First WOW's Are Kinda Weird

Tomorrow it will be 4 weeks since surgery.  Its been a roller coaster.  I'm starting to have WOW moments but my reaction to them has been kinda weird.   I've never been the kinda person that liked compliments and I think that is partially my problem.  Growing up I was always fat and my sisters took every oppertunity to make fun of me.

The other day I was shopping and I saw someone I haddn't seen in years looking at me and trying to figure out who I was.   I just walked past them because I wasnt feeling to chatty.  Later they came up to me and said.. I KNEW I Knew you!   She asked me if I was doing ok.  I said I was fine.  She said.. Are you sure?  She asked if I was having medical problems.  She said.. Dont get me wrong.  You look good.  But what have you lost?  200lbs???  I had almost become unrecognizable to her she said.  To me that was an insult.  I thought.... Did I look that big before?

Also at work people say... You are melting away..  Your clothes just HANG on you.  I feel uncomfortable and messy when they say that.   I can't buy new clothes all the time because I change size from week to week.   They say they understand.  They just were commenting on the loss.

Speaking of loss.. I went shopping today.  We have a work Christmas party tonight.   I had to get new pants so I don't feel so messy.   I bought a size 16 and they are a little big!  I was a 22-24 at surgery!!!

Does anyone else have this mixed feelings over WOW moments?

Diane

I find so many people just don't know what to say especially if they've never been overweight before themselves. Some of the compliments I've gotten like yours have been so backhanded like "you are less wide." Uhhh thanks. Then others say nothing at all because they don't know know how to compliment or think you will be offended if they bring it up.

Don't you love buying smaller sizes? It feels awesome. Just think that when people act silly. =)

Let's face it, the most compliments we ever received before were back-handed ones, like 'you have such a pretty face...' - stuff like that. And we're used to trying to fade into the background so we're not noticed for our size, and now that people are noticing us it is a bit disconcerting at times, but also I think pretty wonderful, too.

Relax and accept the compliments as they come - smile and say thank you, even if they aren't the 'best' compliments.

And have a great time shopping! It is thrilling to try on pants or tops only to have to go out and find a SMALLER size for a change, isn't it! I just bought a new outfit for my work holiday party and I can't wait to wear it!!

Prepare yourself and your mind for lots more compliments (and comments) to come your way - it will get easier and you won't feel as self-conscious when receiving them.

Kathy

hey do you have a lane bryant outlet by you? last night we did price changes and some capris and shirts got marked down to 4.50 and they are 50% off... so that is 2.25... and i totally get money tight and buying clothes...

but when people give me "compliments" like that I don't take them as such because a lot of times they are rude... to me they should sound happy and be happy for us...

Hijack--- Shannon, which LB outlet do you work at?  On Sunday, I was at the LB outlet at Reading China and Glass- got some great deals!

I should of been at work that day... i was on-call but had to call the day before and told them I couldn't work because a woman at the gym went to her car and never came back... so I had to work...

I'm going to Reading again this weekend, and I might be stopping past your LBO, maybe I will see you....

well i am to work on thurs night... but i am going to call them today because i have lost my voice... can't sell clothes if I can't talk lol... and I am going to have Jeremy do it because i cant talk lol... should be interesting... plus I needa night off to rest lol... I have no idea the next time I work there... but I will be at the gym on Saturday hehehe...

Your reaction to those comments are totally normal.  I have been maintaining my weight for about 2 mos now...and still people that I see (on a somewhat regular basis I might add) continue to say "when are you going to stop losing weight?"  Well...I stopped 2 mos ago.  They actually argue the point with me.  I don't like it...but also understand that my mind has a lot of catching up to do with my new body - and their minds, too.  They have known me long enough to only recognize me as one size...and the new me hasn't been 'cemented' in their minds yet.

Also....yes, the clothes thing gets a little "old" too.  We understand not being able to buy clothes all the time.  I would generally skip 2-4 sizes at a time.  Meaning I would wear my 20's until I simply couldn't any more...and by the time I went shopping I would be a size 14 or so.  Just buy one or two things (like a pair of jeans or two) and nothing more and buy them snug.  It's a weird feeling to buy things snug....but that way you get a little longer wear out of them.  Check out thrift stores, too where you don't have to spend as much.

The WOW moments will be celebrated - but these wow moments can be hard to take this early out, too.

Pam

Hi Diane,
Yes it is all pretty weird. Compliments? Us?
Yes folks ARE giving us compliments, good well intentioned compliments most of the time. Sometimes they don't know what to say and we don't know how to take the good ones.
Just say thank you. Thank You. That's new for us too. Feel good that you are changing and it is being noticed, and believe it b/c it's true.

Dennis