OT: Dating after WLS...

A support group would be great. Time to meet up and talk about things. Learning how to talk to a guy would be a good thing too, lol. Whenever I am around someone I think I might like, I can't even breathe. 

Cheryl...I am on it ..I am gonna  do a support group for us singles. I will make a post and then we wil go from there to get us Singles together.

It's not so much about the time, but about the person.

BUT....

if you're not happy and stable with yourself and your life (and that includes your relationship with food), you can't be happy and stable with ANYBODY.

Lord, I could write a book about this crap. For the most part, my dating life (prior to meeting the love of my life Mary) was a stinking cesspool.

Excellent words there Norm ...so true.

Also it took the years of bad dates to know what you had to be for the love of your life!

Happy and stable with myself.....nope, not me.

heehee.....I am just gonna get used to being by myself.....lol.

I noticed today that the more I think about this, the more I wanna eat. And not good foods. Interesting.

That's what I was getting at. I am not graceful with words at times. LOL.

But I completely agree with Norman. It's about the individual.

Cheryl,

That's a great topic and I think a support group might not be a bad thing. 

My personal experience is that I put off dating for a time and was going to wait until I had experienced more of the changing that goes on within this experience, not the physical, but more of the pyschological changes, however, one January night I was bored, on the computer and checked out a site that I had had a profile on, anyway, just as I was about to log off and I hadn't been on long, I got IM'd by someone, I looked at his profile real quick and figured ok, I'll chat a bit, well long story short, a month later we met and have been dating ever since.  I didn't tell him about my WLS in our first conversation, but when I did tell him, he thought my choice was very brave and he is extremely supportive and my greatest champion in all that I do, even reminding me to drink my water and slow down when I eat too fast, as he has been a witness to what happens when I don't ;) 

So, I think it's a personal choice, but for sure there are issues we face as we lose weight, grow more confident and deal with any issues that might hinder us in post-WLS relationships. . .

Hugs, Laureen

Good topic and I would be interested in discussing it further.  I joined some online sights, sent some e mails and then gave up.  It's been a while and the idea is a little scary.  But I am ready to give it a shot.  

arlene 

I dated before, during and after.  Funny, though, how your standards and expectations start to change over time.

Some recommend waiting...I'm glad mine snagged me when he did (4 months post op).  Who knows where I'd be if he hadn't. 

And one more thing....dating someone with the same issues as your own...not recommended. 

That's a good point. I was married for 18 years to someone who......I was told by a psychologist (we were going to counseling together and separately).....is very much like me. We have been divorced for 3 years. I don't like to see it quite that way, the thought of us being alike is kinda disturbing...lol...but true I suppose in some ways. We were also way too young---18 and 20.