Stress Eating
The wife and I are fighting a lot lately. It's gotten pretty rough.
We had to take a few days apart. but that poses a problem for me....
I almost posted to see if Michaels was on the menu last nite.......
But w/ my seizures, I am not permitted to drive...so that means a lot of walking! I walked over 6 miles yesterday, and jogged for the first time post-op.
But I want to eat myself out of house and home. I am kinda new to the area, so my friends live far away, and there is no one to talk to, and tv sucks.... but my friend fatty fried food is always there. I can walk to Sonic, KFC, Wendy's, McDonalds.
We had to take a few days apart. but that poses a problem for me....
I almost posted to see if Michaels was on the menu last nite.......
But w/ my seizures, I am not permitted to drive...so that means a lot of walking! I walked over 6 miles yesterday, and jogged for the first time post-op.
But I want to eat myself out of house and home. I am kinda new to the area, so my friends live far away, and there is no one to talk to, and tv sucks.... but my friend fatty fried food is always there. I can walk to Sonic, KFC, Wendy's, McDonalds.
Steve, I wish I had the answer... I'm a stress eater also : ( Yesterday I was in the house with a sleeve of girls scout cookies.. I convinced myself I could have 1 serving. well after two servings (10 shortbread cookies) I crumbled the rest of the pack and spread them across the garbage. I then water loaded. I did much better the rest of the day.
How about a hobby something you can do with your hands.. Don't laugh but Rosie Grier (sp?) used to do needle point. Or maybe some woodworking projects. Something that will keep both your mind and hands occupied.
Good luck.. Maria
How about a hobby something you can do with your hands.. Don't laugh but Rosie Grier (sp?) used to do needle point. Or maybe some woodworking projects. Something that will keep both your mind and hands occupied.
Good luck.. Maria
Steve - i am sorry to hear that you and your wife are going through a rough time - do you think that maybe family counseling would help?
AS for the stress eating part - I find that salty crunchy things help. Celery with low fat cream cheese or peanut butter, nuts, soy nuts, or even a few pretzels. I am a major stress eater and I need something crunchy - before it would have been french fries or potato chips. I do still on occasion reach for one of these - I will get fries but I get the kids size, I'll eat a handful of potato chips and I refuse to have these things in the house. If you do have the fast food pick the best option - get a hamburger or cheeseburger (NOTE that I am not condonig this but if you are going to do it make a smart choice) I have had a fast food burger since surgery - maybe a handful of times in 2 years, and I can tell you that I ALWAYS regret it a few minutes later - it just makes me feel terrible.
Hope that things are going better! I can imagine that all of this is tough on the whole family - hang in there, since you are both post-op I am sure that there is a wide spring of emotions on both sides, then throw in the recent medical issues and the kids and well I am sure things are tense - hang in there and talk it out with your wife - best way to resolve this is to talk it out with her!
Hope this helps!!
Liz
AS for the stress eating part - I find that salty crunchy things help. Celery with low fat cream cheese or peanut butter, nuts, soy nuts, or even a few pretzels. I am a major stress eater and I need something crunchy - before it would have been french fries or potato chips. I do still on occasion reach for one of these - I will get fries but I get the kids size, I'll eat a handful of potato chips and I refuse to have these things in the house. If you do have the fast food pick the best option - get a hamburger or cheeseburger (NOTE that I am not condonig this but if you are going to do it make a smart choice) I have had a fast food burger since surgery - maybe a handful of times in 2 years, and I can tell you that I ALWAYS regret it a few minutes later - it just makes me feel terrible.
Hope that things are going better! I can imagine that all of this is tough on the whole family - hang in there, since you are both post-op I am sure that there is a wide spring of emotions on both sides, then throw in the recent medical issues and the kids and well I am sure things are tense - hang in there and talk it out with your wife - best way to resolve this is to talk it out with her!
Hope this helps!!
Liz
Sorry to hear dude.
Don't stop the multi-vitamins and don't stop the meds...Try your best to stay away from the fast food places - you're only hurting yourself and all you've accomplished todate. BUT - I'm not telling you you don't know already.
I SUFFER FROM THE SAME ISSUE.
