my kids food

My wife and I were not seeing eye to eye this evening.  

My 3 yr old son wanted to eat his brownie for dessert, but I wanted him to eat his dinner. We (he and I) fought for some time about it.  That lead to the Mrs. and I getting in to it.

She  believes to fight like that is counter productive. Her parents used to do it to her, and she feels it makes you eat  enough to get the dessert, thus consuming more calories.

he is healthy, and she feels that I shouldn't fight over it w/ him. There were plenty of skinny kids in school who ate nothing but chips and diet soda, whereas she was a fluffy girl, who ate her veggies....and her ice cream.


So what are you thoughts?

i think ultimately it depends on his metabolism as to whether or not he's even going to burn the extra calories he gets from eating dessert after eating his dinner.  i think the main issue really is the point you were trying to make.  you were trying to get your son to eat his food rather than junk.....food that would provide vitamins and energy to get his body to burn the calories he was consuming during the meal.  to just allow him to eat his brownie instead of his meal would be permitting him to fill himself up on something with a high fat content, and a high sugar content....which turns to fat eventually if not used in the body.

i'm sure your wife meant well, and it seemed as though her intentions were in the right place.  but, sometimes, when we try to protect our kids from going down the same road that we went on, we end up making things more difficult for us and them.  don't fight....be partners and compromise.

by the way....what was the outcome?  what did he end up eating?

 

Dessert was NEVER allowed in my house.  It didn't exist.  On rare very special occassions we were allowed to get dessert in a restaurant - oh boy.

And if we complained about what was for dinner, we were not set a place and we were not permitted to have anything else.  If we decided we WERE hungry for dinner, we had to bring a chair over to the cabinet, get out a place setting, set the table ourselves etc etc etc (no easy task for a 3 y/o I might add)

That being said, I still ended up weighing 235 pounds.

Now....do I think a child should be allowed to eat a brownie and not his dinner?  No.  If his thoughts on it are "the brownie or nothing" then nothing it is.

However...I don't know if you're wife and you disagreed in front of the child...but remember they figure out very quickly when they can "play" their parents against each other and when the one parent disagrees with the other parent.

Good luck!

Pam

"There were plenty of skinny kids in school who ate nothing but chips and diet soda, whereas she was a fluffy girl, who ate her veggies....and her ice cream."

That doesn`t mean they are or will be healthy with good habits. Under normal cir****tances why does he need desert? Make fruit of raw veggies the desert that he craves.

PS=she didn`t get fluffy eating vegetables

Well the outcome was the Brownie went into the trash (the three year old fished it out when I wasn't looking and ate a few bites-Yuck!)

In the end, I gave them SF Applesauce for dessert. My complaint was also, that I stopped and got some SF chocolates, and they got a SF cookie each, which they ate on the way home....and we went to the bank, and they got a lollipop. Then we sat down for dinner.....

As far as my wife being a fluffly girl who ate her veggies....and her ice cream...that paraphrases what she said...She used the F word. But she would eat whatever she needed to, in order to have dessert. So she would cram down a 600 calorie plus (her mom doesn't cook light), then eat a 400-600 calorie ice cream. Now she consumed 1200 calories.

First of all I am gonna get wupping for this one...I think that if you have a problem no matter what it should be your choice to discuss it with us although I can somewhat agree with Mary's comment and I am not trying to be rude.  Second of all do I agree that son should be allowed to eat the brownie before dinner of course not.  But I think and I'm being blunt here...you are trying to advoid your son being the next gastric patient and I am not trying to be funny.  As far as your wife...tread lightly with your comments about her being a fluffy girl because remember how you ended up here with us. I am trying desperately not to preach to my husband about his weight.  He is a big man and I am really scared for him so I do what I can and that means no cookies, cake, brownies, chips, junk foods of any kind.  If I don't bring it in the house it won't get eaten. I see your point about the brownie and the one thing I was told by others is do not let the children manlipulate you it makes hell on a marriage no matter what.  I have it when Heather gets told no thats it! Do not run to Daddy because mom will ground her butt.  Now my husband will say to her "what did Mom say" and if shes dumb enought to try to get either one of us to overrule the other one's decision she's is doo doo land.  I can see your point and Mary's . Keep the fluffy comments to yourself because you wouldn't want to be called that.  I hope we are still friend and you needed another woman's opinion because you discussed it with us and we are glad you did.

I don't know what Mary's response was as it has already been deleted - but Steve's wife is also a gastric bypass patient who also posts here....

Pam

Steve - I know food is all a HUGE issue with us post op. Seeing that you and your lovely wife have had the surgery - why would there even be a brownie in the house? TO me that is torture. My husband is a big guy but since my sugery he hasn't brought any of that crap in the house - my rule but he has loved me enough to respect that. IF he brings something into the house that would "tempt"  me he brings 1 serving and eats it right away. But with the kids you ahve the ultimate control! IF they don't know that there are brownies in the house they are perfectly happy with the applesauce or a sugar free treat.

I also know that post op emotiions tend to run high so I can't imagine that being on both sides of the equation. I would suggest that you and your wife talk, without the kids around, about what you think that their meal routine and diets should be. My husband and I have actually already started discussing that and I am not even pregnant yet - lol I know - I over plan everything!

Hope that this helps!!

Liz

BTW - you need to update that avatar photo! Isn't that a pre-op photo?

Ok, I'm going to put my head on the chopping board, but here are my thoughts. Given that the kids had several treats  earlier in the afternoon with you, I agree that the brownie should have been an after your meal treat only. That being said, just in general, I don't think that the world would end if on occasion, and I don't mean frequently, the kids could have a backwards meal of dessert first or just dessert and skip the meal. I think most meals should strive to be nutritious, balanced without much sugar or fat. ,but having a sweet treat every once in a while should take the obsessive power away from some foods that often leads to a lifetime of eating issues. I would also say that every car trip to stores or the mall should not be a given that sweets are a part of the deal.
Chris