Don't ask if you won't listen~
As I am approaching the one year mark I am grateful for all the advise I have gotten and LISTEN to being on here and talking to those who have walked ahead of me on this journey. In the past few months I have been able to pay it forward and help others share the knowledge I was given from those ahead of me.
BUT it is really and seriously annoying me to no end when people ask for advise and then people take time to answer questions in detail time and time again then people do NOT follow the advise and keep doing the same things over and over. IF you do not really want to know the answer why bother wasting our time in answering you if you are just going to do whatever the hell you want anyway and ignore everything we have told you to we are blue in the face.
There is a wealth of knowledge here so please to not abuse those that are willing to share what we have learned along the journey. It is not a case if Mommy says NO go ask Grandmom maybe she will tell you it is OK to eat the chocolate cake If you rephrase the question ...Mommy ,Daddy , and all the whole family are going to tell you the rules FOLLOW THEM! We have been there and know what we are talking about. Sorry if I sound like a b*tch but it is starting to be insulting the blatant ignoring of advise when we were asked.....
BUT it is really and seriously annoying me to no end when people ask for advise and then people take time to answer questions in detail time and time again then people do NOT follow the advise and keep doing the same things over and over. IF you do not really want to know the answer why bother wasting our time in answering you if you are just going to do whatever the hell you want anyway and ignore everything we have told you to we are blue in the face.
There is a wealth of knowledge here so please to not abuse those that are willing to share what we have learned along the journey. It is not a case if Mommy says NO go ask Grandmom maybe she will tell you it is OK to eat the chocolate cake If you rephrase the question ...Mommy ,Daddy , and all the whole family are going to tell you the rules FOLLOW THEM! We have been there and know what we are talking about. Sorry if I sound like a b*tch but it is starting to be insulting the blatant ignoring of advise when we were asked.....
Amen, I have given up on "advice" giving at times on here because I am not going to waste my time if the person doesn't care anyways. I am by no means an expert, but I am 4 1/2 years out, got to goal and stayed there other than pregnancy. So I think I can offer some sort of help. It's obvious when someone truly wants help and heeds advice and when others just want to hear what they want or get attention maybe.
We all need a swift kick once in awhile. It is normal. But to ignore advice of people who KNOW, and have been there is disrespectful and a waste of time.
Thanks for posting this, you have said a few things I have bit my tongue about. This IS a support board but you can only support someone if they are willing to take it.
We all need a swift kick once in awhile. It is normal. But to ignore advice of people who KNOW, and have been there is disrespectful and a waste of time.
Thanks for posting this, you have said a few things I have bit my tongue about. This IS a support board but you can only support someone if they are willing to take it.
When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila & salt and give me a call!
Hello!
I have to tell you that despite being new and one of the people who are currently getting advice, I share your frustration with some of the questions/responses.
It is sad to me that some people not only disregard the kind advice provided by others who have gone through this, but ignore the basic "rules" of diet in post weight loss surgery.
I don't see how eating fast food or a lot of candy a couple weeks out of surgery is appropriate under any cir****tance. I feel bad for those who just don't or won't get it.
It makes me understand why I had to go through such rigorous preperations for my surgery as it is not a quick fix, its a complete and lifelong lifestyle change. I have been preparing for surgery since 9/08. I have been seeing a therapist who specializes in WLS and food issues since 1/09 and have totally prepared myself for the new lifestyle.
It is sad that some people go through this type of major surgery and then resume the same behaviors so early out. I know that many people fall into their old "bad" behaviors later down the road (which is why I am going to continue seeing this therapist to work on the weight issues) but to be only a couple weeks out and do it- its like they never took the surgery seriously going into it.....
I have RNY 2 weeks from today (yikes!) and wanted to tell you I do appreciate all of your support and advice and you won't need to worry about advice being lost on me. I won't be going to a fast food restaurant for a meal a month after surgery
I hope that those who are struggling with wrong choices will seek out their nutritionist and a counselor to help get back on track. Good luck to all and please don't give up so soon if you are struggling- if you are serious about using the tool of WLS, then follow your surgeons instructions and good advice of our peers on here!!
