Need Advise

Okay so I have been at my new job for just about 3 months now and up until recently my boss left me alone. I like my boss he is a little goofy but a nice and understanding guy so far. Anyway the work I do for my new job is almost like a managerial position and all information is to be kept private and confidential. I am now sitting next to a woman who came into the company a month before I did. Anyway Monday (snow day) she could not show up for work so my boss was so busy running around since 35 people called out that day. I work in a call center with about 500 people so needless to say it was busy. So this woman tried to work from home remotely but only about 100 people from the whole company have remote access and this woman was not able to work from home as our computer locked her out and never let her in to finish her work. Anyway for some reason we started talking yesterday since I came to work about half and hour early and my boss was still not in and she decides to tell me how our boss is such a jerk as he is never there for her and told her that she would be docked for Monday since she did not show up for work. Anyway I don't know what happened but my boss pulled me into a conference room and basically asked me if this woman is harassing me and if she was "bad" mouthing him. Geez I felt like I was being interrogated by the Gestapo. I felt cornered and dragged into this "office politics" I have nothing to do with what is going on but apparently my boss proceeds to tell me that this woman has been telling a few select people/managers that she is not happy with my boss. My 90 days probation is over March 22nd but I feel so uncomfortable to be put in this position and my boss is going to be talking to this woman when she get back in office on Monday but I did not betray her trust I told my boss that whatever this woman told me was private conversation and she was just venting about what a crappy day Monday was for her. I don't know why I am involved in this and I don't know how to handle this. I now feel like there are spies everywhere and anything and everything that is overheard will be reported back to my boss. I am now so paranoid that I just kept my head down and ate my lunch outside not in company cafeteria. I just want to work and go home and not get involved in this BS. Sorry for the great American novel here but has anybody else experienced something like this?? And WHY OH WHY do these things always happen to me?? I am so upset and confused I feel like my work environment is now tainted and want to look for another job. I love what I do but I don't feel comfortable being in this department.

I would see if you could go to HR and see what the policy on stuff like that...

but I don't blame you for not wanting to get involved in that kind of crap... Hide and see if you can ride it out lol... ohhh take a book and read and eat at lunch... that way you can be anti social and someone will complain about that too lol... sorry my mom got yelled at that by her boss... she is an RN that maybe gets 30 mins... so she spent one lunch reading a book to pass some test thing she has to do every 2 years and got written up for being anti social at lunch lol...

I say.... to just stay to yourself. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to just go in, do your job and go home. Work is for work, not making friends. You can easily get along with co-workers without being too involved.

Being in a setting like that, it's hard to avoid alot of the politics. But I would just avoid all the crap I could. You can never escape it all but you can be proactive about avoiding common scenarios that would put you in that situation.

Sorry you have to deal with the drama. It's no fun! Good Luck monday.

I totally understand your desire to stay out of the politics.  It sucks to be drawn in like that.  Just lay low and avoid the petty B.S.  You did the right thing in telling your boss that the conversation was private. 

Hang in there.

Trish

You handled yourself wonderfully and as soon as they find out that you are not willing to get into being a spy or contributing to the office gossip/politics, they will more than likely just let you be.  Sometimes people look for allies in new hires, I know when I was new at my now ex-job, I had people try to drag me into things, I made some hard choices back then not to get involved and removed myself from situations where I was made uncomfortable.  It worked in my favor as I made many friends through the course of my years there.

Anyway, hope to see you later.

Hugs, Laureen

As all the other posters said, its terrible to be put into that position.  Your post reminded me of something my mother told me:  "she who will talk to you about others will talk about you to others".  I try to be polite to people like that and don't participate in the gripping. It makes your job that much harder and the environment less pleasant.  When your co-worker starts with the gripes, just politely change the subject.  Interupt her A few times saying:  "so...how bout those, Phillies, Eagles, Flyers , whatever and she'll get the idea you don't want to talk about that stuff.  For the truly clueless or self-involved souls you have to be very direct and tell them "I'm here to do my job, I want to get along; I take people as I find them I don't want to participate in gossip."

Now you can't tell me you didn't expect for me to not answer this one.  "Gee, I don't know what to tell you"  whenever you don't want to join in the ***** session.  I just keep saying this when I am at work because you can't get into trouble for what you don't say.  When I am at work I want to get along with my co-workers but they are my co-workers not my friends.  If I make a friend along the way thats fine and if not I earned a paycheck which leads to my being able to meet my financial committments. I would just tell my boss...gee I don't know what to tell you and that way he will get the message that you don't want to get involved or I usually say ...sorry you feel that way and that is that.  I am there to get a paycheck and tell everyone to have a great weekend and start over on Monday. You should not be made to feel bad for getting upset but I would also tell that coworker do me a favor excuse me I have work to do and she'll get the hint.  The bottom line is if she doesn't like the boss she needs to go to HR and let them take care of it.  Thats what HR is there for Just keep it professional with your co-workers smile and be polite and nothing can bite you in the butt .  Maybe your boss saw you and her talking and was trying to see that you are not being bothered by her.

It's not that it happens to "you" it happens in the world.  Their is gossip all around us.  The nursing field is FULL of it.  I mean - with the exception of a few guys it's mainly still a female dominated career and there's nothing like getting a bunch of women together and watching it "unfold"  Who can do what better who is a better nurse who complains who doesn't who is lazy who works to hard but not effectively omg I could write a book about it.

My best advice to you is A) if it happens with your boss again, tell him you don't know HOW you got involved but you aren't that type of person and choose not to play any political games within the company.  And if he has concerns about employees, than those employees need to be addressed directly and not attempt to address them via "preschoool" games such as getting other employees to "tattle" on each other.

That being said you also B)  have to tell the woman should she choose to talk to you about this again, that your boss has not done anything to you personally and although you have empathy for her situation, it is not in YOUR best interest to be involved in negative talking towards anyone.  And if she has that many concerns about your boss, inform her she needs to go to HR or to him directly to clear that up.

Chin up - stay quiet when others talk about each other - and speak up when they ask for your opinion stating that you are not there to judge others, nor do you judge others out in the "real" world, and you are simply not interested in this type of conversation.

Pam

Shilpa, I am a few days late reading your post and I see the other posters have already given you great advice.  Just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry you got put in the middle of all this and I think you handled yourself quite well.  Take the others' advice and don't get involved and I hope you will feel comfortable being in your department again because I know you love what you do. 

Hope you had a great time at the meeting on Saturday -- was thinking of you!

Lisa :)