Try to change the stress eating to stress exercising :) I'm doing the *same thing* however my source of anxiety is *work*. Just last week I got so pissed off at something I could have screamed....I went to my desk, sat down and though "where can I get some sugar free ice cream around here".....BUT THEN I stopped myself (it was hard) and said **** THIS, I'm going to the gym (during work time) to blow off some steam.
After the routine and a nice warm shower, I felt better. HOWEVER I still had to deal with the root problem that was ******g me off....so, after a good nights sleep, I developed my plan of attack and am chipping away at it every day. My issue is a "database" related thingy with a spice of personalities and corporate BS/hurdles thrown into the mix.
You've often posted about your family stuff. I think it's time you have a talk with your wife (not this board) and deal with whatever issues are plauging you guys. Councling, as Liz mentions, can truly help.
A LOT OF US *NEED* to speak to a professional at some point. NONE OF US on this board are professional councilers - frankly, we're all full of **** (in a nice way) and can only provide you with our 'take' on things. ESPECIALLY after our GBP, the psycologist I saw pre-surgery, explained to me, in-depth, the roller-coaster we're going through - psycologically. Both you and your wife are going through the same BUT DIFFERENT rollercoasters.
Again - we're all full of *poo-poo* and I am no therapist or counsler. So take what I say with a grain of salt. I DO CARE ABOUT YOU (and all those I've met recently on this board and at Barix). However, I'm just a dude who was sliced open, had my stomach/digestive process re-routed - I have no easy answers. I do know that fast food places are how I got to +340lbs, I do know that I am a 'recovering' stress eater. I do know that exercise helps me deal with "one time" stresses but the hard part is dealing with the root of the problem (*if* you're lucky enough to identify it). I deal with 'roots of the problem' by documenting out a timeline, talking with professionals, and seeing help from those who've gone through it before..... Your're doing most of those - so that's good. The tough part is to take the next step.
BUT YOU KNOW ALL THIS....so, I'm glad we're here as a sounding board. Now go do something about it and report back!
Best of luck!
p.s.: I also reach for a bottle of water (or milk) when I get the urge to 'eat bad'. The hunger is psycological so best to *not* add calories to your diet.
Don't stop the multi-vitamins and don't stop the meds...Try your best to stay away from the fast food places - you're only hurting yourself and all you've accomplished todate. BUT - I'm not telling you you don't know already.
I SUFFER FROM THE SAME ISSUE.
Try to change the stress eating to stress exercising :) I'm doing the *same thing* however my source of anxiety is *work*. Just last week I got so pissed off at something I could have screamed....I went to my desk, sat down and though "where can I get some sugar free ice cream around here".....BUT THEN I stopped myself (it was hard) and said **** THIS, I'm going to the gym (during work time) to blow off some steam.
After the routine and a nice warm shower, I felt better. HOWEVER I still had to deal with the root problem that was ******g me off....so, after a good nights sleep, I developed my plan of attack and am chipping away at it every day. My issue is a "database" related thingy with a spice of personalities and corporate BS/hurdles thrown into the mix.
You've often posted about your family stuff. I think it's time you have a talk with your wife (not this board) and deal with whatever issues are plauging you guys. Councling, as Liz mentions, can truly help.
A LOT OF US *NEED* to speak to a professional at some point. NONE OF US on this board are professional councilers - frankly, we're all full of **** (in a nice way) and can only provide you with our 'take' on things. ESPECIALLY after our GBP, the psycologist I saw pre-surgery, explained to me, in-depth, the roller-coaster we're going through - psycologically. Both you and your wife are going through the same BUT DIFFERENT rollercoasters.
Again - we're all full of *poo-poo* and I am no therapist or counsler. So take what I say with a grain of salt. I DO CARE ABOUT YOU (and all those I've met recently on this board and at Barix). However, I'm just a dude who was sliced open, had my stomach/digestive process re-routed - I have no easy answers. I do know that fast food places are how I got to +340lbs, I do know that I am a 'recovering' stress eater. I do know that exercise helps me deal with "one time" stresses but the hard part is dealing with the root of the problem (*if* you're lucky enough to identify it). I deal with 'roots of the problem' by documenting out a timeline, talking with professionals, and seeing help from those who've gone through it before..... Your're doing most of those - so that's good. The tough part is to take the next step.
