Need Your help with My Dr, Brader Talk
Hey yal. Ok so Dr. Brader's nurse Wendy called me last month and asked if I would speak at their support group in March about WLS and its impact on relationships. I said hey no problem, I got someone to switch nights for me so I could be there. I figure support group is easy, relaxed. I even got Jason to agree to help me out since he has experience from the other side of things.
Well I spoke with her yesterday and she said last month they had over 100 people there.
I almost lost my mind. So my relaxed talk really needs to be more structured. I am using part of my clinicians training that talks about relationships. But I wanted to get some feedback from you all.
What is your advice on what to look for, what you have experienced that surprised you regarding relationships in your life?
What adivce do you have to keep them strong?
Love yal for helping me
Well I spoke with her yesterday and she said last month they had over 100 people there.
I almost lost my mind. So my relaxed talk really needs to be more structured. I am using part of my clinicians training that talks about relationships. But I wanted to get some feedback from you all.
What is your advice on what to look for, what you have experienced that surprised you regarding relationships in your life?
What adivce do you have to keep them strong?
Love yal for helping me
Oh Nicole you will be fabulous.. One thing I can think of about relationships of a less intimate nature was the line between curiosity and my defensiveness..like how much to share and then feeling defensive when people ( co workers etc. ) would question my choices. So while that was not family close friends, or intimate relationships..it should be touched upon.. Also the square boob bonding thats so fun.xooxoxo
I've gotta say the most important relationship you have/learn about through this is the relationship you have with yourself. You find out alot about what you are good at, what needs work, what you were hiding, and what you have found and if all that isn't explored, sifted through and secured then most things around you will topple or remain status quo, depending.
If you are looking for this surgery to fix a bad marriage or cure habitual insecurity, it won't do so. If there was a vivacious person inside waiting to come out, they will and there will be lots of changes and fallout; if you were always a shy person before, you will just be a thinner shy person. The rate of divorce after this procedure is far greater for us than the normal population.
Then again, look at all the folks that have taken career leaps, had the nerve to shed abusive spouses and move on, found motivation and inspiration to step out and do things they never would have tried otherwise. It's really an adventuresome journey ;-) Isn't that what LIFE is all about? My .02
Good Luck! You will be superb!!!
If you are looking for this surgery to fix a bad marriage or cure habitual insecurity, it won't do so. If there was a vivacious person inside waiting to come out, they will and there will be lots of changes and fallout; if you were always a shy person before, you will just be a thinner shy person. The rate of divorce after this procedure is far greater for us than the normal population.
Then again, look at all the folks that have taken career leaps, had the nerve to shed abusive spouses and move on, found motivation and inspiration to step out and do things they never would have tried otherwise. It's really an adventuresome journey ;-) Isn't that what LIFE is all about? My .02
Good Luck! You will be superb!!!
Jackie J. 
1 choice @ a time > 1 day @ a time. Slow to Succeed is still Success ;-)
Nicole you are going to do awesome!! Just as I opened this I was reading the mail and got a flyer about their group.
I agree with Jackie that the relationship you have with yourself does change dramatically.
I have found that my marriage is stronger now then ever. I was at a point when I had my surgery where I wasn't sure where we would be for my 1st surgiversary. Once we talked everything through I realized that Chris was just very worried about me - fear of the un-known. Now that he has embraced how much happier and healthier I am we are closer then ever.
As for my relationship with friends - I can't even begin to explain the WONDERFUL relationships that I have GAINED from having this surgery! WE truly are a group that is bonded in the most amazing of ways and it just continues to progress in awesome ways!
If you'd like you can practice on us saturday :)
*hugs* your gonna do great chickie!!
Liz
*sponge bob square boobs* gotta love it! lol I read that I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants -thanks Geri!
I agree with Jackie that the relationship you have with yourself does change dramatically.
I have found that my marriage is stronger now then ever. I was at a point when I had my surgery where I wasn't sure where we would be for my 1st surgiversary. Once we talked everything through I realized that Chris was just very worried about me - fear of the un-known. Now that he has embraced how much happier and healthier I am we are closer then ever.
As for my relationship with friends - I can't even begin to explain the WONDERFUL relationships that I have GAINED from having this surgery! WE truly are a group that is bonded in the most amazing of ways and it just continues to progress in awesome ways!
If you'd like you can practice on us saturday :)
*hugs* your gonna do great chickie!!
Liz
*sponge bob square boobs* gotta love it! lol I read that I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants -thanks Geri!
Havent you had any issues with friends or family?
I have to say I have been surprised by some of it.
My BFF in the world has been very stand offish about this whole thing.
She feigns support, but we just dont seem to be as close anymore.
Guess what she is still very heavy and not ready to change it.
My younger sister who was always the thin one, gets close to suicide when my sister or I come close to being smaller than her. She could care less that it is hurtful. She will tell me that she wants her eating buddy back.
There has got to be some things that have surprised you?
Advice for how you have salvaged relationships?
I have to say I have been surprised by some of it.
My BFF in the world has been very stand offish about this whole thing.
She feigns support, but we just dont seem to be as close anymore.
Guess what she is still very heavy and not ready to change it.
My younger sister who was always the thin one, gets close to suicide when my sister or I come close to being smaller than her. She could care less that it is hurtful. She will tell me that she wants her eating buddy back.
There has got to be some things that have surprised you?
Advice for how you have salvaged relationships?
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