Christmas Eve outfit...
"I can't help but feel self conscious! Anyone else feel this way?"
You're preaching to the choir sista! Selfconciousness is the....wait a second, is that even a real word? I'm pretty sure it is but if it's not then we'll just pretend it is for today ok? Anyways, it's the story of my life.
There's not a single day that I walk out of this house and think "wow, I really look nice in this outfit" or don't think someone is going to start judging how I'm dressed or how I look. John can tell me how lovely I look 50 times a day and even though I appreciate his sweet words, he's my husband so it's different. Of course he's going to say I look good. He values his life entirely too much to tell me I look bad! LOL! I'm kidding of course but I'm afraid of what the rest of the world is going to see and think....Does my a$$ look f-a-t in these jeans? Is anyone going to be able to tell I have loose skin? Are my thighs jiggling or even IS MY WONDER BRA WORKING??!! All legitimate concerns for someone like me..like us. We spent sooooo many years HAVING to be self conscious because a majority of society didn't accept the way we looked when we were fluffy. People stared, people pointed, and sadly enough there were people who even laughed at us or were disgusted by us. Maybe not to our faces but they did it. Now the weight is gone and although we have no longer have a reason to be self conscious, we still are and some more than others because it takes a looooooong time to overcome those feelings. They're not easily forgotten.
Another reason for me feeling self conscious all the time and maybe you feel the same way, I don't know but it's the clothes I'm wearing. I'm finally able to wear fashionable clothes, the same clothes all the cool kids are wearing..lol. Let's face it, some of those clothes from Lane Bryant or The Avenue are NOT the most fashionable and some are just down right ugly and hideous. But, we had no choice in the matter, it's what we HAD to wear. But now we have so many more choices other than tops and skirts that look like they could be some of Aunt Ethel's old tablecloths that were stored up in the attic and it takes time to get used to that as well. It's sort of like when someone decides to go from having hair down to their waist which everyone is used to seeing for the last 10 years and then all of a sudden they have a pixie cut. They look great, everyone tells them they look great, but it's such a drastic difference that they're second guessing how they loo****il they get used to it themselves. Make any sense? I sure hope so. I know I've been long winded here and I'm really sorry. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone in the way you feel and why, well my "why's" anyway..It's going to take some time for us to be able to do away with those feelings and accept all these changes but in the mean time, I hope this helps. I've had the pleasure of your company a few times and you have always looked great in what you were wearing and that's just seeing you in jeans and a plain shirt, nothing fancy There's no doubt in my mind that you look absolutely wonderful today being dressed up for the holidays! Plus, take this into consideration too, it's not always easy for men to give compliments so if Chris, husband or not, is saying that you look great and the guys at work said you look great then you know....YOU LOOK GREAT!! So enjoy the ooh's and ahh's and savor each and every compliment today and every day, you deserve them!! Big Hugs!!
You're preaching to the choir sista! Selfconciousness is the....wait a second, is that even a real word? I'm pretty sure it is but if it's not then we'll just pretend it is for today ok? Anyways, it's the story of my life.
There's not a single day that I walk out of this house and think "wow, I really look nice in this outfit" or don't think someone is going to start judging how I'm dressed or how I look. John can tell me how lovely I look 50 times a day and even though I appreciate his sweet words, he's my husband so it's different. Of course he's going to say I look good. He values his life entirely too much to tell me I look bad! LOL! I'm kidding of course but I'm afraid of what the rest of the world is going to see and think....Does my a$$ look f-a-t in these jeans? Is anyone going to be able to tell I have loose skin? Are my thighs jiggling or even IS MY WONDER BRA WORKING??!! All legitimate concerns for someone like me..like us. We spent sooooo many years HAVING to be self conscious because a majority of society didn't accept the way we looked when we were fluffy. People stared, people pointed, and sadly enough there were people who even laughed at us or were disgusted by us. Maybe not to our faces but they did it. Now the weight is gone and although we have no longer have a reason to be self conscious, we still are and some more than others because it takes a looooooong time to overcome those feelings. They're not easily forgotten.
Another reason for me feeling self conscious all the time and maybe you feel the same way, I don't know but it's the clothes I'm wearing. I'm finally able to wear fashionable clothes, the same clothes all the cool kids are wearing..lol. Let's face it, some of those clothes from Lane Bryant or The Avenue are NOT the most fashionable and some are just down right ugly and hideous. But, we had no choice in the matter, it's what we HAD to wear. But now we have so many more choices other than tops and skirts that look like they could be some of Aunt Ethel's old tablecloths that were stored up in the attic and it takes time to get used to that as well. It's sort of like when someone decides to go from having hair down to their waist which everyone is used to seeing for the last 10 years and then all of a sudden they have a pixie cut. They look great, everyone tells them they look great, but it's such a drastic difference that they're second guessing how they loo****il they get used to it themselves. Make any sense? I sure hope so. I know I've been long winded here and I'm really sorry. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone in the way you feel and why, well my "why's" anyway..It's going to take some time for us to be able to do away with those feelings and accept all these changes but in the mean time, I hope this helps. I've had the pleasure of your company a few times and you have always looked great in what you were wearing and that's just seeing you in jeans and a plain shirt, nothing fancy There's no doubt in my mind that you look absolutely wonderful today being dressed up for the holidays! Plus, take this into consideration too, it's not always easy for men to give compliments so if Chris, husband or not, is saying that you look great and the guys at work said you look great then you know....YOU LOOK GREAT!! So enjoy the ooh's and ahh's and savor each and every compliment today and every day, you deserve them!! Big Hugs!!
Val - Thanks so much and *big hugs back* I think that you hit the nail right on the head! I did get this top in the misses dept. and it is a bit more "modern" then what I would have ever worn at my fluffiest.
Thanks so much for the kind words and encouragement! Hope you and JOhn can make it to the January meeting! It's been too long!
Liz
Thanks so much for the kind words and encouragement! Hope you and JOhn can make it to the January meeting! It's been too long!
Liz
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