BUT YOU KNOW ALL THIS....so, I'm glad we're here as a sounding board. Now go do something about it and report back!
Best of luck!
p.s.: I also reach for a bottle of water (or milk) when I get the urge to 'eat bad'. The hunger is psycological so best to *not* add calories to your diet.
Even if you are walking to your 'fatty fried food friends' places there are healthier choices you can make while there - just stop before ordering and really think about what having something fried or greasy is going to do to your pouch. For me its almost as bad as sugar (guess I'm lucky that way). But they all have salads and grilled chicken choices, so even tho they're not always the best either they beat the heck out of a quarter pounder or fried chicken. And step away from the fries!!
Walking is a great way to reduce stress - all the books will tell you that, but you can't walk away the problems you're having with your wife - those need to be faced and dealt with and if you two can't do it on your own then the others are right - contact a rabbi or a counselor or someone else who can help you sort through things.
You both had surgery about the same time, right? You could both be dealing with a lof of personal issues over that that are spilling into your married lives, and I know you have small children so they're going to sense it as well.
I wish you all the best - and remember, the so-called friend fatty food has never been your friend.
Kathy
Walking is a great way to reduce stress - all the books will tell you that, but you can't walk away the problems you're having with your wife - those need to be faced and dealt with and if you two can't do it on your own then the others are right - contact a rabbi or a counselor or someone else who can help you sort through things.
You both had surgery about the same time, right? You could both be dealing with a lof of personal issues over that that are spilling into your married lives, and I know you have small children so they're going to sense it as well.
I wish you all the best - and remember, the so-called friend fatty food has never been your friend.
Kathy
'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
Not two weeks after moving into a brand new place in a brand new state and starting a brand new job hubby walked out on me. Granted for only 3 days....but talk about stress. Not only did I have the new place and new area to get used to I was working day shift (not my for-tay I might add) and couldn't even vent to people at work because they didn't know my name let alone care about my issues at home.
Did I stress eat? Absolutely. In fact on day 3 "home alone" with no contact from him (he had left in the middle of a fight so it wasn't like we discussed taking some time away from each other) I stopped at McDonalds and bought (and ate) myself a happy meal. Oh - and then I topped the evening off with a few rounds of drinks. Stupid. And at the end of it I was drunk, crying, had a very pissed off pouch, and still an empty house besides me and the cats.
I like everyone else can't give you answers. Really the only one who CAN give you answers is you and the wife.
And the conversation will probably suck. At least the first half of it. When Brian came home after his time away he greeted me with a three page hand written bulleted list of everything I did that was "wrong" or that made him angry. Three pages of (and I'm paraphrasing here - he wasn't this stupid) "Things you do that **** me off" is really a very very VERY hard thing to swallow. In fact I'm fairly certain that deep fried sugar coated donuts wouldn't have hurt as bad (although they would have hurt)
We had a very very VERY long discussion about a lot and continued to do so over the coming weeks. It was not "normal" in my house for quite some time.
I don't know the relationship you guys had before surgery and probably have absolutely no room to say what I'm about to - but I'm going to anyway. I read in a few different books prior to surgery that "Surgery makes a rocky marriage crumble and a strong marriage cemented" Neither one of you can hide your feelings in food any more or distract yourselves with it.
I'd love to say "don't eat that stuff" but we all know easier said than done. And at some point the one thing you WILL have to swallow is your issues with your wife and do whatever it takes - be it counseling, separation, therapy, an extended time away....whatever.
Pam
Did I stress eat? Absolutely. In fact on day 3 "home alone" with no contact from him (he had left in the middle of a fight so it wasn't like we discussed taking some time away from each other) I stopped at McDonalds and bought (and ate) myself a happy meal. Oh - and then I topped the evening off with a few rounds of drinks. Stupid. And at the end of it I was drunk, crying, had a very pissed off pouch, and still an empty house besides me and the cats.
I like everyone else can't give you answers. Really the only one who CAN give you answers is you and the wife.
And the conversation will probably suck. At least the first half of it. When Brian came home after his time away he greeted me with a three page hand written bulleted list of everything I did that was "wrong" or that made him angry. Three pages of (and I'm paraphrasing here - he wasn't this stupid) "Things you do that **** me off" is really a very very VERY hard thing to swallow. In fact I'm fairly certain that deep fried sugar coated donuts wouldn't have hurt as bad (although they would have hurt)
We had a very very VERY long discussion about a lot and continued to do so over the coming weeks. It was not "normal" in my house for quite some time.