I have to tell you that despite being new and one of the people who are currently getting advice, I share your frustration with some of the questions/responses.
It is sad to me that some people not only disregard the kind advice provided by others who have gone through this, but ignore the basic "rules" of diet in post weight loss surgery.
I don't see how eating fast food or a lot of candy a couple weeks out of surgery is appropriate under any cir****tance. I feel bad for those who just don't or won't get it.
It makes me understand why I had to go through such rigorous preperations for my surgery as it is not a quick fix, its a complete and lifelong lifestyle change. I have been preparing for surgery since 9/08. I have been seeing a therapist who specializes in WLS and food issues since 1/09 and have totally prepared myself for the new lifestyle.
It is sad that some people go through this type of major surgery and then resume the same behaviors so early out. I know that many people fall into their old "bad" behaviors later down the road (which is why I am going to continue seeing this therapist to work on the weight issues) but to be only a couple weeks out and do it- its like they never took the surgery seriously going into it.....
I have RNY 2 weeks from today (yikes!) and wanted to tell you I do appreciate all of your support and advice and you won't need to worry about advice being lost on me. I won't be going to a fast food restaurant for a meal a month after surgery
I hope that those who are struggling with wrong choices will seek out their nutritionist and a counselor to help get back on track. Good luck to all and please don't give up so soon if you are struggling- if you are serious about using the tool of WLS, then follow your surgeons instructions and good advice of our peers on here!!
Absolutely fabulous insite, from a "newbie" (please dont' take that as an insult) Copy and past that post to your blog or print it out or whatever if you so choose - you may find it helpful to read during some "stall" time after surgery or when you notice the "fire" dying (which many further out find....)
Very very very well said and well thought out!
Pam
Very very very well said and well thought out!
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
Thanks, Pam! And I'm definitely not insulted . Happy to be a newbie on the team and to join you all in 2 weeks on the "losers bench" 
I will save this one to remind myself when I'm further down the road and feel like fallng into the old habits that got me to this place (BMI 42 and tons of medical issues at age 36).
Thanks again to everyone for their support
I will save this one to remind myself when I'm further down the road and feel like fallng into the old habits that got me to this place (BMI 42 and tons of medical issues at age 36).
Thanks again to everyone for their support
Kathleen with that attitude about this journey you are going to be a PRO before long in this journey. You have as my good friend Shauna says ..."You have the fire" It is the fire in those after us that keeps it burning in those before you .
Good Luck and I can't wait to sit next you on the losers bench!
Bravo!
Good Luck and I can't wait to sit next you on the losers bench!
Bravo!
Well said, Beth, VERY well said!
Like you, I am also very thankful for the people who were there for me when I was a newbie and who are there for me now during this journey. And I am honored that I am now in a position to give advice and encouragement to those who are just starting out. That being said, EVERYONE on here has each others' best interests at heart. If anyone gives advice, it's because they are looking out for your health and well-being. And seeing that well-intentioned advice met with "But I don't wanna!" or "I'm taking my marbles and I'm going home!" is frustrating beyond words.
This tool works, lots of us are proof of that. But it only works if you work it. And the only one who can work it is you.
Lesley
Like you, I am also very thankful for the people who were there for me when I was a newbie and who are there for me now during this journey. And I am honored that I am now in a position to give advice and encouragement to those who are just starting out. That being said, EVERYONE on here has each others' best interests at heart. If anyone gives advice, it's because they are looking out for your health and well-being. And seeing that well-intentioned advice met with "But I don't wanna!" or "I'm taking my marbles and I'm going home!" is frustrating beyond words.
This tool works, lots of us are proof of that. But it only works if you work it. And the only one who can work it is you.
Lesley
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