Maybe I'm crazy, BUT ....

Nan,
I don't think anyone will think you are crazy.  It's a very personal decision - like the weight-loss surgery - and only you can make it.  I'm sure it sounds monumental right now, but stay away from the cigarettes and get the massages - and let the future hold what it will.  You will know what is right for you and the rest of us will support you in your decision.
Eileen

Nan - You are not crazy! It is a serious commitment to make and it is your decision and yours alone! We will support you no matter you decide! I'm glad you put the cigs down...I know how hard that can be. {[hugs}}

Its not hard to give up the cigs, I wasn't enjoying them, but it was keeping me from grazing and crying.  Its not hard to give something up that you just started and weren't enjoying anyway. 

focus on giving up the cigs and taking care of yourself.
just because you had the consult does not mean you have to do it.
You have to have information to make an informed decision
now you have the info. and it seems you have made your decision
which is right for you.
It is not like you cannot change your mind later.
Dont worry YOU know YOU best

The cigs are history, it wasn't a deal breaker.  I saw pictures on the internet of the surgery.  I am not going thru that hell 5 or 6 times.  There is no way I could come thru all those surgeries without a serious infection which could lose me my legs.