I don't know the relationship you guys had before surgery and probably have absolutely no room to say what I'm about to - but I'm going to anyway. I read in a few different books prior to surgery that "Surgery makes a rocky marriage crumble and a strong marriage cemented" Neither one of you can hide your feelings in food any more or distract yourselves with it.
I'd love to say "don't eat that stuff" but we all know easier said than done. And at some point the one thing you WILL have to swallow is your issues with your wife and do whatever it takes - be it counseling, separation, therapy, an extended time away....whatever.
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
I would suggest some counseling for you and your wife.
we all do this, but the goal is to learn new coping skills to use instead of eating.
I would suggest that you do some major journaling and self talk about your situation
and decide what you can do to make some changes yourself not your wife just you.
The thoughts of wanting to stress eat are not wrong or bad, it is when we give in that we get in trouble. the thoughts will always be there. This is just part of the journey and hard part believe me I understand
we all do this, but the goal is to learn new coping skills to use instead of eating.
I would suggest that you do some major journaling and self talk about your situation
and decide what you can do to make some changes yourself not your wife just you.
The thoughts of wanting to stress eat are not wrong or bad, it is when we give in that we get in trouble. the thoughts will always be there. This is just part of the journey and hard part believe me I understand
Steve,
I'm stress eater, too.....While I accept that healthier choices are better than our old friendly foe fatty foods.....I'm trying to find other outlets for my stress and avoid using food as my source of comfort. (cause I know me... healthy choices will turn into unhealthy choices.)
Perhaps call a friend? Perhaps a new hobby (personally, I crochet/needlepoint cause it's not fun to get projects all greasy)....maybe woodworking? Maybe do some volunteer work at the local animal shelter -- always need dog walkers, kitty cuddlers. Maybe some other volunteer work? Maybe take an adult learning class?
Consider yourself hugged and remember that you are not alone in your quest to avoid fatty foods!
Hugs,
Jayne
I'm stress eater, too.....While I accept that healthier choices are better than our old friendly foe fatty foods.....I'm trying to find other outlets for my stress and avoid using food as my source of comfort. (cause I know me... healthy choices will turn into unhealthy choices.)
Perhaps call a friend? Perhaps a new hobby (personally, I crochet/needlepoint cause it's not fun to get projects all greasy)....maybe woodworking? Maybe do some volunteer work at the local animal shelter -- always need dog walkers, kitty cuddlers. Maybe some other volunteer work? Maybe take an adult learning class?
Consider yourself hugged and remember that you are not alone in your quest to avoid fatty foods!
Hugs,
Jayne
Hi Steve. I am sorry you and the wife are going thru a rought time. Let me say this to you since both of you had this surgery. I have been married 17 years and I am the most (honestly) difficult person to live with. I am usually laid back and easy going but I have come to have to admit that now I am much more sensitive since I had this surgery, I for some crazy insane reason hid behind my weight and now that things have changed its another adjustment to make. I am a creature of habit too, George and I have learned to fight and communicate a long time ago and to fight about what is going on now not in the past. Walking out to me doesn't solve anything. And we all know that eating doesn't solve the problem just like my pouring myself a long island iced tea won't solve it either. Calm down, go home and agree to talk things over. Don't scream, don't yell and most of all don't play the blaming game. You could be driving her crazy too. I am not saying you are but as we all know relationships are alot of work. Go home and both of you sit down and communicate without the children being there. You need to fight and communicate to me that is what it is all about. I used to be friends with a couple who would get into a fight and not talk to each other for months at a time and I finally got discusted and said to the both of them your problem is that when you get ticked off at each other you don't talk and then miss the hell out of each other and someone has to give it. Now when they have a fight no one walks out and they talk it out and are better for it. Steve sorry to say this to you but you also need to consider both of you and your wife's feelings. Its the two of you, And believe me George and I have had our battles. No realtionship or marriage is easy. This is the person we chose to grow old with thru thick and thin. Good and bad. Listen to each other.
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