Is there such a thing as too thin??

Hi Everyone,
I have now lost about 90 pounds since the surgery 100 pre-surgery but lately my family and friends have been telling me that I look too skinny I mean on the verge of being anorexic. My cousin who has never weighed more than 95 pounds says to me that if your ribs are showing thru your chest wall that is pretty bad. Is this true?? My goal was to lose another 10 pounds but at the last Barix meeting I did confess that if I never lose another pound it would be okay and it really is okay but Dr P did says that 100 pounds is what I had to lose to have a normal BMI and my BMI is 25 currently still overweight. How do I explain this to my concerned family and friends?? I know that they are just concerned and want what is best for me but now I am confused even my husband says that he is getting concerned because certain body parts are not what they used to be. Ladies you know which parts he means. LOL..MEN but seriously any advise you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

Yes, there is such a thing as too thin, but I saw you at the last Barix meeting and I thought you looked very healthy.  If you were a BMI of 15 rather than 25 I would say that is unhealthy.  People are still adjusting to the new you. 95 pounds is a drastic change in a relatively short amount of time.  Go by what you think and how you feel and with what Dr. P is telling you...let everyone else keep their concerns. 

I agree with Heather that it is possible for someone to become too thin. I also think that many people tend to focus on WLS patients because they are so misinformed about our surgery and post op lives . We already have a dark cloud hanging above us that is filled with misconceptions so add what they consider to be excessive weight loss into the mix and it only makes matters worse.

Little story for you and maybe this will help.....I'm going through the same thing with certain members of my family. I saw my sister for the first time in a long time for christmas and I spent almost 2 days having everything I ate analyzed, being lectured on being too thin and how I should gain some weight, blah, blah blah. After a while, I finally had enough and told her kindly but firmly that while I appreciated her concern, she needed to accept the fact that I am no longer her 386 lb little sister. I also told her that I did not want to see her sick with worry so if it would ease her mind then I would hop on her scale so she could see for herself what I weigh and then we could go online together and check the BMI charts as well as the weight charts so she could see that I am in fact in the healthy range for my height, age and activity level. I told her that I'm still getting used to seeing myself as thin so I understand that it's going to take her some time to get used to it as well. I then gave her a big hug and said thank you for loving me so much and worrying about me but I'm doing just fine and I promise that if anything happens and I begin to fall below my healthy weight range, I will follow up with my doctor to make sure everything is ok....Well, after 2 days, she finally stopped harping on me, hugged me back and said "You're probably right. I'm just not used to seeing you like this. I'm your big sister and I'm always going to worry but as long as I know you'll get yourself checked if anything does happen then there's no need to keep talking to you about it"

Maybe something along those lines will help??? Get a weight chart/BMI chart from your doctor or print one from the internet so that they can see it with their own eyes that you are not underweight. Explain to them that you are under the care of a doctor who if there was a problem with your current weight, would be the first person to address the issue with you. Ask your husband to come with you to your next appointment so he can talk to the Dr. P himself about the concerns he's having. No matter what you do or say though, I'm certain that they're still going to worry which is normal. Just be sure they know that you appreciate their concern and hopefully as more time passes and they get used to seeing the new you, they'll realize you're doing ok and that there's nothing to be concerned about.

***HIJACK (sort of)***

What an absolutely lovely and informative way to deal with this sort of response from people.  I am inspired and impressed.  I still have a way to go but I actually did get my very "first" comment of this genre "Oooo, now you'll be able to stop losing, you don't want to lose too much right?"  LOL.  Thanks for posting this response, it's a beautiful way to deal with this sort of thing.

Keri

Thanks Keri! You're too sweet!

I was just soooooo tired of wasting all this time and energy arguing with people over and over again about it so I figured what better way to get my point across then to offer a bit of cold hard evidence. I have to admit though that the other person will usually feel a little, I guess you could say "embarrassed" of their behavior when I offer to jump on the scale for them. But this has been working very well for me. Feel free to use it since you like it so much! LOL..Maybe it will help you too!

i will TOTALLY be using it!!!  and it's sort of like when people thought the world was flat.  they were convinced.  they were sure.  until it was "proven" that it wasn't.  flat.  but round.  :0)  i just wanted you to know that i appreciate your approach and find it inspirational.

k

EXACTLY!! Great analogy!

I'm glad you find it inspirational and appreciate the way I handle it. For me, it's much better than stressing myself out or arguing with people. I go straight to the facts and it always works out well.

Have a great day!

Oh and btw, I see you're going to try and make it Liz's house for the January cook-a-thon. I'll be there this time barring any plumbing problems so I look forward to meeting you finally!! See you on the 17th!

I'm looking forward to meeting you too!  Have a great few weeks until then.

Hey Girl

You do not look too thin.  You look fabulous.  People are not used to seeing us at normal sizes.  Are you comfortable at this weight?  I'd focus on maintaining and if you lose some more, that's OK too.   

Happy New Year to you!

arlene 

while I haven't ever met you in person... maybe if you add muscle to those "boney" areas they will leave you alone hehehe... but have seen some people that did that and it make a big difference in what people said to them about being "too skinny"... good luck hun!