Vent for today

I actually had a WOW moment today a gentleman who works with me gave me a compliment on how good I look and I said thank you and told him about my WLS and he said good for me and that its obviously working for me and keep up the good work. BUT you know that there is always that one nosy co-worker who has to pipe in the conversation. This co-worker was never supportive of my getting WLS because she herself is a little overweight and thinks that you should love the way you look no matter what kind of problems you might have health wise I mean. Anyway to make a long story short she says to me I don't need to lose another pound because I will look sickly. I am 155 pounds and my goal is 130 I was 240 pre surgery. I think everybody should have a personal goal weather they reach it or not I think that keeps you motivated. Anyway she says to me that I already look a little sickly and that I am getting way to thin . Has anybody else come across comments like these. Even my family members are saying that to me. Since when is 130 pounds underweight for a woman who is 40 years old and stands at 5' 3".  Sorry to go on and on but I just had to share this story. Thanks for listening.

Shilpa

Tell her: "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."
:)

It's a personal thing that is none of anyone's biz.

Hi Shilpa,

I haven't heard any comments about me being too thin, just about being thinner now than some of my friends and family.  My MIL calls me bones, but just as a comment about how much I have lost.

I think you look great and not sickly AT ALL!!!  That co-worker is sooooooooooo jealous it's not even funny and that is why she is making those kind of comments.  Maybe she isn't so happy about herself after all.  Don't let it get to you...there will always be those type of people and we just have to ignore them.

Keep up the great work.  You've done great and look absolutely wonderful.

I would not let it bug you too much. sometimes people project their junk on us. Lets face it we do look a little different after surgery. I am not sure how far you are out, but when you lose weight that fast and it can change your appearance, you know those wrinkles and droops come out. Eventually I think things calm down and our body adjusts but sometimes it is confused with being tired or sick. I have not had anyone make that comment to me, I guess I would just laugh if they did.

Thank her for her concern and then let it drop.  Set your goal with your surgeon, and then ignore the ignorance of the masses of people who have no f***ing clue what we to through to make our bodies healthy.  They think it is the easy way out, but it is not.  It is pain, and work, and suffering, and self-doubt and a lot of other things that go into our decision to have the surgery that will ultimately afford us the opportunity to become healthy again.  Screw looking good, just being healthy. 

Sorry for my rant.  I am in one of my ranting moods today.

Hugs,
Trish

Tell her what we tell our upset patients, "I am sorry you feel that way" then walk away.

People can suck big time and try to push their way of thinking onto others when no one asked for it. Just try to keep it pleasant because you still have to work with her.

Jen

I have had a few of those comments.  Its not up to them.  Its up to you to be happy with your image.  To sum it up, thats the salt in the sweetness of life. 

Our journies are very similar.  I started out at 235 at 5'3"  When I hit between 145-160 I was being told  by friends and family "Ok - you NEED to stop now"  I am currently between 128-133 depending on that time of the month.   I told each and every one of them when they were telling me to stop that I was "under a physicians care and would not do anything to hurt myself" and let it drop at that.


That being said - looking back at photos - there does seem to be a time period where I looked "drawn" in the face.  I swear - my face and shoulders have recently "repositioned" its structure and fat cells or something - because my face has definately changed multiple times over this journey.  My co workers didn't say anything at the time but recently said to me - you look great - a few months ago you didn't look so good.

So - playing devils advocate I think many people go through a transition phase that we ourselves cannot see but others can.

However - screw your nosey co worker.  Do what you need to do!

Pam

When I was going for my surgery over 4 years ago, I went through this with my best friend. Yes, my best friend. At that time, it wasn't quite as common as now. And she was VERY against it. And she is over weight too. But always had great confidence, loved how she was and didn't have a problem with her weight. She always says she loves me but thinks it is a mistake. Then after surgery, she was always telling me how "thin" I looked and that she thought I was losing too much.

I know in her case, she seriously was concerned but she was quite verbal about it.  I assured her it was the right thing for me and that I am fine. But it did hurt that she felt that way. I wanted her to be the one person who was cheering me along.

However, after years have gone by, she realizes that it was a great thing for me. And is happy for me and how I look and feel.

In fact..........she has now begun the process herslf and should be having her sugery after the new year. So sometimes it's just not knowing, understanding or be educated on the benefits. And not realizing its a personal choice not a choice you make based on other peoples opinions.

I personally get a little *****y when other tell me how to live my life, and I would probably get a huge attitude with her.........but that's my issue! ha ha ha

Shilpa,
You look great. I know you feel great. I think your coworker is a bit jealous of how good you
look and wants to pick at you. Forget her and go back to the WOW moment. That is where you
want to be.
Tammy