Question about Wedding shortly after surgery date

Hi All -
I'm having my surgery on June 23.  Barring any unforeseen cir****tances, I expect to be feeling better after a couple of weeks.

With that said, I've been invited to a wedding that I should attend.  Not family, but family of my SO, so I really need to be there. They are expecting me to attend with my SO and it was really very kind of them to invite me.  

Would it be better to mention in advance that I won't be able to eat anything or do I let my SO eat some of my meal so that it looks like I picked at it??   The only person in SO's family that knows is his Mom.  Other than that, I asked her not to mention it to anyone else.   I'm really not to keen on bringing this up in advance, since I don't even know the bride or the groom.  I will be meeting them both for the first time that day. 

What do you all think??

Thanks,
Lisa

You need to be sure there are plenty of non-caffeine, no sugar beverages that you can partake of.  You may want to bring packets of boullion to add to ho****er.  Whatever you do, NO Alcohol Whatsoever. No Carbonated Beverages Whatsoever, No Fruit Juices from the bar.

I don't think that I would tell them - but that's just me. I'd have safe snacks in my purse - if you are self consious bringing them out at the table you could always excuse yourself to the car and have a snack and go back in. You could just blame it on a stomach bug if you don't want everyone to know.

You'll feel fine to go I'm sure! Good luck and keep us posted how you make out!

Liz

I took the chicken way out and just declined invitations so far. The temptation would be to great for me

While there are many people in my life that know I had the surgery, there are also a lot of people who don't know..  I have a pretty active social calendar, so from the beginning I went to events, parties, etc... and couldn't eat and you know what I learned - no one really pays attention to what anyone else is doing. 

You will only be post-op a few weeks (and I don't know about your doctor, but I wasn't eating much of anything), so if you want to... excuse yourself at dinner time to take a phone call - and drink water!  No one really knows what you're drinking (and to be honest, no one cares).  Dance the night away and HAVE FUN!!!

Lou
P.S. depending on what you are eating, it wouldn't hurt to be prepared with some things in your purse like sugar-free/fat free puddings, etc... just in case

I don't think there's any reason to mention it to anyone ahead of time.  The only people who MIGHT question it are the people at your table and the wait staff.

I had my brothers graduation party 2 weeks post op was still on full liquids.  It was an "hors douvers" party and that worked to my advantage!  I kept a little plate with me and "mixed and mingled" with guests (as that's how the party was set up)  No one caught on that I carried the same damn plate of food around with me for about 4 hours, LOL but went through a whole bunch of water.

Go and enjoy yourself!  If anyone DOES ask just tell them you're not up to eating so much....

Pam

I would attend, too. I went to a wedding about six weeks after my surgery, and I was fine.  I brought some 4C 2 Go (like crystal light but with splenda) packets with me, and added them to water so I'd have something to drink.  During the ****tail hour, I had some cheese and I was happy with that.  Then during the dinner, I chose the prime rib, ate about 3 oz of that, one bite of potato, and a few bites of vegetables.  I really didn't care that I couldn't eat all the food (and there was a LOT), and instead focused on having fun and dancing and socializing.

Lesley

If you're feeling up to it go and have a great time - you're more self-conscious about it right now. Others will barely notice and if someone does they'll just think you're on a diet. I had to go away to a work event about 2 months post-op and had just started back on 'real' food and was barely eating - all of my co-workers knew about my surgery but at the dinner the first night our big bosses made us mix it up and sit with employees from other offices so we could meet every one. I almost panicked and backed out of the dinner right then and there but I didn't - I got my dinner, pushed it around on my plate and ate the soft stuff. Drank water - and of course there was a massive dessert table loaded with sugary treats - but there was also some fruit so I took a small plate of that and had it. The guy sitting next to me finally said 'Boy Kathy you sure are being good' and I just smiled. He saw me the next morning in the fitness center on the bike so I'm sure he figured I was just dieting to lose weight.

And if someone really mentions you not eating little white lies are always good - just say 'oh, I'm jsut coming off a stomach bug and things just don't taste right yet' or something along those lines, but do make sure you get some protein in somehow during the course of the event - you don't want to not eat anything - that's not good for you either.

Take care and have a good time...and remember, eveyone will be focused on the bride and groom, not  you and your plate.

Lisa,

You don't say exactly how long after your surgery the wedding would be.. will it be while you're still on food restrictions (i.e., pureed, liquids?)? 

I'm kinda torn on how I'd respond.  Knowing that many folks are paying upward of $50/plate for your dinner (some into the hundreds), I would quietly let them know as a courtesy that you will be bringing your own food as you will be on a special diet during your recovery from surgery.  You don't need to share any more than that, if you don't want to.   Then pack yourself a nice insulated bag with an assortment  (pre-measured, of course) of the foods you can have at that point in your recovery, and take your medical alert card from Barix in case the wait staff give you any grief about it (they really, really shouldn't).  Simply ask for an empty salad plate or bowl or whatever (or you can bring your own if you want).  If the wait staff are nice, they may even be willing to microwave something for you! 

Having said that, if you really don't want anyone to know anything about your surgery, you can always go the route of not saying anything and offering your SO food from your plate.  BUT... you'll still need to pack your WLS-friendly foods and figure out how to eat them so you don't feel either deprived or awkward.  You can also check on the menu in advance to see if there are items that will be friendly to your pouch at whatever recovery stage it's in.  I.e., a nice soup (without sugar), etc.

Keep in mind that DANCING is great exercise!  And as Nan said... NO alcohol!

Karen

Hey Lisa
I would definitely go and don't see the need to tell them anything.   Most of the time, the cost per person not only includes the meal, but all the other goodies and as long as you are giving them a nice gift (which I'm sure you are) I wouldn't worry about the wasted food.    You may want to bring along a few things in your purse. 
Yesterday I went to an outdoor festival and I brought a tiny cooler (looks like a purse) with string cheese and yogurt.  that got me through a couple of "meals".  
If you are going while you are eating only liquids, just bring some crystal lite packets or something to jazz up your water :)