I wonder...

Okay so my cousin who is my mom's sister's daugther just came into town for a short visit. Now I have not seen her in 6+ years and she could not recognize me. I did tell her over the phone that I had WLS but she just can't believe how much weight I have lost. Anyway she is staying with my sister for a couple of days so I went over to my sister's house yesterday after work and we had dinner at her house. To make a long story short my cousin started asking me about what my work out routine is and what my plans are to maintain my weight and all of a sudden my sister says "stop talking about your weight loss all the time" I wonder do I talk about my weight loss all the time. OR as my husband pointed out can she be JEALOUS?? I love my sister and she loves me and when I was Fluffy she never shamed me or made me feel like I had to lose the weight but lately I feel like she is really green with envy. I will give you an example she told me that she has a ton of clothes that she can give me when I got to be size 6/7 and now she makes no mention of "sharing" or donating her clothes. We shared everything growing up (grant it it was very briefly) because I was getting bigger and bigger every year but I can't help but think if my sister is not used to me being in the limelight so to speak. I was always the wall flower and now I have places to go people to see and she feel depressed for the 10lbs she is unable to lose. What is going on here?? Any insights or am I just CRAZY & DISLUSIONAL??

Is she jealous?  Probably. Is she not used to you being so outgoing?  Probably.  Is she not used to seeing you the way you appear right now?  Absolutely.  And do you talk about your weight loss all the time?  Perhaps.  I know indirectly I do.  From simple little things like "oh on my support group online we were talking about..." or "I need to have more protein today..." any little comments like that, to others, is "talking" about your weight loss "all the time"  Now - from the context of it - you were being ASKED by your cousin about info on your weight loss program - and in that I feel it was inappropriate for your sister to say what she did.  I think that is the jealousy part.

What the answer is, I'm not sure.  I'm not a big believer in tip toeing around conversations and family members, but at the same time, this could be a very sensitive subject for your sister, and perhaps ensuring you guys have meaningful conversations about other things may be helpful to.

Be proud of who you are, who you are becoming, and also who you have been.  Be proud of your daily actions, decisions, and your life time decision of committment to this lifestyle.  You have had lots of successful moments over the past year or so, and you are entitled to enjoy them, regardless of someone else's jealousy does not allow them to share in your joy.

Pam

Probably a bit of both.

It's hard not to be excited about losing weight. It is an overwhelming, positive feeling.

It's equally hard for some people to deal with change, especially when it makes them feel like they're losing the spotlight.

You're not crazy. Losing weight/food/exercise was ALL I talked about for a YEAR. That's not even an exaggeration. I don't know how my family and frinds put up with me.

It seems like you and your sister have a wonderful relationship. It might be helpful for you to make an effort to "turn down" you enthusiasm a little bit when you're aorund her. I'm sure she will appreciate it.

Sisters can be tough, no matter how close you are - my older sister and I are best friends and were always very fluffy together. We also both always talked about how we would never have WLS, but then I got beyond fluffy to full out FAT and knew I had to do something - it was a lot easier for me since she had moved to Florida. She and I rarely discuss my surgery, and if she does ask about my weight loss she tends to say things like 'well you must have lost 200 lbs by now' - well no, I haven't, and then I feel like maybe I'm not doing as well as I should. Funny how bad someone you love so much can make you feel at times.

Your sister is just struggling with the new you right now, as I know my sister struggles when she sees me - heck, the last time we were together I was sitting in my easy chair and crossed my legs and her comment to me was 'If you have hip replacement you couldn't do that' - huh? Where did that come from?

So hang in there - she loves you - she just has to have time to adjust to the new you - and so what if you talk about WLS all the time - it consumes us right now and talking about it helps us on our journey - if she doesn't like it then she can go to another room.

Kathy