Enlisting allies - fighting the good fight

So I realized that this weekend my daughter Katie was a powerful ally for me, in the face of temptation.  While we were in Boston, our room literally overlooked a California Pizza Kitchen and a Cheesecake Factory.  Yikes.  Luckily, it also overlooked a Shaw's supermarket... haha.

Cheesecake, however, is one of my just downright favorite foods.  Same with Katie.  I was willing to stay away from it but she HAD to have a slice.  She was very considerate of me and we discussed it in advance - she even offered to get hers during the day while I was at the conference.  After much thought and deliberation, we decided to go together anyway, and to get her slice to go.  I went on their website and found that they actually have a lo-carb, sweetened with splenda cheesecake, figured out where I was for the day, and decided to have some. 

When we got everything back to our room, I enlisted her assistance.  I cut off 1/3 of my slice, which is what I allowed myself.  I then had her take the rest of it down the hall to an unknown trashcan and throw it away so I wouldn't be tempted.

I know that sounds like a lot of work, but it worked for me.  I was able to really enjoy the piece I had without guilt and without the temptation of "one more bite" staring at me.  She didn't feel at all guilty for eating her slice (was 2 days worth, though!).  And that was more than enough for me to satisfy the craving and I didn't feel the urge to go back and get another piece the next day.  

My lesson learned from this is to enlist the help of those around me to reduce and manage my environment.  It's not weakness to admit that I need this help... instead it's the strength to be able to articulate it and to ask for the help.  That's a HUGE step for me, as I'm always the "i can do it by myself" kinda gal.  But it felt good!

Just an insight I wanted to share.  Thanks for listening.

Karen

COngrats - you made a fantastic realization, one that I fight myself on just about every single day.

So glad that Katie was there for you and remember that we are all too!! I had been talking to someone at the last Pilgrimage and we agreed that sometimes we can borrow things from other types of support - what came to mind was an AA sponsor - someone you can call 24/7 to "talk you down" or "pick you up" We are here no matter what!

Liz

Liz,

Yes, I agree that the "sponsor" approach is one that's can be tremendously helpful.  As with AA, OA and the other "A"s, the key is that the sponsor is someone who has already walked the path and can speak from personal experience.  I think that is something that longterm recovery really needs...for people like me who are food addicts, at least.  It's something that has always been missing in my prior attempts to lose weight, and something that I'm really treasuring in this community. 

Karen

well done Karen.. glad you were able to enjoy the taste of the cheesecake without guilt or going overboard.  There's always a way.. Shauna says it best, deprivation ended the day we had our surgery!

Karen, great job!!!  I can totally relate.  I LOVE cheesecake, but loving yourself must taste so much better!!!  Way to go!!

Karen--Fabulous insight! You really do post some awesome ideas and resources.  I love the idea of enlisting those around us as allies as I have done with my hubby--he is by far my biggest supporter and best friend in the journey.  Your daughter sounds like a wonderful person and a great support too!!  Way to go!! Keep on successing!!!

Much luv!!
Laura

Karen - congrats on winning this round !  Allies are important in any sort of fight and yours came through for you !
Lisa

This is a wonderful post.  I hope lots of our peeps read it.  For being a newbie, you have certainly taught me me a thing or two.  Like you, I would have cut the piece and eaten a smaller piece.  But, I would have saved the other piece for another time.  Throwing it away makes good sense.  I will remember that tip for the future.  Like another poster said, your posts are very insightful and while I may not reply often, I do read and enjoy them.

Thank you all for your encouragement.  Having been raised to "finish what's on your plate" (and there was always too much on there, and it was all 'meat and potatoes' and 'mac and cheese' kinds of things), the concept of throwing away perfectly good food (or not taking a doggie bag from a restaurant if i couldn't finish their ridiculous portions) is something I really struggle with.  I like the option of ordering from the children's menu (or senior menu), but as someone said in another thread, the healthier (and tastier) options just aren't usually there.

Ah well.

The fight goes on.  Let's keep supporting each other, helping each other, and successing together.

Karen

You are doing great Karen!   I remember from my beginning journey that throwing things out was really, really hard.  I was raised like you, not to "waste" food.  Instead it went to my waist!   Along with throwing things out I made a habit of thinking first whether I needed it or not to begin with.  That saved me $$ as this journey isn't cheap.  I also learned to drive "past" not "through" fast food restaurants and that NOT drinking with your meal is probably one of the most important habits you should practice if you don't want to stretch your pouch too soon.   Keep up the great work!