When is "enough"....

Hi Everyone!

Over the holidays, I got a chance to see a lot of people I haven't seen in years.  Their reactions to my new size has been interesting.  Over the past week, I have received interesting comments - or maybe I am reading into them too much or maybe I am just way too sensitive.

"I can see you are waiting to buy new clothes until you are done losing all your weight."
"You need a make over."
"Yea, you have some time before you lose the rest of your weight."

Ok, first, do I really look that horrible in my clothes?  Or is this their way of paying me a compliment?  And after a loss of 225 pounds, how much more do you think I will lose?

I usually just let comments roll off my back because people are trying to be nice.  And I realize they are trying to be nice here as well.  The first reaction I had was, isn't 225 enough for you?  In my opinion, I am SOOO incredibly thankful and overjoyed with what the weight loss.  And I would still be sooo happy if I do not lose another pound.  I even wore an XL jacket last week and a L sweater (that ran large) a few days ago.  I AM GRATEFUL! I was a 7x. 

Thanks for letting me remind myself of gratitude on the boards!
Georgianne

I am sure that you look FAB!! 225 what an accomplishment!! I just think that people don't know how to react to our weight loss - and well unfortunately they do it poorly. Most of these people are used to seeing us "fluffy" and it takes them a while to catch up. I remember reading in an article when I first started researching WLS that a woman lost 100 pounds in a year. I thought it was a gimmick, like all of the other "Diet ads" i had seen in my life (and FELL FOR!) But then I lived it!

*hugs* you are doing a great job! Don't let the un-WLS educated get you down!!

Liz

We are used to mean comments or looks.  They seem to be easier to accept because we have been dealing with that most of our lives.  We are selfconscious.  I'm sure they mean things in a positive way but we unfortunately take the negative.   When people say my clothes just hang on me I think.....OMG do I look that unkept or ratty?  We have to stop being so hard on ourselves.  YOU are a fantastic person that has done an incredible thing! 

Diane

Envy is just as ugly as jealousy sometimes and those comments don't sound like they were done lovingly or as consructive criticism. But try to ignore them all the same - 225 lbs? That's amazing and incredible and we all know how hard you worked to lose every one of those pounds. And that might be their problem, too - people who don't understand this tend to think its the easy way out (I was one of those bad people a few years ago)..

I know how you feel about being grateful for what you've lost - I've lost 153 lbs and never, ever could have done it without WLS, and I am so grateful that it is gone forever. Sure, I want to lose some more - my BMI is still way too high but I also know that I'll never be a 'skinny' person, and I can live with that as well.

You enjoy every one of those pounds you've lost - and enjoy wearing new sizes - who cares if they run big - isn't it awesome to be able to go into stores and show now?!

You're doing great - enjoy the new you!!

Kathy

My responses?

"I can see you are waiting to buy new clothes until you are done losing all your weight." = Well that, or waiting until I hit the lottery.  Do you know how much money it costs to buy new clothes each time you change sizes from a size 7x to a size large???  I'd gladly get new clothes if you would finance it.

"You need a make over." = Funny, I thought a loss of 225 pounds WAS a make over.


"Yea, you have some time before you lose the rest of your weight."  = And I have the rest of my life to enjoy the weight I HAVE lost, and truly understand being happy where I am, right now, in this moment.

I've recently become annoyed with people's reactions (for the most part) and their ignorant comments.  I do take the time to try to educate them....and those who are willing to be educated, I have no problems with.  It's the others *****fuse to be educated for whatever reason that I don't have time for in my life, nor care what I say to them.

You have every right to be proud of soooo very much.  I hope I don't come off sounding like one of those ignorant people...but you lost as much I weighed at the start of my journey.  That thought brought tears to MY eyes...because my god woman, you OBVIOUSLY know how to work it and have done one hell of a job working your tool - and continue to be an inspiration to me and so many others on this board.

I don't know if any of this post helped you at all....but I hope you know how wonderful you are, how hard you have worked, and how much you deserve to enjoy every moment of your new life.

Pam

George, you know I love you to pieces and I think what (probably more so "how") those people said things to you was ignorant.   That being said, I hope you (and all us other losers) realize the truth.....   We have hidden ourselves away for years.  That's a fact.   We're so good at it most of the time we deny we even do it.   Part of this surgery is the coming out of our shells, psychologically and emotionally.   A pessimist tries to find fault with others.  An optimist looks at themselves first and tries to make improvements.   We all need to be optimists; we've been pessimists too long.   Maybe you are wearing clothes that hang and if so, go to Goodwill and buy some that fit or ask folks on the boards.  It will open your eyes to what you have accomplished when you see yourself in properly tailored clothing and a good bra.  It might also scare the hell out of you.  Maybe you do need a makeover.   Your face is way thinner than it used to be, perhaps a new haircut to highlight the new shape of your face or a new color to bring out your healthier glow.  Maybe you used to cover up whereas now you can highlight a jawline you never had or beautiful eyes that are bigger and brighter.   As for losing the rest of the weight, that's between you, your doc and your God.   Some say you will land when your body says so....not necessarily so.   Sometimes it is where your emotional self can deal.   Some people get real close to goal and it gives them a boost emotionally to get to the edge and beyond and some folks freak and go the other way (and it's real easy to do that too).   Not everyone makes goal but we are all better off healthwise for this journey.  This journey is one of constant re-evaluation of self.   It's finding yourself and being happy with yourself and your looks and when you are you won't be bothered by other people's comments.   Congrats on the L and the XL....that's Lovely and Xtra Lovely!!!     See less of ya next week!!

Thank you EVERYONE for your encouraging words and feedback.  They all mean a lot to me.

I guess this journey has been so much more to me than losing the pounds that it seems strange when I get those comments.  It is so much more than the physical.   Just like Jackie did say, it has affected us physically and emotionally.  Yes, the physical is very important.  The fat hurt a lot of us for a lifetime.  I see this WLS as putting the food in its place so that we can be who we are meant to be... whatever that is.

I love it when people ask.. "How do you feel?".  It takes it beyond the physical  - beyond the fat - beyond the dress - beyond my appearance.  I am so much more than what my face and body might say.

Ahh.. more ranting.  lol
Georgianne