Selfish?

I've been getting to know an "old" friend again. We've known one another for well over five yrs. Went out before I had surgery, had a good time, but we just didn't "fit" He knew I was planning/researching this surgery and told me way back when, under no cir****tances would he ever date me if I lost weight. He was only attracted to big girls and had no intention of getting seriously involved with someone who "would look like a stick". No hard feelings, we parted ways as friends, as I completely understood, and still do, people have thier own preferences in who they want to date and get involved with. He knows I've been fairly successful in this journey, he also knows I've not made it to my goal weight. He also knows, I have not, nor will I, give up on my goal. One day I WILL make my goal weight, like it or not.
Tonight after talking to him for about an hour, he now claims I am very selfish. I asked him what the heck he was referring to. His explanation? "you are destroying what could be enjoyable for me by losing weight, you really should consider gaining weight again, you were much prettier back when you were (get this word!) FAT!!"
OMG is all I could say for about three minutes. I literally felt like I was hyperventalating. Selfish?? ME, selfish, because I want to be healthy? and because I wouldn't be pleasing to him???? Is he insane?? Or am I just completely over reacting here?
Someone, please Lord give me some help here, because I am clueless and very confused.
And before anyone asks. NO, I am not seriously even going to consider going out with him, and NO, I'm NOT going to gain weight just to make someone else happy. (I may be crazy, but my mamma didn't raise a complete fool!)

That is what I label a "TOXIC FRIENDSHIP" and as hard as it may be I get rid of those friendships they serve no purpose but to bring me down.

It sounds like he is the selfish one not you ...

He is a jerk. Just write him off.

The fact of the matter is doing something for your health is not being selfi****'s selfish for him to want to deprive you of your health. He even tells you it's about what would make him happy.

It's ok to have a type, but if he is only interested in your fluff and not you, where would the relationship go?

Loretta - You are not selfish and you are not overreacting either!! He is the selfish one and a big jerk! You definitely do not need someone who wants to sabotage your health in your life. Forget him, you know what is right for you. You know the saying, "it's not you, it's me"...Well, tell him "it is you, not me" :)

Selfish : concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others

You should tell your friend, and I use the term friend loosely, to look up the meaning of selfish and rethink his opinion of you because HE is the selfish one.

Can I ask if he is skinny or fluffy? Because if he's skinny then he should walk a mile in your shoes before saying you should gain the weight back and if he's fluffy then shame on him for knowing all the damage it does to your body, mind and soul and then expecting you to throw away all the success you have had so far just so HE could be happy.

He needs to back off and go find someone else to try and control....just my opinion of course

No 'friend' would ever want you to be unhealthy or unhappy just to make themselves feel better. He's the selfish one by wanting you the way he wants you, not the way you want to be. Time to find a new 'friend' - one who appreciates you for who you are, not what you look like.

Oh. My. God.

I cannot BELIEVE some people. No you are absolutely NOT selfish. However your umm...."friend"--in the loosest sense of the word--is extremely narcissistic and self-centered.

People! People drive me nuts. I echo everyone else in saying it is a very unhealthy relationship, and don't even hang out with him anymore. You don't need that crap.

Enough said since everyone else said it so well.  Now, if you wouldn't mind punching him a few times for me that would be great.  JUST kidding.  I'm so happy that you are committed to your health and well-being no matter who, or what, tries to sway you from your path. 

Keri

This is pretty simple... If he truly cared about you, he'd like you no matter how much you weighed.  Skinny... heavy... average, you are you and he should like you regardless... Simply put, I don' t think this old friendship is worth rekindling.  You deserve someone who will support you and like you and be happy for you no matter where your weight lies, not only in relationships but in friendships too. 

My response would have been "bite me jackass!"  You are NOT being selfi****s a mind game.  Some people have serious control issues.  This reminds me of a man I went out with...who didn't bother to tell me he had a live in girlfriend....when he did finally tell me, I told him I wasn't interested in being his dirty little secret...he told me I was being selfish for not putting his needs first.  Uh....it left me speechless....still to this day...probably 10 years later, I still can't do anything but shake my head in amazement!   

There is a whole sea of fish out there....throw the stinky ones back!

HG