Flashback....

WOW....but a weird feeling one...

I had a doctors appointment today (new "girly" doctor now that I've moved)

So they walk me back to the room and right before I go in they say "Oh, step on this scale"

For the first time in 2 years I actually got a lump in my throat for about 1/2 a millisecond.  That old thought of "OMG...I dont' want them to know I weigh THAT much" went through my head.  But then I was like "wait...I'm not afraid of the scale anymore...I LIKE the scale!" and of course hopped on and saw the number I figured I was about.

Goes to show you...the mental work is NEVER done.  Here I am 1 1/2 years out and out of NO WHERE I dreaded getting on the scale.

Bizarre!

Awesome! At the hospital this morning the anestesiologist asked how much I weigh (not sure why they don't just weigh you since it is kind of important - but anyway) and I almost said 327 - Then I was like wait a second - I''m only 188!

Liz

PS - something great happened today - TAX REFUND was in the checking! woohoo deck here we come!

Yea, I don't get it, either.  We weigh kids at work, but not adults...bizarre considering we give important weight based drugs to adults ALL the time.....and really....how many people lie about their weight?  A LOT

Pam,
Totally normal I went thru that last week when I went to see my primary. Their scale showed me at 135 and I jumped off and told the nurse. YOUR SCALE IS SO WRONG. Luckily the Nurse agreed with me and told me their scale is off by 5lbs but gave me a look like this one

Loved your post Pam isn't that the truth?! I used to close my eyes when I heard the scale beep and open them one at a time. Great talent having your eyes trained like that and I still see myself as the woman who started this journey 11 months ago.  My mind still hasn't caught up to my body.

For the last 2.5 years when asked what I weigh I have said ... "4 ah, 3 ah, 2 ah, wait a minute 1.  They look at me like I'm crazy.  But my crazy mind has been playing this trick on me a while.  Now without hesitation I say 160-170 ish.

even though I am just starting out, the scale is not a negative place.
I am sure I will want to throw it out the window once and a while, but
it's going to show the progress of a very courageous decision....

Excellent insite.

Once I made the decison to have surgery I felt the same way.  But before I had made my WLS decision, I absolutely did not want anyone to know how much I weighed.  Not even the hubby.

I remember 2 summers ago I was on vacation at the shore with my family... I got a bit antsy and decided to find a mall to wander around.  I got to the Hamilton Mall and as I walked in looked ahead of me and thought ... "Oh good, they have a Lane Bryant"... It was so odd, I was 1 1/2 years out and had just had my plastics and still had that mindset that I was going to need a size 14 or bigger... that day I walked into Express and bought a size 8 pair of jeans.... Some things are so deeply rooted in us that it's easy to NOT forget them.  It takes time to undo thought processes we've had our whole lives.  Overcoming 25 years of anxiety about my weight isn't gonna just float away... all we can try to do is over write that fear and anxiety with the happy memories and the feel good thoughts.