, but I am sure they heard me yelling when I saw what happened. My husband is angry about what happened, but he is not the emotional type to say anything about it.
Any advice? Thanks.
I dunno... because that garden meant so much to you, I'd have to say something to the parents. Perhaps explain that the garden had a lot of personal meaning to you as therapy and that its destruction was much more than the loss of a few plants.
Handled constructively, this could be a good life-lesson for the little boy in respecting others' property and the beauty of a flower... "reparation" could be some time that he spends helping you plant replacement plants... and also some time when he helps you care for those replacement plants (weeding, watering, dead-heading)? That way he feels a sense of pride in them and maybe prevents future plant-stomping exercises.
All that, of course, depends on the relationship that you have with his parents (and that he has with your son). if you think they are the type that will support your message and the need for their son to learn the lesson, then I'd say "go for it." If they're the "my son can do no wrong" type, on the other hand, I'd say to fuggedaboutit... in that case, it's not worth the potential bad relations with neighbors.
Just some thoughts... hope they help. I know how painful something like that can be!
Karen
Handled constructively, this could be a good life-lesson for the little boy in respecting others' property and the beauty of a flower... "reparation" could be some time that he spends helping you plant replacement plants... and also some time when he helps you care for those replacement plants (weeding, watering, dead-heading)? That way he feels a sense of pride in them and maybe prevents future plant-stomping exercises.
All that, of course, depends on the relationship that you have with his parents (and that he has with your son). if you think they are the type that will support your message and the need for their son to learn the lesson, then I'd say "go for it." If they're the "my son can do no wrong" type, on the other hand, I'd say to fuggedaboutit... in that case, it's not worth the potential bad relations with neighbors.
Just some thoughts... hope they help. I know how painful something like that can be!
Karen
I agree with Kathy. If you have a decent relationship with the parents and they seem to be the "responsible" type of parent who value teaching their children right from wrong (sadly enough I see way to many parents these days, who, in my humble opinion, believe their children are owed everything and their kids don't have to play by the rules) you need to talk to them. And you also need to confront the child with his parents permission.
I also think that the parents (assuming you can talk to them and assuming they are reasonable) should INSIST about the child helping you. Now, in reality...he's 7 so probably a whole lot of work wouldn't be accomplished like YOU would do and it certainly won't be up to the quality you did. However, it would be the point of the matter. I would think that 1/2 hour initially would be the way to start.
But, if the parents don't have general reprocussions for their child and they don't enforce any consequences for actions...then all of that would be mute anyway.
Keep in mind....this is all coming from someone without kids of her own.....so I could be TOTALLY off base and looking at the world through rose colored glasses.
Pam
I also think that the parents (assuming you can talk to them and assuming they are reasonable) should INSIST about the child helping you. Now, in reality...he's 7 so probably a whole lot of work wouldn't be accomplished like YOU would do and it certainly won't be up to the quality you did. However, it would be the point of the matter. I would think that 1/2 hour initially would be the way to start.
But, if the parents don't have general reprocussions for their child and they don't enforce any consequences for actions...then all of that would be mute anyway.
Keep in mind....this is all coming from someone without kids of her own.....so I could be TOTALLY off base and looking at the world through rose colored glasses.
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
Oh boy, that's awful. I'm sad for you. I love my flowers too and would be heart broken if that happened to me.
I would certanly say someting to the parents after I cooled down. The suggestion to have the boy help you replant is a good one.
Hope you can let it go and recapture some joy when you replant.
T
I would certanly say someting to the parents after I cooled down. The suggestion to have the boy help you replant is a good one.
Hope you can let it go and recapture some joy when you replant.
T
Teresa O
RNY 4/1/2008
PA
Definitely discuss the problem with the boy's parents. If you calmly explain the value of the garden, and how devastated you are that it was destroyed, you may be surprised, unless they are jerks. Use "I" statements, in terms of "I planted a garden to celebrate the positive changes in my life...I learned that your son jumped all over my plants destroying them...I am upset because of the destruction of my property." Ask if the boy can make restitution by helping you plant new plants, so that he can learn taking responsibility for his behavior and mistakes. Use the opportunity for both your son and this boy to learn responsibility, as well as forgiveness.
If the parents are jerks, then I suggest you keep your son away from this boy, as it could only mean trouble in the future.
Good luck.
Trish
If the parents are jerks, then I suggest you keep your son away from this boy, as it could only mean trouble in the future.
Good luck.
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Aww I would be upset too! LOVE my flowers! Like the other ladies said, depending on your relationship with the parents I would say something.
Just wondering if you had already resolved this?
I would have to go out and buy myself some new flowers and would probably put something around them like a little fence to make it blatently obvious that they were special. Because I have a ***** streak I may also hang a sign on the fence saying KEEP OUT.
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