needing to vent a little....

Well, I am having a hard time with some people at work for the last few months since I have been back to work after my RNY.  About a week ago, my immediate boss sat me down in the department head's office and asked me why I have such an attitude problem lately.  I've been getting nothing but negative vibes from these others at work, and I am the one who's called on the carpet!  It's really stressing me out, to the point that I have not slept much in about 2 weeks, and I am fixating on food!  I am finding myself eating when I can't sleep-granted I am not eating junk (because I don't keep any in the house), but I know that I shouldn't be doing that!  I guess this whole work thing is getting me depressed and I am turning to the wrong "solutions" to hopefully make me feel better...but it's just making me feel worse about myself.  I have done so good since my surgery, and I don't want this to set me back...I need some advice, please.  Thanks for letting me vent!

Dee

I'm assuming your boss's perception of your "attitude problem" is simply just your normal reaction to the treatment you've been getting from your co-workers.  I think some people just  have a tendency to allow their personal feelings about some things (WLS, and their own body images) to cloud their judgement.  And, the sad part is, that some of those people at work probably judged you for your decision to better your life.  Sadly, it's a fact we face as WLS patients, that people are going to assume that we took the "easy way out."  And why couldn't "a little diet and exercise" help us? Or, maybe some are just a tidbit jealous that they can't find it inside themselves to come to terms with their own bodies and seek alternative treatment for their own issues.

Bottom line here is that  you made your life changes for YOU.  As hard as it may be to get a thicker skin at work, because you have to see these people all day, it's what you're going to have to do to save yourself and all of your hard work up until this point.  Don't let a few jealous haters allow you to sabotage your success.  You've come too far now to allow something so small to interfere with one of the biggest things you've ever done for yourself.  I don't mean to minimize your feelings by referring to what's going on at work as "small", but if you compare it to the big picture, and what you've been through up to now, it does kinda look small, right? 

My advice to you would be to put a smile on your face, and know that you ultimately took care of YOU.  And eventhough it feels like you're getting out of control, you already know what you're doing wrong, and you can control it.  Stay positive, and stay well, and show up to work with a smile everyday, while the pounds keep falling off.  Knowing that they are not affecting you, will probably make them mad, but hey, that's their problem.  Get some rest!  Good luck.  Hope I helped.

Thank you so much. It did help. You're right, I need to take back control over myself and not let anyone else bring me down and sabatage the success that I have already achieved.  Thanks again!

Dee

I agree with Tammy.  I remember in the beginning it was hard to focus on myself as I'd never done it before.   At the same time, everyone around me (so I thought) was focusing on me too, watching what I ate (or didn't) and seeing the pounds peel off.   It got aggravating.  I, too, got a few squawks from co-workers on my new "attitude" as they'd never seen me put "me" first.  They said I was no fun anymore.  And, when they tried to "break" me, I gave them tude or walk away.  All you need to concentrate on right now is YOU;  lay low, if the boss says something again, point out that you made a life changing decision for your health, it wasn't an easy one as (ignorant to the facts) people think.   Assure him that you appreciate your position and will try your best to be pleasant but would also appreciate other folks respecting your space and need to adjust.   If, god forbid, you'd just returned back from a mastectomy, I bet the co-workers would be kinder to you knowing the emotions you are going through, right?   People just don't "get" the "head" part of this surgery.   If you think therapy would help, by all means, do it.   You can't change THEM, only YOU.

Turning to food is always our first response.  It's what we used before to cope and what we automatically want to cope.

I don't have any clear cut answers for you but wanted you to know others (including myself) have been there.  The fact you recognize what you are doing is a great first step. 

I'm sorry this is going on and hope you get some resolve from your co workers soon!

Pam

Dee,
I went through a lot of emotions, which I think in part had to do with so many hormones
beling released from fat. I was depressed and could not figure out why I was not so so happy when I was losing and should have been ecstatic. I went to therapy - needed to fix my head. 
It helped me to change the way I looked at some things and eventually I felt better. For example,
the negative vibes could be jealousy from your coworkers. You are becoming a new person and they do not know how to deal with you. Good luck - hope this helps a little.
Tammy

Thank you everyone!!  I did find a counselor that deals with specifically balance in your life and career...I thought this might be a good first step.  I am so glad and appreciative to have such a wonderful support here!  Thanks again!

Dee