Cousin killed in car accident around Hamburg

Hey everyone.  On top of being nervous about my surgery on Wed.  My cousin was killed in a car accident last night.  She was 24 years old and had 2 beautiful girls.  One was 4 and the other is about 7 months.  I keep thiking about the girls not having a mommy.  And then I think am I doing the right thing by having surgery.  What if something goes wrong and I leave my 3 kids with no mommy.  I am so confused right now.  Am I doing the right thing.  So much has gone through my head since I got the phone call this morning.  I am so...I don't know.

I am so sorry to hear this. 
You need to be strong.
I lost my Nephew / Godson 2 years ago in a car accident.  He was 25.
I know what you are going through.

I will say a prayer for you and your family

JoAnn

My heart and prayers goes out to you and your family during such a tragic and deeply saddening time. 

Such devestating news brings to mind our own mortality without pending things such as surgery.

I can't answer your question for you.  I can pose other ones, though, ones that only you can answer.  How will your children's life be affected by you not having the surgery?  Having a mom at home who is not able to do all the things they want her to do with them?  What risks do you have of worsening health problems in the future due to excess weight?  How much of your time will be spent potentially in hospitals with chronic medical ailments?

It's ok to be sad confused and "I don't know" right now.  You have every right as does the rest of your family.

Look deep inside yourself and think about everything. 

And know we are always here for you for any issues or just to "listen" as you vent during life's most personal difficulties, both surgical and non surgical related.

Pam

I was so sorry to hear about your cousin. I will say a prayer for your family.
Tammy

I'm so sorry to hear about your sudden loss and the tragedy it has wrought on her family.  When something like that happens we begin to question.  Everything.  The risks are real and must be addressed in your thought process but as Pam mentioned so must other long-term questions about your health.  Only you know what is right for you.  Thoughts and prayers coming your way while you process all of this.

Keri

I'm so sad to hear about the loss of your cousin and leaving 2 beautiful litlte girls behind - no words can express how much sadness I'm feeling right now - I'm praying that you and the children and rest of the family are good support for each other and will help each other thru this tragic time.

I've seen so many young moms post on here about their fear of surgery and not coming through it and leaving their families behind, but thank God nothing like that has happened. And Pam's right - what risks are you putting yourself and your family at by not having the surgery and becoming healthier and happier and more of a mom than you could ever imagine? My daughter is grown and I have granddaughters, and I can tell you when I went to visit them in September it was such a pleasure weighing 140 lbs less and being able to do so much more with them - and they loved it, too. We shopped and walked and my lap was much bigger since my old belly wasn't taking up more than half of it!!

Its very normal to be nervous, and you have additional reason to feel that way right now, but take comfort in the fact that you're doing this for yourself, your health, and for the future of your family.

Please take care of yourself thru this trying time as well...we're all here for you if you need to vent, cry, or just ask for a 'hug'.

Kathy

I just read about that on the Reading Eagle website this morning. I am so sorry to hear about that. That breaks my heart. I hope to see you tomorrow at the meeting. I will talk to you more then.

Try to relax and take care!

I'm so very sorry to hear about your cousin.   I know it brings your mortality to mind.  I will say a prayer for your family and her babies left behind.   You, yourself, might want to call your surgeon and re-schedule for later in the month after the services etc. have passed.   You do want to go into surgery with your head on straight and your blood pressure stable; so no regrets.  Best Wishes in whatever you do and my sympathies to your family hon...

How sad!  I am so sorry you and your family have to go through this loss. 

HG

Having lost my 18 yr old brother to a drunk driver, and my parents in a single crash in a 2 yr span, I understand the pain of tragic news.  Please know my thoughts are with you and your family.

 As for you, I don't know how heavy u are, but I was questioning everything too... since I lack family, I was really scared of something going wrong with the surgery and then they'd be left without a mommy.  But I can't remember who it was, perhaps even my Docs... they said imagine how short your life may be cut without the surgery... That got me thinking.  I want to be around for the long haul ;)  Put it in God's hand... because, really, after all, do we reallyyy have any control over our 'time' anyway?  ("If you wanna hear God laugh, tell him your plans."... great line from a Skynyrd song, tehee)