Life is hard sometimes........

So as many of you know I have been looking for a new job and seeing where I could take my career. Well, I gave my notice today and accepted a position that will definitely enhance my career. But in the same light I am also sad b/c I have been with my staff and families for almost 5 years. My bosses cried today when I gave them my resignation letter. They were shocked. At this point with the economy the way it is and the cost of health insurance it was a matter of survival. Hubby is still out of work and finding a job right now seems to be ridiculously hard. He is depressed again and making things miserable. I am afriad that with winter coming I will get depressed too and it will affect my body and my weight loss.
At the same time I feel good physicallu and I am able to do things that I would never be able to do before. I ran with our great dane the other day, without even getting winded. And actually I believe that I wouldn't have gotten this new job if I had 110 more pounds on me. I guess I really have no point, but I couldn't turn to stufffing my face so I turned to the people who I know would listen and care. Thanks for listening and for being my friends. - Katie

Katie,

We are leading parallel lives right about now.  Hubby has been out of work for basically two years at this point with the exception of a total of 4 mos and that was not consecutive.  He also suffers from depression and a few months ago I was very afraid for him and us in general, as he spiraled down pretty far to a point where I hadn't seen him that low in quite a number of years.

I also gave my resignation at work....a few weeks ago I gave notice...and my last day will be on 10/30.  I have been there for 5 years.  And what's even scarier is it's the only place (except for a short per diem stint for less than 6 mos) I have been a nurse.  I started at my current job as an aide, went to school - the nurses there helped me through school - and then was fortunate enough to be able to stay in the ER as a nurse with all of the coworkers I had known from day one of my aide days (most of the time they won't allow new grads to take a position in the ER - but because I was already an ER employee, they kind of "grandfathered" me in for lack of a better term)

I'm not sure if I'm convinced I wouldn't have gotten the job I will be starting if I was 107 pounds heavier.  What I can tell you though, is although I have been confident in my nursing skills I probably would not have had the self confidence to even apply for the job.   It is hugely intimidating in size and job requirements.  My current hospital is a 14 bed ER and app. a 300 bed facility.  The new job is a 40 bed ER and almost a thousand bed facility.  Also take into consideration we are moving 1 1/2 hours away from my family - which granted is close enough to see them whenever I want....it will be a huge adjustment.

Life is hard - but we tackel it and move fwd and upward and do what we must.  I know you will be ok this winter - your new job transition and all the "fear" and "excitement" and meeting of new people will get you through.

You've worked hard for where you have gotten - both personally and professionally - and remember that although life is tough - you are worth it!

Pam

Thanks Pam - I really needed to know that you are going through some of the same things. Thanks for reaching out. - Katie

Katie,

Congrats on all the new stuff in your life - the job, the body changing, running with the great dane.  Life has it's ups and downs and the best part is that you have the boards (your friends) to come to for support and kindness.  I'll be thinking of you and sending prayers your way.  My son is bipolar, ADHD, and oppositional defiant so his moods have had a big impact on my life so I know a little bit about what you're going through.  Hang in there, we all care about you and are here to support you.

Keri

Thanks Keri I appreciate your support. - Katie

Katie

You are so right.  Life is very difficult at times.  I hope things look up for your hubby. Transitions are so hard, but you now have the confidence and physical stamina to get through it and come out a stronger person. 

Wishing you the best!!!

arlene 

Hi Katie,
Yes indeed life is hard, but it's harder when you're "fluffy". You are no longer fluffy. We are no longer fluffy. From our surgery date and on we lost the fluffiness. In the past these feelings of stress, anxiety and burden would have had us do things that hurt us further. Instead you like so many of us are turning these outward to others instead of keeping them buried and hidden to those around you. Those that care about you. Our surgery decision did a lot for us, but it didn't fix all things. What it did was give us a vehicle to defeat our primary demon and the strength to take on all things difficult. You are moving in that positive direction. It does take time but you are moving there and you will arrive. In many ways you have already arrived. You are doing so well in your journey, you have learned to share the good and the not so good. You are giving your time to help in the support effort as a leader. I want you to be proud of what you've done and what you're doing. As proud as I am of you. You are soooo worthy.

Dennis

Yes Katie, life is hard sometimes, and I'm really sorry to hear about your husband and his depression over not being able to find work - the economy sucks right now and I'm sure its due to that more than anything else.

I am glad to hear you are making more positive changes in  your life - you've made so many so far, and going for a better job is a wonderful thing - even tho it can be scary leaving a comfort zone.

You're going to do fine - you won't stuff yourself fluffy again - you've come too far. You know we're all out here for  you and will be your comfort and support as much as possible.

Hang tight - things will get better.

Kathy

Katie,

As I read your post, I remembered a line in a book I read many years ago, it was a book by Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled and the opening line was. . .   "Life is Difficult"

Some years ago, I changed jobs after being at my job for 8 years and for the first 3-6 months at the new job I kept asking myself, whatever did I get myself into?  I'm now at this job 12-1/2 years . . .  I moved from NY, where I lived most of my life, to SWNJ where I knew no one except my son and his wife, that was one of the hardest things I ever went through, now 5-1/2 years later, I love my life. 

Change, no matter if it's one we chose or one that we have to accept as inevitable, is never without some period of adjustment, so just stay focused on your reasons for making the change and think about the fact that you have gained a new confidence and can get the job done, obviously they think so too, after all they hired you!

You have shown and continue to show that you are in "successing" mode and have friends that are here to share in your journey, the ups and downs, because that's what friends do.  I'll be praying for your husband to find his place back among the employed and hope that his depression lifts!

Best wishes, Laureen

 

Katie...

I am attaching song lyrics from one of my all time favorite songs...It is by Natalie Merchant called Life is Sweet.

Stay strong you are gonna do fine.

Misery from the start, it's dull,
It's slow, it's painful
But I tell you life is sweet
In spite of the misery
There's so much more, be grateful
So who will you believe
Who will you listen to
Who will it be
Because it's high time that you decide
It's time to make up your own
Your own state of mind
They told you life is long
Be thankful when it's done
Don't ask for more, be grateful
But I tell you life is short
Be thankful, because before you know it
It will be over
Because life is sweet
Life is all so very short
Life is sweet