Need to vent about my mom...

When I was in college (sometime between 92 and 97) my mom was told she was type 2... she is a cardic RN so she knew that she had to the right stuff or deal with issues later in life... well she didn't... she is an emontial eater, worrier, won't let go of past issues etc... and all of these things makes her eat bad things... you know a whole bag of oreos etc... she really does let food control her life... I told Jeremy that I never understood my mom with a lot of these things because I wasn't that way.... I could walk away from foods... my issue was never being hungery and then over eat when I was... and I was forced a lot to eat when I wasn't hungry as well... but dealt with that once I got into jr. high...

Well, today she had to go to the eye doc and was told that she will have to go on insulin because there is some bleeding in her eyes... I have tried to gently point out some helpful tips that I have learned along my way... and I know unless she is willing to make the changes she won't... but my lord she is just being plain down right stupid... and I want to smack her over the head with a skillet lol... sorry needed to get that off my chest and it is a good thing they live 12 hours away lol...

So, thanks for letting me vent... I needed that... ahhh feel so much better... also please pray for her since she is being stupid... and if any of you have some tips for food ideas since she is a nurse (and doesn't get to eat when she needs too)...

Thanks!

Shannon I feel your pain. My mom has type 2 and does not take care of herself.
She has always had a weight problem and I am sure half my food issues come from her.
She wont eat then she will eat crackers and SF popscicles. The last time I was down there
she ate 12 ST popscicles and nothing else. I told her just because it is SF does not make it diet food. She has gained more and more weight, she hides candy and drinks tons of coffee and diet mountain dew daily.
We are so worried that we will be the ones to have to take care of her when the complications start and they will. Hang in there. It is a hard thing to deal with

I know that my mom needs someone to talk to because I am pretty sure she has some form of depression and a few other things/issues she needs to work through... but again she won't do it... argh... maybe I will send her down to you the next time she is in the area lol... because I know that if she would work through these issues (most are because of her parents) I know a lot of her eating issues would start to get better...

lordy LOL

It hurts us to see the ones we love not do what they need to do.

As far as being a nurse and not being able to eat when she needs to...totally understand that one!  I pack a lot of things I can eat "in a pinch" like cheese sticks and my yogurts and protein bars or what have you.  I can take one of them out and eat it almost no matter how busy I am.  Granted - even with those "fail safes" in place I still have nights where eating is simply not an option.  Just getting into the back room to grab the cheese stick is a challenge.  And then there are situations where you are literally in a patients room for four hours....and you can't exactly have food in a patients room.

Good luck to her!

Pam

Well she carries bars with her... but not the good ones (well I don't think they are good for ya lol)... and she doesn't seem to like the protein bars... she won't carry a cheese stick with her because she thinks that is gross... what is the diff between melted cheese and a warm cheese stick lol... I also told her there are lots of great nuke-able lunches in the freezer section... and then complaind about the price... well they are cheaper in Indiana than out here... lol... wanted to smack her for that one lol...

It seems when she works her blood sugars are in the normal range... but just barely because they are very low end of that... like too low... but when she is off... they are high because she can eat...

I just don't understand how a hospital can let one of their own with type 2 can't eat at their lunch time... most days she never gets to eat... great way to get your employee in the hospital but as a patient... but the pregnant nurses ALWAYS get to eat when they need too... how is that right lol...

but let me know if you think of anything else as a great food idea...

I keep the cheesesticks in the fridge in the back.  I can *generally* get into the back to grab it out of the fridge when I am ready to it eat.

Snack bags of healthier granolas or trail mix is also an option.  It's easy to keep a small lunch bag out on the desk or whatever to grab a handful as you are walking to a patients room or what have you.

Also...about not getting to eat when she needs to...I found that i had to be very proactive and not just "allow" myself to for go food.  I have found once I became proactive in eating, and stood up for myself...then it was ok.  I don't insist on taking an actual break because the nature of the beast is that you can't.  However...I do make sure when I can that I go and grab my food and put at the desk or in a drawer or what have you.  It's a common theme among nurses to put themselves last....and it's a hard habit to break

Pam

It is so hard to watch family members do self-defeating behaviors, especially when it involves health issues.  I have had to watch a son deal with addictions, just to switch to alcohol, and a sister battle her overeating.  I have had my demons as well, I just have been able to hide them better since my divorce.   Fortunately, I have a great family doctor who gave me a "Come to Jesus" talk when he diagnosed me as being pre-diabetic.  I also have a great GYN doc who would gently say "You know, they are doing great things with weight loss surgery now," every time I had my annual exam. 

What really helped me was being in therapy for years.  My therapist takes no prisoners.  He shoots from the hip, and makes things crystal clear and never lets me hide from the truth about myself.

The best we can do is pray for our family members and hope that someone confronts them with the truth.

Hugs,
Trish

Hi Shannon - sorry to hear these things about your mom, but I'm happy to know that you aren't going to follow in her footsteps and you are taking measures to insure you live a long, happy, healthy life not only for yourself but for Jeremy and Lore, too.

My mom has lived with us for 17 years - for the first 14 she was independent, drove, worked, etc. Then she retired fully and got sick - first uterin cancer, then lung cancer. My mom has smoked for 40+ years - she stopped while she was in the hospital and undergoing chemo and radiation both times, but both times she went back to her crutch, the cigs.

My mom has inoperable lung cancer and has actually done well with it, and on top of that has COPD and asthma - she started smoking again this year and now her breathing is horrible, she wheezes like crazy and is becoming weaker all the time. And she's on oxygen 24/7 which means she has to take it off to go outside to smoke.

Does it drive me crazy? Absolutely - because I find myself having to do more and more for her all the time and its very difficult since I work full time. But if she won't quit smoking for herself and her own health she sure as heck won't quit for me. My siblings say 'she's 78 and has cancer - let her smoke if she wants to' - well, they're not the ones here who have to sit with her in the hospital when she has pnemonia or other complications or listen to her horrible cough.

You're not alone in this - you can only help your mom through her tough times, but you sure can't control what she does.

Hang in there - we're all out here for each other.

Kathy

I feel your pain and hope things get better.  It's soooo hard as our parents are getting older.
Take good care of yourself even when your dealing with this emotionally.