My 2 year feflections (warning: I'm long winded!)

My 2 year reflections:

It's hard to comprehend the fact that I am now 2 years into my new life.  2 years ago today, I was nervously embarking on my WLS journey.  I was classified as morbidly obese.  I suffered from obstructive sleep apnea necessitating the wearing of that horrid C-PAP machine (which my husband and I nicknamed "Vorg" due to it making me appear as if I was an alien from another world!), hypertension barely controlled with drugs, pre-diabetes which I know deep in my heart was just a footstep away from the full blown disease, high cholestrol barely controlled with drugs, swollen and painful knees and ankles by the end of a full day at work, and the most embarrassing problem which was a painful, raw, smelly rash appearing between my legs up near my groin by the end of a 12 hour shift probably due to chronic friction caused by my huge thighs perspiring and rubbing together.     
I couldn't find clothes to fit....my size 24's were getting tight and I refused to go any higher size wise.  The clothes that did fit were boxy shapeless wonders.  I couldn't climb up the stairs without catching my breath.  I couldn't walk up the hill from the parking garage at work to the front door without working up a sweat even though I walked slower than everyone around me.  I couldn't fit into the one size fits all (including big husky men) disposable sterile cover suits that were required for entry into sterile procedure rooms at work.  I was miserable and had accepted that I would remain this way for the rest of my life.
Today:  all of the above is history.  I'm healthy.  I feel and look normal.   I'm no longer classified as morbidly obese.
I can keep up with the 20 somethings when walking up that hill to the hospital and not break a sweat or lose my breath.  I can RUN up a flight of stairs!!  I can't remember the last time my ankles and knees swelled up.  The disposable sterile cover suits are HUGE on me!!!!  Shopping for clothes is fun and continues to amaze me!
What still remains to be conquered:
For the past year, I've kept myself caught in a 5 pound revolving door between Onederland and Twoterville. My BMI is still in the obese range, but barely.  I've finally accepted the fact that I need to really, really pay attention to what goes into my mouth and when.  I feel hunger pangs again.  I continue to battle head hunger/emotional eating every day, every hour, every minute. 
My plans for my 3rd year:
OK.  Controversy here.  I need to shake things up with my sub-concious and portion control.  I need some structure that I can easily adapt to.  Just following the rules of the pouch left too much wiggle room for me with head hunger.  I had vowed when I entered this journey that I would never, never, enter that diet mentality again and I still intend on holding to that concept.  So, after much soul searching and self talking I decided that I would follow the WW plan on-line (no more meetings!  that would be too much diet mentality and not really address my needs as a WLS person) for the next 3 months.  My goal is not to lose weight WW style, but to regain portion control and to start some motivation for journaling my food intake.  For some sub-concious reason, having to figure out those point values has motivated me and given me a much needed kick start for journaling.  I've always been a lousy journaler.  I'll start journaling and see that when I journal I have a healthy eating pattern, so I start slacking on the journaling because "I know what I'm putting in my mouth" and journaling is a bit of a pain.  So, I'm now double journaling!  I keep track both on dailyplate and on the WW on-line site.  Its interesting to compare the 2 results in terms of points vs calories and protein intake.  Its holding my interest for now.  And the nice side effect is that I'm getting back to the Onderland side of the revolving door without driving myself crazy in the process.  So, maybe by the end of year 3,  I will be firmly planted in Onderland and far, far away from entering Twoterville.  I would really like to get my BMI out of the obese range and into the plain old overweight range.  But most of all, I don't want to be posting a help plea due to regaining....its a very scary reality that I can see happening all too easily.

Fabulous fabulous post.  I can relate to so much of what you wrote.

I think your plan for year 3 is a well set plan and addressing items you know need to be addressed before small problems become big problems (no pun intended)

You are such an inspiration to all of us here and have shown how to work the tool, year after year!

Congrats!

Pam

Absolutely amazing!!  Good for you and congratulations on two years of successing!!

HG

Congratulations on your 2 year surgiversary and all that you've accomplished - you've done an amazing job with your tool and your life. If joining WW on line gets you journaling and back on track with eating then I say go for it. I had to start journaling when I went thru my insurance requirements for WLS and for the most part have stuck to it (of course the holiday days are quite vacant!!). But I'm back to it now - it does help - at least it helps me.

You're going to kick Twoterville right off the charts! No more looking back or beating yourself up - you're doing great and I hve no doubt you will continue on that path to a healthier BMI and weight.

Congratulations again - and your post was great - nothing that good is ever too long!

Kathy

Wow, great post.  And congrats on all your success.  I think your plan for year 3 is right on target.  Good luck and be sure to keep us posted.

congrats and good for you
this is a journey and one that we need structure and support to stick with
if WW gives you that then go for it.
I like you am into year 3 and this is where the work really is, that is managing the true head hunger and learning permanent lifestyle changes. The weight doesnt just come off any more because i had the surgery. We are now fully in the drivers seat, Year 3 is the year to get our pilots license