Update on Mom

Okay so everybody knows about what is going on with my mom. I just came from the hospital and you know what I headed everybody's advised and distanced myself from my mom's situation regarding her diagnosis of major depression with psychosis. My mom is coming along but she is not 100% and she is in a good place. They are very nice there and have been treating her kindly. I do still feel a tiny bit guilty when I leave her there because in her moment of lucidity she tells me that her family dumped her there meaning myself, my sister and my dad. I refuse to be hurt because I know that is not my mom talking she would never say anything like that if she was well. I hope someday she realizes that this was not an easy decision for us as a family. In the meanwhile I can't cry anymore as I am so emotionally drained so I just am not going to do that to myself. Anyway as most of you know I attended Dr Pupkova's Pre-Op seminar last night and I got to share my experience and journey with others considering WLS. First of all the staff gave me flowers by Daniel they are there exotic assortment of lilies and other flowers I don't even know the names of but they are absolutely beautiful. The patient had so many question and concerns about weather to get this surgery or not and it felt so good sharing my own experience. I could see myself in their faces as they were sitting there and contemplating this surgery. I am so glad I got to do that I showed them my before picture and there was a collective gasp from so many of them. They just could not believe it. Helene the Barix Nut was there as well and she is so nice too and Dr Pupkova what can you say about the woman she just makes me feel so good everytime I see her. Sorry for going on and on but I just wanted to thank everyone who gave me good advise on how to handle this situation with my mom. Big Thank You to my OH friend you are like my family.

Take comfort in knowing that your mom is in the best place for her right now and that she's getting the best possible care she can - its probably not something you and your family could have done, no matter how much you love her. Treat it as tho she was in for some other physical disease, not mental - and you would want her where she was getting the best treatment for that, right? You should only feel guilt if you didn't do what was right by her - so no more guilt, starting now.

I'm glad your session at Barix went so well and that was so sweet of them to give you the flowers! That is the best place around  - no doubt about it.

I wish there had been someone there like you when I went for my initial consult last year - it was one thing to have the surgeon, nurses and nuts talk to us, but I think it would have made a world of difference to have an actual patient there to tell us everything - the pros, the cons, the ups, the downs - I still had my surgery - but I think it would have been comforting to hear someone talk who had actually gone thru it.

Take care - your mom is going to be fine, and so are you...still sending prayers your way.

Kathy

Shilpa,

My prayers are for you and your family to get through this hard time, and for your Mom to get healed through her current treatments.  I know from personal experience with someone who was close to me, how difficult it can be to deal with mental illness.  Happy to hear that you are not owning the guilt that your Mom, in her current state, is trying to give out.

Certainly sounds as though you had a very positive experience with the seminar and that is wonderful; good for you, isn't it wonderful when we can give others reassurance from the vantage point of one who has been there and has moved in a forward direction, such as you have.  You've done great, so be proud of your "successing" ways!

Hugs, Laureen

Everything sounds like it is going as well as to be expected - and I understand the not being able to cry anymore.  I have been there myself.

The pre op group sounded great - and I'm so glad you got to share your experiences like that - it was a wonderful opportunity not only for you, but for all the possible patients you helped with your story.  Congratulations!

Pam

Shilpa,

I'm glad that you had a really nice moment at Barix, especially with everything going on with your mom.  I just want you to know that I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers and I wish the best for your mom.

Take care.

Same here Shilpa.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I hope each day is better then the day before.  The pre-op seminar sounds like it was meant to be for you. What great timing!  That was so thoughtful of them to give you the flowers.  It must feel good knowing you have helped some of these people.  We have all been there before (mixed emotions about the surgery) and it's all about the support we get (or give in your case).  Can you just imagine how Dr. P must feel knowing she has given so many of us our lives back.!  She is one special lady!!!!!!
Take care of yourself!
Michele

Shilpa,
I am glad to hear that your mom is improving. Everyone is right - she is where she needs to
be and you feeling guilty will not help anyone. 
That was wonderful that you were the star at the seminar.
You should be so proud of yourself that you can now help others on their
journey.
Tammy

Shilpa - Glad to hear that your mom is doing better. Still keeping you and your family in my thoughts.