panic attacks, anxiety and upset stomachs - oh my!

OK - so on friday afternoon my boss told me to meet him at the office at 6am monday he wants me to go see a customer with him that is un-happy. Well starting friday and going all weekend I was so anxious I was having panic attacks about this stupid meeting. So I xaxax up and try and get through - last night  I couldn't sleep (even medicated) and was up all night - this morning it turns into nausea, vomiting and diarreah (TMI I know) now I took a WHOLE xaxax this morning ( usually just take 1/2 in a "crisis" situation) but it didn't seem to touch it - my boss could tell something was wrong and I told him that I was having "stomach issues" from something I ate last night. So he let me stay behind. Now I still have to go meet with one of my own customers in NJ later this morning (as long as I am feeling better) but geez oh man! I can't live like this! I am almost in tears sitting at my desk and was crying at some points over night and this morning. I was on Lexapro - maybe it is time to go back on it.... Maybe I should see a physciatrist - maybe I need a rubber room! I'm not depressed infact I am very happy! Lots of positive things going on in my life - just un-believeably anxious.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for always being there for me

Liz

Liz,

I'm soooooooo sorry you have to be going through that.  I've come close to having a panic attack, at least I think I did.  I couldn't breathe and basically was hyperventilating.  Don't know if that's a panick attack, but whatever it was it was hell.

Just take a really deep breath and try to calm yourself down.  You seem to handle things well, maybe it's just hormones.  Is that time of the month coming???  Could be that kind of thing going on.  Whatever it is, you'll be fine.  I don't have any "doctor" suggestions....and especially if you're saying you're happy.  I'm sure everything will work out.  Just take it easy.

Good luck.

Karen - Thank you. I have been practicing with the deep breathing and telling myself "you're ok - calm down" and sometimes it helps - other times it doesn't.

Nope... not that time of the month - just got over it mid-last week.

Now I did loose approx 14 more pounds so maybe there were a lot of hormones in there floating around and it is all hitting now... I dunno - if it continues I'll call some kind of Dr lol

Thanks again
Liz

Liz, I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this!!!  I think that after surgery when we can't "medicate" with food anymore areas of weakness seem to be more magnified to us because of our emotional reaction.  I can certaintly understand wanting to avoid any kind of "confrontation."  I don't know about the meds as only you can decide if that's a path that will help you (it sure does me!).  But I can say that having a therapist who specializes or utilizes cognitive behavioral therapy is a HUGE help.  Basically as we grow up and live life we build a library of mental tapes that we play based on our experience.  For me one is "Confrontation is scary, avoid it at all costs, even your health."  Therefore I "swallow" my feelings (with the help of food most times) and don't talk about "tough" subjects.  This has made me not learn how to kindly share how I am feeling if I feel it will lead to confrontation (work, personal life and at school).  Since the surgery this has all been hitting me in the face big time because I am now aware of how after an interaction I choose not to go "stuff" how I feel with food.  This has given my a lot of anxiety at work because I feel scared of all of those feelings and am afraid of what might occur if I "say" anything.  Obviously I'm at work so it might not be the best place to let my assertiveness "rip" - I do have a mortgage and bills to pay.  But I know that I need to learn to give those feelings some way of "expression" and am working with a therapist to do that.  Cognitive therapy focuses on what and how we think and teaches us new ways of thinking AS well as uncovering our old tapes that are doing us more harm than good.  I don't know if any of this will help you but it is possible to be happy but have a tough time in one area.  That one area would be good to focus on learning new ways of thinking and being so it creates less emotional destruction in your life.

Whew.  That was long!  Sorry but I hope some of it at least is a comfort and/or help.  Hang in  there, you're a wonderful woman.

Keri

Keri - Thank You very much for sharing that. I think that I might find a therapist - can't hurt right!?

My issues lie more in situations where I am not in control of everything - I have to be driving - prefer to do things on my own (in case I don't feel well and have to make a pit stop somewhere etc) so while I have in no means alienated myself I do prefer to be at home.
Thanks again for your input

Liz

Liz,

Was the customer unhappy with a project you helped work on?  I know at work when people get upset (like the patient) and I have done everything I was supposed to do and did it correctly and they still complain - it hurts.  To the point where I go to my manager going "but what else was I supposed to do?  I gave them their meds, I got the tests done in a timely fashion...I even brought the family coffee and tea (that's a new thing with customer service which I absolutely hate....I understand you need to address family as they are worried, too...but really....nurses don't have time to be waitresses in my opinion...)  Perhaps it was just something about meeting the client and knowing that the job was done correctly and yet you weren't going to make them happy?

I don't know if I'm even close on that.

As far as you being happy....I'm sure you are.  However...are you not letting your feelings through and believing you are happy?  Perhaps something is deeper that you are masking with happiness?

You can definately look into seeing a doctor - couldn't hurt.  And what I might suggest, if it doesn't make you drowsy - is taking the xanax every 6 hours until you feel more "normal"  You may be a little to anxious to take it "as needed"

The lexpro might not be a bad idea, either....who knows

At least you know we are here for you.

Pam

Pam - The customer is unhappy but this customer is ALWAYS unhappy. That did make me a bit anxious - but it isn't just this time around - it has been with a lot of things. Some days I can't convince myself to go to a yard sale or stop somewhere on the way home! I think it might be time to call a shrink. After working through all of this with you, my wonderful OH friends, it may be what is needed.

I agree that you shouldn't have to be a waitress too! There are vending machines and a cafeteria for that! When we were in the hospital the night my mother in law died I couldn't even get someone to get me a tylenol or a glass of water!

But I digress - thank you for your insight - I will take 1/2 a xanax every 6 hours today - a whole one and I think that I would be asleep under my desk by lunch!

You might be right - am I masking with my happiness? Probably depends on the situation - at work more then likely - There is a great deal of stress here. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE what I do - but I like to be in the office where I feel comfortable - not on the road.

I will make myself go see my client in Mt Laurel later this morning,

Thanks agian - now for reading my ramble...

Liz

Liz,

   Man, oh man do I feel your pain.    Seriously, these past two weeks, I've been an absolute mess.   I had been on welbutrin for anxiety since just after surgery.  I stopped it about a month ago, with the dr's approval, to see how I would do.   Well...   not good was the answer.  I worry about everything.  I made myself absolutely sick last weekend worrying over something also having to do with work...   then there was a good two or three days last week where i did almost nothing but cry over wedding stress...   and even now, I'm sitting here feeling like something's wrong.  I obviously started my meds again after last week.

It's going to take a while for my meds to kick back in, but I for one know it's the most awful feeling in the entire world...  and nothing can really make it go away.

I feel for you <3

Mary - sorry to hear that you are feeling this way too! I am going to have to call the Dr and go back on the Lexapro, I too went off of it under Dr supervision and it just isn't working.

*hugs*! I was like that pre-wedding too - I can't imagine doing it post op! Maybe it is something at the time out we are - things are regulating or something like that - I am just a few months ahead of you.

Thanks for the response!

Liz

How very helpful to know there are others......Thanks for posting.