"Oh, my God, you weigh less than me!!!"

Just wondering if anyone has heard this line yet followed by, "now I have to lose weight."  Very recently I've seen some family members or sent out emails about how much I've lost now and how much I weigh and the response is "oh, my God, you weigh less than me, and now I've got to lose weight."

God forbid Karen weigh less than someone.  It's sort of like an insult because I've ALWAYS been the fattest in my family and the fattest of my friends.  And now that I'm not, I think it kind of scares them.  Like my God Karen was huge and now she's not and now I can't be more than Karen.  I know they probably don't even realize how they're coming off.  But when you've been fat for so much of your life - my entire life - your mentality is different and I know I look at things differently.

I don't want to feel guilty because now I weigh less than my family or some of my friends.  And I know they probably don't even know that they're making me feel guilty and I probably shouldn't even feel this way, but I do.  And I do because of my "fat" mentality.  I hope that someday this feeling will go away.  Or people will stop saying "I can't believe you weigh less than me."

Has anyone experienced this kind of reaction or feeling??

Oh yeah..........I was always the "fat" one. So the idea of a family member or friend weighing more than me.......is bothersome to some. I figure it's thier issue, not mine. I am not staying fat just to make them feel better. It is kinda an insult but nice too. It really is nice to weigh less for once. I understand!

Man Karen, I can sooooo relate to your post!! As my weight was coming off one of my girlfriends said 'there's no way you're getting smaller than me!', so she's been busting her a** at Curves because she knows I'm not only catching up to her in weight but I've probably gotten smaller than her in sizes now. And all my friends are on the exercise band wagon now - and not that I don't want to see them become healthier, but what's wrong with me NOT being the fattest one for a change.

Then there's my sister (who I'm having issues with anyway) who does not support my WLS and is coming up in a couple of weeks and said to me the other day 'Well, I guess I'll be the fattest one now' - OMG!!! So it was okay for everybody as long as I was the 'FAT ONE' - they could all feel better about themselves because they were smaller than me? And not that they're not happy for me, but we were all plus size girls and now that I'm working my way out of that realm (hopefully) they seem to be panicked about being the 'FAT ONES'.

You're not alone in these feelings and I think they're hard to deal with but apparently something a lot of us are going thru...

constantly, the whole time jasons mom was here that is all i got. Now my younger sister who has always been the thin one asked me what my goal weight was. I told her and she said then you will weigh less than me. And I was like and your point is??? You weighing less than me all these years has never been a problem for me, so why would be weighing less than you be a problem for you???

Karen,
It still does amaze me that people had no problem with me being the "fattest one" but god
forbid they don't want to be that "one". Too bad - you can not let them make u feel guilty about
doing something good for yourself. Smile and walk away,
Tammy 

Karen,  I am only three weeks out today and have already had the reaction that I wont be the biggest anymore (in the future) but it is almost ok with them because i cheated and had WLS

Karen - You should not feel guilty about anything. They are the ones with the issues. They probably feel guilty because they are not being pro-active about their own health and you are. And not just that you are being pro-active but that you are thriving! Don't let them get to you. I totally understand, my one sister has made those same comments to me twice now and I am only four months out and nowhere near goal. I just don't share my happy moments with her anymore, if she asks me then I tell her. I can't tell if she is happy for me or not with some of her comments, so why bother. You are doing fabulous and don't let anyone get you down or make you feel guilty. {[hugs}}

I understand this all to well. I recently saw a friend and she hugged me and said I make her wanna go home and workout! Like im not susppose to be small...i have to be big to make them feel better!

But my sister is the worst...she will see me and get upset...telling me im so jealous i cant let you be thinner than me. and then telling her hubbie to look at me and that she has to get smaller now like its a compettion or becuz she has always been the smallest i can be small now...or ever!

It gets on my last darn nerves! Cant I be small and happy too without this crap! lol

So, I haven't posted about this before b/c I thought I was being petty and that I shouldn't let it bother me, but now that I know it bothers others I can rant a little. Talk about jealousy, my sister only had WLS surgery because she was going to be the fattest woman in the house. She had her surgery 7 weeks ago and today she weighs less than me, and I know she did it allfor the wrong reasons. She is not eating right and not exercising at all and is still losing weight. I was so sick my second month and I just get depressed thinking that she is having it so easy. I know that I made the right decision and I haven't had it easy, but it is just hard for me. I guess I could go on and on, but I won't, thanks for listening to me. I don't know if I made any sense but I needed to do that. Thanks again, Katie

Katie,

When you mentioned your sisters WLS when she had it done, your "tone" indicated that it wasn't the best decision and you weren't thrilled about it.  I kind of figured it was something like that.

She may weigh less than you right now - but you said it - she's not eating right and is not exercising.  Of course she is still losing weight - she's in the very very early stages.  See where she is in 6 mos or a year or even 5 years.

You will be healthy - she will be struggling.  Unless she really wants to do this and figures out she needs to work the program for healthy maintenance....

Hang in there hun!

Pam