Does anyone else feel insulted....
I have people tell me all the time that they don't recognize me when they see me. I just laugh. I know I have the done the same to ther people that have either gained or lost weight and I did not recognize them. When I first read your post I pulled out two pictures of my self - one at my highest weight and a current one. I had a hard time seeing the new me in the old photo and I was very happy about that. Maria
Mel,
I never thought of it that way... let me meditate on that one. I think you may have identified a guy thing...however, you're an outgoing/friendly (and attractive - even when you were heavier) type of person, so I find it hard to think they did not 'internalize' you.
Personally - I kinda like the "2nd identity" aspect of it. I'm with Patrick - I must be doing something right if ppl I know do a double take.
I cannot say I've had any overt - 'My GOD, I totally didn't even recognize you' comments yet. I have had a few friends (including the 2 @ work that I did tell) look past me. But when I said something like 'YOH - Earth to, Houston calling' they snap outta it. Those incidents, mind you, have been when they were in thought...I digress.
Which makes me think of Jen's stories (from months ago regarding 'Moe's Bar' in Drexel Hill) about 'shallow' friends-of-friends. Again, though, after meeting your husband I do not see his network to be comprized of 'shallow' individuals.
Now - I can say that even with my own aquaintances....like in the MBA..I may have met their significant others once or twice for a couple hours. My network is not nessecarily with them - even if we sat for dinner, had them over for a picnic, or whatever. I just might *not* recognize an aquaintance's wife or significant other (yes, I have some homosexual friends). This does not mean I don't internalize/look/accept them, nor does it mean I don't care about them.... hell, If i bumped into them at Acme I may not recognize them regardless of weight loss. I mean hell, when I bumped into you several months ago I might not have said anything had you not jumped up and said hi....serious. :)
I'd try not to get too bent outta shape. You *might* be reading into it more than is there. Take it as a compliment....men are from mars, eh.
-GD
I never thought of it that way... let me meditate on that one. I think you may have identified a guy thing...however, you're an outgoing/friendly (and attractive - even when you were heavier) type of person, so I find it hard to think they did not 'internalize' you.
Personally - I kinda like the "2nd identity" aspect of it. I'm with Patrick - I must be doing something right if ppl I know do a double take.
I cannot say I've had any overt - 'My GOD, I totally didn't even recognize you' comments yet. I have had a few friends (including the 2 @ work that I did tell) look past me. But when I said something like 'YOH - Earth to
Which makes me think of Jen's stories (from months ago regarding 'Moe's Bar' in Drexel Hill) about 'shallow' friends-of-friends. Again, though, after meeting your husband I do not see his network to be comprized of 'shallow' individuals.
Now - I can say that even with my own aquaintances....like in the MBA..I may have met their significant others once or twice for a couple hours. My network is not nessecarily with them - even if we sat for dinner, had them over for a picnic, or whatever. I just might *not* recognize an aquaintance's wife or significant other (yes, I have some homosexual friends). This does not mean I don't internalize/look/accept them, nor does it mean I don't care about them.... hell, If i bumped into them at Acme I may not recognize them regardless of weight loss. I mean hell, when I bumped into you several months ago I might not have said anything had you not jumped up and said hi....serious. :)
I'd try not to get too bent outta shape. You *might* be reading into it more than is there. Take it as a compliment....men are from mars, eh.
-GD
this one is a doozy. I felt like I used to be an easy target at the farm oh heres the fat girl from the catty people who used to keep their horses there and are no longer there so when I run into them at certain horse supply places they are amazed and tell me how good I look I just look at them and keep on going about my business now they all think I am stuck up. Oh well. Life's a ***** isn't it? So when they saw me at the park they said oh who is that on Cassidy? They know the horse because there aren't too many nice paliminos out there. They reconized the horse but not me so I simply rode the other way. I noticed that people look by the "fat" person as if we aren't there thinking that its the polite thing to do so I remember who looked by me and I walk on by. Life is good I alway say. All I can say is that I will never, ever treat anyone like that. We are all human beings no matter what we look like.
I'm not insulted until I walk into a room where no one has seen me since before surgery and know I had the surgery, know who I am, and say nothing.
I have a very good friend who everytime he sees me, looks behind me to see where I am hiding and projecting my voice from.
Some days your the dog and some days your the hydrant.
I get it ALL the time and it is aggrivating and weird for me still.
How about at Christmas and my own parents had no clue who I was - standing in their front doorway. I equate this as something like Althesheimers Disease only in reverse. Its where I know who everyone is - but no one has a clue who I am.
I am close to 185 pounds lost in 14 months and am still changing. Psychologically - sometimes I take it with a grain of salt when I am not recognized and others I cry and others I get almost angry. I am always checking my emotions especially with this particular topic.
Kim Z
How about at Christmas and my own parents had no clue who I was - standing in their front doorway. I equate this as something like Althesheimers Disease only in reverse. Its where I know who everyone is - but no one has a clue who I am.
I am close to 185 pounds lost in 14 months and am still changing. Psychologically - sometimes I take it with a grain of salt when I am not recognized and others I cry and others I get almost angry. I am always checking my emotions especially with this particular topic.
Kim Z
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