Coming out of the fog..(long post)
Hi Everyone!
Every once in a while I peek my head out of the sand that I am in and touch base with you all. I need to be a more faithful PA poster!! For those of you who do not know me, I had surgery on April 5, 2007 - over 2 years ago. I am down almost 240 pounds from my highest weight. I was active on this board at that time and it is so wonderful to see that the same support continues to flourish here!!
Over the past months to a year, I think I have been coming out of a fog of emotions and my protective shelter. I embarked on this journey knowing life would change but to be truthful, I never imagined it would change this much. I had a very large amount of weight to lose and I had put myself into that dangerous situation of being super morbidly obese for a reason. Oh yes, I knew those reasons and I was ready (and very scared) to meet them head on.
Slowly over the past 2 years I have been dealing with those reasons and I keep learning more about myself and why I ate. I have been coming out of my fog. I am taking risks and opening up allowing people to see me without the shelter of the food or the fat. I am loving, liking and getting to know people as they are and allowing them to see me and who I am today. I am being myself and learning who that really is. I've solidified some absolute passions in my life which is God and some new ones which are coming up that I want to explore. I feel love and I want to love and help others!
On the physical aspect, lately, I have looked into the mirror and have not recognized my own face. I've been dealing with the emotions and the spiritual side of this journey that really, I forgot about this physical part. So now I look in the mirror and I am shocked by who is looking back at me. My face is not swollen and it is not sad. It is happy - content. But my clothes are big and not me. Well, maybe they are me and I just do not know it yet? This part of me I don't know. I am not that large woman who just takes what fits and wears it. I can have a pick of things I want to wear and how I want to look. I am just now trying to figure out how that should look. How can my outside match my inside? I have no idea but I am actually excited to learn!!
I am not really sure why I am posting other than to peek my head out into the PA forum and say hi, that I am still here and that I continue to learn from your posts even though I do not reply! My goal is also to go to more support meetings with you all!
I also wanted to take a moment (which I always like to do) to say to those who are lurking on the boards just thinking about this surgery. The fat that binds you serves a purpose. When you are ready.. IF you are ready to let that fat go and truly live, take the plunge and embark on the ride of your life - for the joy and sorrows of your life!!
-georgianne
Every once in a while I peek my head out of the sand that I am in and touch base with you all. I need to be a more faithful PA poster!! For those of you who do not know me, I had surgery on April 5, 2007 - over 2 years ago. I am down almost 240 pounds from my highest weight. I was active on this board at that time and it is so wonderful to see that the same support continues to flourish here!!
Over the past months to a year, I think I have been coming out of a fog of emotions and my protective shelter. I embarked on this journey knowing life would change but to be truthful, I never imagined it would change this much. I had a very large amount of weight to lose and I had put myself into that dangerous situation of being super morbidly obese for a reason. Oh yes, I knew those reasons and I was ready (and very scared) to meet them head on.
Slowly over the past 2 years I have been dealing with those reasons and I keep learning more about myself and why I ate. I have been coming out of my fog. I am taking risks and opening up allowing people to see me without the shelter of the food or the fat. I am loving, liking and getting to know people as they are and allowing them to see me and who I am today. I am being myself and learning who that really is. I've solidified some absolute passions in my life which is God and some new ones which are coming up that I want to explore. I feel love and I want to love and help others!
On the physical aspect, lately, I have looked into the mirror and have not recognized my own face. I've been dealing with the emotions and the spiritual side of this journey that really, I forgot about this physical part. So now I look in the mirror and I am shocked by who is looking back at me. My face is not swollen and it is not sad. It is happy - content. But my clothes are big and not me. Well, maybe they are me and I just do not know it yet? This part of me I don't know. I am not that large woman who just takes what fits and wears it. I can have a pick of things I want to wear and how I want to look. I am just now trying to figure out how that should look. How can my outside match my inside? I have no idea but I am actually excited to learn!!
