I am sooo angry with myself!

I don't know what the heck my problem is!  I just can't seem to get back on track.  I have gained!! I'm supposed to be losing still!  LOL  I know exactly what I am doing and what is causing it, but I can't seem to turn it around! 

I hate the fact that I can tolerate just about everything!  Grrrrr.  

OK..  If everyone is willing to put up with me... please???   I am going to "start over"  I have a good start this morning as since the scale scared the SH** out of me, I started my day with a protein shake! 

I am going to try to keep myself honest and post here daily on my progress..  My 47th birthday  is 2 weeks from today, and I really want to have some PS before I'm 50, so I have to get the rest of this weight off!!   I have no intention in getting down to my "ideal weight", but I want to be well under 200 and be able to stay there... I got there once, 188, after my son died, but then stress and grief hit and that all changed. Unfortunately, this is a really bad time of year for me.. and will only get worse over the next 3 months... well, 4, really as I lost my mom 2/4/06. 

ok  I know this is long.. and I'm ranting and raving, but I know this is the only place I can come where people will understand...   and the only people who with understand that I have to KEEP starting over!

Thank you in advance for listening to me and for your support..

Blanch,
Hang in there. You have been thru major stuff. Be proud of yourself that you realize that you need to get back in the game of losing this weight and have already taken steps today to eating right. You can rant and rave all you want here. I think what works for me is planning my meals ahead of time and also incorporating some sort of exercise into my day every day weather its walking or getting on my elliptical at home. Good Luck and keep posting here. Remember we are here for you.

Thank you... 

Don't beat yourself up too bad over this - I think a lot of us (yes, I'm including myself) are going thru similar things right now. I still can't tolerate sugars and breads and thick pastas, but I can eat the daylights out of crackers and crunchy carbs and I know I've been doing too much of that. I've also been pushing my pouch too much and paying for it.  And like you I want to lose a lot more to get under that 200 lb mark. My goal is to lose 200 lbs, which won't put me anywhere close to my so-called 'ideal' weight, but it'll be ideal for me.

I didn't track anything while on vacation last week, so I'm back to that and am going back to the gym tonight and scheduling an appt with a trainer to shake up my work-out routine - I'm hoping both of those things help.

You have some tough times coming up - it will be easy to fall back on comfort foods during this time, but try to come here instead when you get really blue or feel like drowning your sorrows with snacks. We'll help as much as we can.

Kathy

I know how hard it is to get back on track and I don't have nearly as much on my plate as you do.  Just try to stay focused, make a meal plan, get some exercise, and you will get there.  Starting your day with a protein shake is a great start.   Good luck and be sure to keep us posted.

Blanche,
I think you may be a little hard on yourself.
None of us our perfect or we wouldn't be here.
Try to make a plan and see how it goes.
Starting with a protein shake is a great way to start.
You have lost alot of weight and you can get back on track.
Rant and rave here all that you want.
Tammy

Blanche,

I know how you feel.  I have lost some control and need to get back on it.  I have been planning on doing the pouch test.  I have done it several times before and it does help.  So I am going to make this commitment that I will start the 5 day pouch test this Sunday (good day for me to only have protein drinks). 

Numbers on the scale are not important but I realize that in some cases when that number starts going up it doesn't stop.

Instead of saying you are starting over, why not say that you are turning a page in your journal and have a fresh page for today.

Not one of us had the surgery because the food fell into our mouths from heaven.  We all have a problem and it is a life long struggle.  Some of us get into a good groove and keep going, some, like me, keep falling.  As I said I am making the committment to have a new page starting right now and a plan to follow the 5 day pouch test starting Sunday

If you like you can PM how you make out at the end of each day and I will do the same to you. 

This time of the year is difficult for many people.  I am sure that if your Mom were here she would tell you how wonderful you have done and how beautiful of a girl her baby is.  Say a prayer that she look out after you especially over the next few months. 

You are back on the road just with this post.  Please let me know how the rest of your week goes.


Jeanne

Blanche, thoughts and prayers are with you during this tough time of year.  Get back to basics.  Drink all your water.  Focus on protein FIRST and then veggie and then a little fruit.  Protein shake is a great start!  Treat yourself like you would a best friend.  :0)

Keri

Blanche,

You can rant and rave here any time - that's what we are here for!!

As someone said - numbers aren't everything - but they are a starting point when you need one.   Good for you for having the protein shake today!

Take it one minute at a time if you have to.  You don't have to be perfect - you have to be honest and willing to give it your all. Sometimes looking at the next few months would be to overwhelming.  Start by looking at one meal at a time.  For this meal you will do good.  We'll worry about the other meal in a few hours.

If pre planning helps you - I would suggest doing that.  I know I have more trouble when I don't pre plan.  It's a pain in the butt and there are days I stray....but all in all it helps.

Good luck!

Pam

Thank you, all.. for your words of support and kindness...  so far, doing ok with my protein shake, lots of water, and a SF pudding.. I think I am starting the 5 day pouch test.. we'll see if I make it through dinner!!