Why you should always have trash in your car.
So....who forgot to tell me about the snow today? 
I left work at 3:30 for a 4:00 allergy shot appointment. The roads were horrendous!! It took me an hour and a half to go what normally takes me only 20 minutes. If I wasn't creeping along in traffic at 5 miles an hour, I was sitting in it. There was an accident at one point that caused traffic to detour. I called the doctors office to tell them I would be late. No problem...I am patient (most of the time), so I was OK just waiting it out and getting to the office when I got there.
However, when I left my office, I had noticed the slightest twinge in my oh so strong bladder. I chose to ignore it, because, after all, it was ONLY a 20 minute drive. I had no idea at that point that the roads were going to be so bad. I had it in 4 wheel drive and I was still sliding all over the place (of course my back tires are bald, but that's another story...new tires should be in by the end of the week, so don't give me any grief 
) So....I am sitting in the car...creeping along...making up words to the songs on the radio....I tend to replace the real words with songs about my dogs (yes, crazy dog lady!!! But, hey...I create some great songs!....but I digress...back to the point of this post!) So, I start fantisizing about peeing....behind trees, in my tupperware from my lunch, in the handy dandy box thingy between the two front seats. I even unzippered my pants a few times, but talked myself out of it...there was a guy in a big truck behind me and who knew what he could see. Well, it got so bad I thought I was going to explode....so, in HG fashion, I said "f*ck it...who cares who sees what!" I took off my seat belt and my coat....got my very fine 24oz wawa coffee cup ready (good thing I don't throw things out right away!!), and dropped trow! Surprisingly easy to do in the front seat I might add! I even did it with my foot on the break, allowing myself to inch ahead with traffic. I shoved the cup under there...lined it up best I could...all while still controling the car....and my bladder FROZE ON ME.....what a time for preformance anxiety! Finally, I talked my bladder into relaxing and I am proud to say, I filled the whole damned 24 oz cup....there was some minor spillage but nothing to worry about...although, I will have to work on my aim a bit (you guys have it so damned easy!!). Ok...so now I am a happy girl. I put the lid back on the cup and started to pull everythng back into place. Ok....taking pants down is one thing...getting them back up is another....holy cow batman!!! And...getting them up without ramming into the car in front of you is a feat in itself (ok...I never thought to put the car in park...duhhhh) I could NOT get them back up....I am sitting in traffic with my underware and my jeans around my knees. Through much yanking and huffing and cursing...I got them back up to a point where I could no longer be arrested for public indecency. Not a minute after, the traffic opened up and we started moving at a decent pace....yippee!!
About 2 minutes later....I had to pee AGAIN!!! Geeze!!! Good thing I was close to the doctors office at that point...but I made a bee line for their potty as soon as I walked in the door. I am thinking I may invest in a box of depends to keep in the car for times like these...anyone want to split the price of a carton with me???
OK kids, so what is the moral of the story? ALWAYS HAVE TRASH IN YOUR CAR so you have something to pee in! 
Or....always pee BEFORE you leave the house/office/etc.....
Speaking of pee...i gotta go....so I am out of here!
HG
As always - thanks HG. I actually was laughing out loud on that one.
Oh - btw - another reason to use the potty BEFORE you leave the house...god forbid you are in an accident - the lap belt sits right over your bladder if worn properly...and in a sudden stop of an accident the pressure of the belt against your bladder can rupture it. And that would cause all your urine to go inside of you causing a big ol nasty infection that could kill you. And for those who believe your urine is sterile - I have a bridge for sale as well. Wives tales I tell you!!
So....keep trash in your car just in case....but use the potty before you leave.
Oh - another thought - I will be in a car with my father brother and husband for 8+ hours on Wednesday. I'm thinking the trash idea wouldn't work to well in that scenario!
Pam
