OT ( I suppose)I'm confused with something my mom said

OK SO I had my parents and grandparents over last night for dinner, we revealed our newly uncovered hardwood floors and well we just hadn't had them over for a while. I have a very very close family.

Well after dinner I also announced to my Mom and Grandmother that Chris and I would like to start trying to have a baby in the fall. I thought that they would be excited, my Grandmother kind of was but my mom's comment got to me - she said "Shouldn't you work on getting healthy first and getting your stamina up?". Here I thought that I had - mean I've lost 135 pounds, I feel great - I am doing more then I ever had and feeling more confident. Chris and I are ecstatic about starting a family. My MOm and I are very close and her comment stung a bit. I know she has been through a lot lately so I didn't confront her about it. This winter has been very hard on me. I have bene catching every cold known to man but I don't feel that is WLS related - seems like everyone has been getting sick alot (thanks Chris! lol he brings everything home to me)

I just felt like I wanted to get this all out there to my WLS family and get it off my chest. I haven't told Chris because I know he'll get mad. sigh

Thanks for always listening!

Liz

Hi Liz, I think you and your husband should do what you think is right for you. Having a baby is the most wonderful thing in the world. I had 4 babies. Now they are 36, 33, 28 and my one and only son 25. When I had my first baby, (at 16, I know way to young) My mother was very mad...But , I showed her I was very responsable and I took control of my life, at this young age. I got married ay 17 and have been married going on 37 years. My mother wasn't happy again with me when I had my second child. I just told her that we decided to have children, that it was our life and not for her to judge.. We were both healthy and could afford to raise them...Mothers need to be protective of their children no matter what age they are.It's just our nature. I still catch myself, saying things to my kids, that I shouldn't. I just can't help it...Just don't let her change your mind on having children. They are beautiful.  Gods gift to us..     She will come around, you'll see.I love my grandchildren to death...I can spoil them and then send them home,,lol.  I wish you the best of luck...As long as you and your husband want this and you are both healthy, I say go ahead with your plans. Your mother will always want to be your BOSS!!! It's a "MOTHER" thing....Baby Wishes To You and Your Hubby!!!!!               Lucky

Lucky - Thanks so much! I am sure that you are right and she is just being "Mom". I am an only child, which I am sure doesn't help matters any either! lol I am 29 and hubby and I are in good health. We are stable meaning we own a house, both have good stable jobs. Mine which supports family above all else.

I am sure that it was just me being sensitive (I always am!)  I am sure that the day I tell her I am pregnant she will be estatic.

Thanks again!

Liz

oh Liz it never ceases to amaze me how people respond to that kind of announcement. I know you are ready, you have lost the weight, you have a plan etc. you do have more energy and such. She is your mom, she wants you to be ok. From an outside stand point, it does seem as if you have had a real rough year health wise. Ulcers, random pains in the tummy, the gallbladder. None of these at all makes you unable to get pregnant, but it does seem like you have battled a few health annoyances this year. she is seeing the forrest and you are seeing the tree.
If it continued to bother you, you could always ask her.
But i know she is just worried.
I hope any of this makes sense

Liz,
   Sometimes people come off sounding differently that what they mean to be saying.  My mom doesn't know how to express herself.  Your mom probably meant to say something like "Just make sure that you are healthy and feeling good because pregnancy makes you feel tired and is very difficult on your body. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you."  Well something like that is what she really meant to say!!!
  Good for you and good luck.  My girls are the best thing that I ever did.
Gail
 

I can imagine how that must have hurt, Liz.  And yes, it was probably mom just being mom - and that's the way you will be one day, too :)  Or so I am told.  And Nicole brings up a very good point - you have had one hell of a year as far as health related issues go - and as we all know - pregnancy is a huge strain on the body - as is parenting.  Do I think any of this poses a problem to you?  Not in the very least.  And yes, you are still run down a bit from the last issue you had - and perhaps that is just to fresh in her mind.  If you HAD confronted her....you could have said something like "It's not like I'm telling you I AM pregnant - things could take awhile..."  And if she continues to make comments, this will need to be discussed in great detail to get everyone on the same page, or at least understand this is yours and Chris' decision and it's ok.  If you need some "backing" I'm sure talking to Dr. Brader about everything and having him "clear" you for pregnancy couldn't hurt, either.

Anyway - I've rambled on enough :)  Have fun!

Pam

welcome to being a child, and always being a child...parents are like that.....they say things without thinking sometimes...not knowing how you feel inside and that it hurts you....but....they really do love you and only want  what is best for you....(this is giving them an excuse for hurting us)   lol...lol..but really it is your decision with your husband and you and him only are the ones who know when it is best to do in your family.............that is what marriage  is....you and him....I know it is hard to not to think about what our parents say, but they are parents, and as you will find when you guys are parents it will be hard to keep our opinions to ourselves......I will pray for you guys to be happy and I think you not telling him what they said is smart...he will want to protect you and will be upset that you are upset, so you are a woman.....to keep this from him is a blessing in itself...........we can handle crap like this...when our parents say things we wish they wouldn't ........"I know my mom and step dad live right next store......yek.............but they are days that I am so happy to have them there....others....well.......thats life.....   lol...lol... Good luck on whatever you and your husband decide.....and God Bless................(my husband and I were married when we were both older.....lol..lol..me 38 him 50, he had two children already, didn't want to start all over........now l8 years later he is sorry that he (and his mother) felt this way...lo...lol....I was mad at one time, but God is good, he knew what I needed, and it wasent' having chldren at this time, I was 3l7 pounds and probably wouldn't have made it, but now am 200 and am too old....57 now......lo.l....lo.....looking forward to seeing you at the next cooking class............love .....Lois

Thank You all for making me see the light instead of being blinded by it. This is exactly why I love you all!

I had put all of the "events" of the last year behind me - I try to only see where I am now. On the road to health and feeling good. Chris and I are ready to be parents although we won't be seriously trying until the fall, we are praying for a spring/summer baby.But as long as it is happy and healthy it can come whenever God feels is best!

Thanks again all - I do see now where my Mom was coming from. I am sure that she will be super happy the day I tell her I am pregnant - but she will always worry.

Love You all!

Liz

Hi Liz
 everyone is right. don't be to hard on Mom, She loves you and is only thinking of you. I know cause My daughter lives next dooor to me and I love her more then life & you will understand how Moms just come out with stuff it is not tohurt your feelings it is out of love for you. What your mom probably really wanted to say was you are doing wonderful and you just lost all of this weight and are getting yourself healthy and wanting to get pregnant you will gain weight and pregnancy takes a toll on your whole body. don't worry about the weight gain cause now you can just use your tool and lose it again
Good Luck to you & Chris
Hugs Susan

sometimes you just can't pick your parents lol...

I know I want to boot my mom right now lol...

but, I have had the same issue with the colds... and seem to be catching everything too.. hang in there... but you do what is best for Chris and you... I think once you are pregnant they will all be happy... but for now don't worry about it... just blow it off even though it hurts...