Does anyone else feel insulted....

when people you have known for years (not close friends but aquaintances) who simply have no idea who you are when you say hi?

This has happened more than a few times, and I guess losing 80 lbs is pretty major, but to simply not recognize me? Also it's only men, friends of my husband pretty much.

Just makes me think they never really "looked" at me when i was fat.

I suppose I could have worse problems in life, but for the moment this is a peeve of mine.

Granted Melanie, I'm a guy and it's happened to me plenty. I'm not insulted but it does give you insight into what a person really sees when they look at you. I have long time friends and acquainstances *****cognized me regardless of my weight and others who didn't have a clue... until I spoke and then they went through a strange brain shuffle trying to figure out things. Knowing the voice didn't go with the body. And then of course they're amazed, curious but also happy for me. We are all more than the package but not everyone sees that.

Dennis

yes yes! the strange brain suffle of "do I know this person or is she crazy" look.

And of course as others have said it really makes me realize that I have changed that dramtically, but the insult is that "wow, I guess they never really paid me any mind"

I think being overweight is a such a horrible stigma that people sheild themselves from really ever looking at you. I know my best friend or my family would NEVER not recognize me.

There are several men at work, who truly ignore me before and now they're always stopping by my office to "chat" (yeah yeah I know all about that issue too)

But I"m just coming to terms wiht how invisible I truly was, even when I was the largest person in the room.

I had that happen to me at work with another worker who i hadnt seen in quite a while . I tried to take the tact that hey I must be doing something right if they were that clueless as to who i was at first. I chose to take what positive there was from that situation and go with that. .......but I can say this , what peeves me more is the friends and acquantances who you run into and say nothing in reference to your weight loss at all. I cant help but think to myself afterwards , like are they being polite or are they oblivious?

sometimes I felt like that too, but when I think of the times I  did go up and down with my weight over the years, none of them ever came up to me when I was very big and say, MY haven't you gotten bigger since the last time.....so in a way I'm grateful for that...but I do understand what you are saying.....we have to be happy with ourselves...not let other people validate us..............ps. you look wonderful...................................................

I've had that happen and actually just as Dennis described.  I walked into a conference one day at work and the woman presenting was a woman I hadn't seen in a few years - let alone since surgery.  But she's one of those types that remembers people (by name none the less) extremely well.  I walked in and said "Hi Shirley" and she looked at me and said "until you spoke I had NO idea who you were!  You look PHENOMENAL"  I don't get insulted by it - looking back at my "fluffy" photos I understand why people who I haven't seen don't recognize me.  You bring up valid points and I hadn't thought of it that way before.

Be glad you are not recognized - it's all for good reasons!

Pam

it does not bother me really. I have enough to consider and worry about in life, and they just dont rank any space in my brain

I don't get offended at all. I actually think it's a compliment. Personally, for me, I went through alot with the surgery, worked hard, etc, so I didn't look they way I did before. I would be more offended if I didn't look different. But that's just me.

Plus as I've stated before, not being recognized is nice when you see people you don't feel like running in to.....LOL

I haven't had that happen to me yet... but then again... I'm kind of loud... so if they didn't realize it was me they figured it out really fast lol... but I think in a way it would bug me... and I have often wondered if people looked at me when I was super heavy or not... because of how they look at me now... which to me is some times freaky! lol...

Around the holidays we went to a local restaurant for breakfast - an old neighbor was in the restaurant I waved to him and he sort of looked at me blankly so I waved again, and then realized he had no idea who I was!! My husband was standing off to the side so our friend didn't see him at first so I told my husband to wave to him, then he realized who I was. I thought it was one of the best WOW moments and compliments I've ever had. This person is a super guy - grew up around us so he definitely knew me well. He was amazed at the transformation and kept telling me how great I looked.

Don't over-analyze these things - embrace them!