I am not really sure why I am posting other than to peek my head out into the PA forum and say hi, that I am still here and that I continue to learn from your posts even though I do not reply! My goal is also to go to more support meetings with you all!
I also wanted to take a moment (which I always like to do) to say to those who are lurking on the boards just thinking about this surgery. The fat that binds you serves a purpose. When you are ready.. IF you are ready to let that fat go and truly live, take the plunge and embark on the ride of your life - for the joy and sorrows of your life!!
-georgianne
What you are, is God's gift to you. What you make of yourself, is your gift to God.
Hi Georgianne.. nice to meet you! Your post is very inspiring. I am almost 4 months post op and am starting to learn about my eating habits and am trying to train myself to write down my foods and be accountable for everything I do..food and non-food.
Thanks for sharing your story. It is important for us to know that the learning never stops, no matter how far out you are.
Congratulations on all your successes!
Thanks for sharing your story. It is important for us to know that the learning never stops, no matter how far out you are.
Congratulations on all your successes!
My tracker
hers 
That was amazing and beautiful!!! Thank you for popping in and sharing this insight with us!! You are quite the inspiration !!!
Laura
Laura
Laura
"Two roads diverged in a wood..and I took the one less travelled by and that has made all the difference." -Robert Frost
Over 176+ lbs lost since surgery!! :-)
See my profile for my OH Blog!!
Hi Georgianna,
So great to hear from u and know ur doing so well.. you're such an inspiration to me.. im 3 1/2 months out now.. an im just begining to deal with the fact that i dont see the real me in the mirror.. its good to know that eventually the old me will disapear and i will start to see the new me even if i dont recognize it... only way thats happening now is in pics.. im like thats not me... weird... im still larger then life.. but tons of changes in such a short time.. more overwhelming then i ever imagined.. but with ppl like u an others here on OH it gives me strength an hope to carry on.. i feel like im entering the fog of emotions an protective shelter u refer to... im trying hard not to bury my head in the sand... somedays are easier then others... i was so focused on making changes for a healthier life style that i forgot to deal with emotions an how much my body was going to change.. i think in some ways i didnt believe it was going to really work for me.. im still unsure now an then when the scale stalls or goes the wrong way.. anyhow.. i'll stop rambling... Thanks again for this wonderfuly inspiring post.. i needed it..
So great to hear from u and know ur doing so well.. you're such an inspiration to me.. im 3 1/2 months out now.. an im just begining to deal with the fact that i dont see the real me in the mirror.. its good to know that eventually the old me will disapear and i will start to see the new me even if i dont recognize it... only way thats happening now is in pics.. im like thats not me... weird... im still larger then life.. but tons of changes in such a short time.. more overwhelming then i ever imagined.. but with ppl like u an others here on OH it gives me strength an hope to carry on.. i feel like im entering the fog of emotions an protective shelter u refer to... im trying hard not to bury my head in the sand... somedays are easier then others... i was so focused on making changes for a healthier life style that i forgot to deal with emotions an how much my body was going to change.. i think in some ways i didnt believe it was going to really work for me.. im still unsure now an then when the scale stalls or goes the wrong way.. anyhow.. i'll stop rambling... Thanks again for this wonderfuly inspiring post.. i needed it..
Georgianne,
It is so good to see your smiling face and hear that you are doing so well. I know that you have had your struggles but it seems that you are overcoming them - CONGRATULATIONS!. I haven't been able to make it to the Phoenixville meetings lately, but hope to get back in July or August. Wednesdays have been very full for me - but I do miss the support of the great group in Phoenixville. I hope to see you soon,
Eileen
It is so good to see your smiling face and hear that you are doing so well. I know that you have had your struggles but it seems that you are overcoming them - CONGRATULATIONS!. I haven't been able to make it to the Phoenixville meetings lately, but hope to get back in July or August. Wednesdays have been very full for me - but I do miss the support of the great group in Phoenixville. I hope to see you soon,
Eileen
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