I'm brand new and pre op

Hi everyone.  My name is Remi.  I'll be having the gastic bypass on May 14 at Barix by Dr. Boe.  This is the first time I've been to the web site and the first evening I've posted.  I plan on going to the support group (my first one) this Saturday.  I'm nervous about everything and yet SOOOOOOOOOO excited.  I've been going through the approval process for 2 years now and it's actually going to happen within the next 2 weeks.  I can't believe it!!!!!  My time is really here.  I feel like I'm so close to actually living and yet, absolutely terrified about all the life changes that I'll be hit with.  I can't wait for the most simple things the occur, like being able to fit comfortably in the car with my seatbelt on and being able to walk more than 5 feet without losing my breath.  But with these great moments will come the scary times as well which I can't help but fixate on. 

I have never in my life eaten a vegetable.  I'm actually terrified!  I have never once tried salad.  If it's not fried and covered with cheese or chocolate I haven't eaten it before and I am actually scared.  Thank god I'm a single mother and never have the opportunity to go out because what do people do who aren't going out to eat?  I haven't got a clue!  And what happens when you're PMS'ing?  No chocolate??? 

So, like I said, I am very nervous about the mental game of this whole thing.  I don't know who I will be.  I haven't been thin at all in my adulthood.  I met my ex when I was 22 (I'm now 36) and began putting on weight immediately.  I don't know what life will be like. I can't even imagine being comfortable in my own skin.  I really didn't ever think it would happen and now change is coming right to me.  Everything I'm dreamed about it right in front of me ready to happen!   Now is my time to really live.  Wow!  What a huge time in one's life, no?  Well, thank all of you for reading this.  I am hoping to meet others who I can just feel free to talk to about this stuff.  Thank you all!!!

Here is some advice for you. I am 2 1/2 years out and like you I was never thin so this process in some ways I feel is harder because when I look in the mirror I see a stranger. Those I know who have been thin in their adult lives seem to have a easier time of it because they look in the mirror and they see the person they used to be again.

I have some advice, take it or leave it but it has helped me and I believe has helped or is helping some of the clients I work with.

1. Make a book, log journal, scrap book or whatever you want of the many things about your life you dont like now.  ie: All the reasons being fat sucks, foods that i abuse my body with, things i wish i could that i cant, what are my fears,.etc then make a long detailed list of all the things you cant wait to do once you are healthier and smaller. Everything from crossing your legs to going on a vacation...everything hold nothing back. When you have your wow moments write them down. when you accomplish something on your list? Mark it off. There is satisfaction in meeting goals, and in crossing things off a list. It is also a way to remember where you were and how far you have come. Trust me, when you are further out and the wow moments begin to be fewer and far between, you need to have something you can look back to, to remind you so you can stay motivated. It is so amazing how easy we forget " booth anxiety: LOL

 

2. blog about your experience or write a journal you will be glad you did.

3. make some promises to yourself preop and about what you will and will not do and stick to them. they will be a life raft in rough waters. I made a promise to myself that post op I would not eat sugar, try sugar, nothing not even a small peice of chocolate. I went through too much to do that to myself. I have to say at this point it is a life saver, I dont have to think about it when someone offers me cake, I just say no thank you because " i dont eat cake"  I dont rob banks and I dont eat sugar it is that simple. It is hard enough making the right decisions about food on a daily basis without sugar on the table. If I had to deal with that too I would be screwed. I also made my promise about fast food such as mcdonalds, no good ever came from me in a mickey D's drive through so it is a place I do not go now, not Burger King either.

4. I dont drink soda diet or otherwise, he told me not to and so I dont.
5. I waited 2 years before I tried any alcohol because I did not want to trade addictions, i have had some recently and I am glad I waited.
6. Be open to therapy, you made need it at some point. That is ok, this is a huge huge change.

I dont know that you will have to worry about the veggies for awhile. I dont eat that many really because I need room for the proteins etc and I was unable to tolerate salad until 3 mos or so ago anyway.
7. Your tastes will change so dont worry about missing a particular food. Cheeseburgers used to be my favorite food, and my fav abuse food. I can eat a few bites of one now and it is not satisfying at all, so now it would be the last thing I pick out in a restaurant. Your tastes do change and can change.

I say all of this not to preach and not to say my way is the only and best way. But I do know that this journey is hard and any safety nets you can put in place will be well worth the effort  in the long run.

Hi and Welcome,
First of all, you are in the right place for the best cyber support around.  The PA board is the best on OH.  Second, you are going to probably the best bariatric center around.  Barix will take good care of you.  The support there is terrific, I wish I would avail myself of it more.  Finally, Nicole's advice is perfect.  I am about the same amount of time out as she is, and I have made more than my share of mistakes post-op because of a little of sad, stupid reasons.  Print out her post, and follow it to the best of your ability.  You will not regret it.

Feel free to post here with all of you fears, questions, concerns, and successes. 

Hugs,
Trish

Hi Remi - welcome to the PA Boards. Congratulations on your upcoming surgery with Dr Boe - I had him for my surgery and couldn't have been more pleased with him, Barix and the entire experience - they are an A-one, top-notch facility and you will receive the best of care and attention.

That being said we were all scared as we began our surgery - it is a major lifestyle and life change, but if you have been preparing and going through the process for 2 years I would say you are ready to grab hold of the new life and experiences coming your way and you will do fine with it.

Support is key in this journey - use every ounce of it you can get from Barix, the nuts, these boards and the meetings - you'll have a million questions and we'll have a million answers!

I will be 52 this year and have been obese since I was in my late teens - went over 200 lbs when I had my daughter at age 20 - I'm almost back to that weight now and it is really weird at times. I got so 'comfortable' in my fluffy body but let me tell you, this new on is soooo much better! You'll be amazed at how much better you feel, the new things you can do, and you will become comfortable in your new body.

You'll find new things to get you thru PMS and stressful times - mostly friends like us and there are always sugar-free alternatives out there that will more than satisfy your cravings.

Welcome!! You're about to begin one of the most exciting journeys of your life and we're all here to support you along the way.

Kathy

Hi Remi,
You have already rcvd really good advice - so I do not want to repeat what others have written.
I just want to say welcome to the boards and I am glad that you will coming to the support group
meeting. The meetings were a life saver for me. We have an incredible group and the group
leaders are amazing.
Tammy

HI Remi,

Like Tammy said, you have received great advice and the only thing I can add to that is that this is a super board and Barix is THE BEST!! I am six weeks out and while some days are not as easy as others....life is great and I would not change this for anything.
I will be at the meeting tomorrow and I look forward to meeting you. 

Thank you all for your replys.  Anyone who ends up at the meeting tomorrow, PLEASE introduce yourself to me.  I'm not sure what to expect so PLEASE come and say hi.  How long do the groups run by the way?  Starts at 12, right?  See you tomorrow and thanks again!!!!!  -REMI