OT - TERRIFED to sleep
I don't take it as judging at all. And quite frankly Brian and I have discussed this just this week. He made mention of not spending a lot of time together and what not and me always doing "something" (IE the chores and what not. Even while watching TV w/ him I'll be doing laundry)
Unfortunately the work/travel thing has to stay where it is right now. Until Brian gets hired for a job at least part time...it's what is paying the bills. I have, however, started refusing overtime at the one job (lehigh), and have even requested to be "furloughed" on nights when we are over staffed. Such as tonight. I was supposed to work 7p-7a. I have off until at LEAST 3am but probably the whole night.
Are the dreams a symptom? Probably. Hence why I asked. That was basically Brian's answer...but he didn't know how to word it like you just did. Your answer made sense. Brian's vaguness of "a metaphor perhaps" left me with more questions than answers. Hence why I came here :)
The balance is definately an issue. And I definately attempt to "do it all". Especially now that physically and energetically, I feel I CAN do it all. 100 + pounds ago I would be exhausted from one night of work aching and hurting all over the place. Now it's not the case. I almost want to say it's a mind game for me without me knowing it. How much can I do? I don't think that's healthy by any means, nor did I think I was doing that until I thought about your response and my original post and my answer to you.
Try not to worry to much - I'll be OK, promise. And just before I opened this I was thinking to myself "Hey - seeing as though I might not work tonight maybe I'll make the drive to Barix and do the meeting and then go right to work from there" I understand support is necessary - but maybe I need a day at home and just chill. As opposed to getting up, running out the door, driving to Barix, staying there for four hours, driving home just to change to go to work.
:)
Love ya lots too!
Pam
Unfortunately the work/travel thing has to stay where it is right now. Until Brian gets hired for a job at least part time...it's what is paying the bills. I have, however, started refusing overtime at the one job (lehigh), and have even requested to be "furloughed" on nights when we are over staffed. Such as tonight. I was supposed to work 7p-7a. I have off until at LEAST 3am but probably the whole night.
Are the dreams a symptom? Probably. Hence why I asked. That was basically Brian's answer...but he didn't know how to word it like you just did. Your answer made sense. Brian's vaguness of "a metaphor perhaps" left me with more questions than answers. Hence why I came here :)
The balance is definately an issue. And I definately attempt to "do it all". Especially now that physically and energetically, I feel I CAN do it all. 100 + pounds ago I would be exhausted from one night of work aching and hurting all over the place. Now it's not the case. I almost want to say it's a mind game for me without me knowing it. How much can I do? I don't think that's healthy by any means, nor did I think I was doing that until I thought about your response and my original post and my answer to you.
Try not to worry to much - I'll be OK, promise. And just before I opened this I was thinking to myself "Hey - seeing as though I might not work tonight maybe I'll make the drive to Barix and do the meeting and then go right to work from there" I understand support is necessary - but maybe I need a day at home and just chill. As opposed to getting up, running out the door, driving to Barix, staying there for four hours, driving home just to change to go to work.
:)
Love ya lots too!
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
good girl. It is hard when someone dangles money in front of you LOL. I am like you, I now have the energy to do it all and so now I have found myself working 3 jobs. I think refusing the OT and getting furloughs is exactly what you need to do and not only do it, accept it and be ok with it.
we have many accounts and if our personal account is empty and our bank account overflows it is a false sense of wealth No doubt you can get the money and the personal time back in balance. Seems as if you have already started. Me too.
We know you can do it all, you are wonder woman. But now you dont really have to. You have already done one of the hardest things you will ever do. You have proved yourself many times over
we have many accounts and if our personal account is empty and our bank account overflows it is a false sense of wealth No doubt you can get the money and the personal time back in balance. Seems as if you have already started. Me too.
We know you can do it all, you are wonder woman. But now you dont really have to. You have already done one of the hardest things you will ever do. You have proved yourself many times over
"We know you can do it all, you are wonder woman" Does wonder woman have bad dreams then, too?
Now it's a matter of proving it to myself. As usual (and like so many) I am my own worst critic. Hopefully that will come with continued time and work.
Oh - and I'm only up now because I had to call into work to see if I had to go in at 3am (technically they are being left short by me not coming in, but considering the ER is "under control" they said its ok that I stayed home.) So I'm drinking some water and going back to bed.
Pam
Now it's a matter of proving it to myself. As usual (and like so many) I am my own worst critic. Hopefully that will come with continued time and work.
Oh - and I'm only up now because I had to call into work to see if I had to go in at 3am (technically they are being left short by me not coming in, but considering the ER is "under control" they said its ok that I stayed home.) So I'm drinking some water and going back to bed.
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.
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