WTF is wrong with me!

I swear i will never learn to eat slowly. Last night I waited so long to eat dinner (not that I had a choice) and when I finally had a second to sit down I literally INHALED the food. "hello dumbass you just had your stomach and intestines re-routed

Well needless to say, the hiccups started, the nose running, i couldn't talk the food was stuck so bad. I kept burping and then all of a sudden - BARFOLA! I have never barfed like that in my life - I had no control over it it just projectiled right out of my face. Nice. My husband said i looked like the chick from the exorcist.

i'm such a freak and apparently a slow learner.

I hope you all enjoyed my little story.

Holy God Mel.  I didn't know whether to cry or laugh.  It's not funny but such a witty/sarcastic way to relay it to us!  I'm at work and pretty much spit the mouthful of Crystal Lite all over my desk.  So thanks for the little story.

Welcome to the boneheaded, slow learners club.  I am two years out and I still can't get it right.  I have gone through weeks were I put myself through that at least once a day.  Maybe by the time I am 20 years out I will learn!! 

Sorry you had to experience that, but you will get the hang of it eventually.

HG

Melanie,
I feel your pain. I threw up only twice since surgery but both times were from eating too fast. I am (or was) a fast eater. It's hard to get that one down. I only eat fast when I am around my kids...could that be because they never leave me alone....lol. Take care and eat slow....

Tracy

Mel...just prior to replying this my head was in my trash can at my desk ...Why??? Because I scarfed in my lunch. I do this about once or twice a week. I guess I am part of the Bonehead club with the others.

Your normal! Well as normal as we can get here!

5 years out, and within the last two weeks, I sent myself to the toilet for a awful post-dinner barf because I ate my dinner too fast and didn't chew it well enough.

The first one was carrots and turkey, and the unchewed turkey formed a trap at the bottom of my pouch that the carrots couldn't pass through, so I basically got to enjoy the pleasure of horking up a lump of carrots and turkey the size of my fist in one slow, excrutiatingly painful process. I had bloodshot eyes and broken blood vessels all around my eyes for two days because of that.

The other one was Friday night, and I scarfed my pizza down too quickly. Fast forward twenty minutes, and I'm miserable, and my eyes and nose are all runny, so I just went upstairs and make myself puke, and then I felt better, because the food was unstuck.

So did you actually just puke straight out into the room, or were you at a sink or toilet? I never just blew it into the space in front of me. If you did that, I'm impressed. What was your distance?

Slightly related: my cat threw up this morning, so I had to chase her around the house to give her medicine. That wasn't fun.

Hey, I can see this event at the next OH convention--with points for distance!

I lmoa!!

ok now I'm rolling at my desk.

yep i barfed right there in the room. I think I only got about 10 feet. My boys (12 & 14) were MORTIFIED.

They were just sitting down watch the Phillies game and promptly relocated to the other room. (of course as I was cleaning up my own guts I was quietly cursing all of them for making me have to run around so much last night that I went too long w/o eating and therefore it was ALL there fault that mommy barfed in the den.)

Thankfully I had put the 2 year old to bed already, as I'm sure she would have looked at me and said "Yay mommy" (she's gross like that)

even the dog ran for it's life.

I'm surprised the dog ran.

When I was in college, we had a fraternity dog named Maggie who would eat people's party barf for breakfast on Saturday mornings.

Yeah...my dogs would have eatten it...yummy barf snack....but then, they eat cat poop too.