OT: Hubby's Progress from Accident
THANKS to everyone who sent up prayers and good thoughts for my husband Jack after his accident. It helped both of us through a very hard time.
We are not out of the woods yet. I had wanted Jack to go from orthopedic rehab straight into Drug and Alcohol Rehab, but because he is still a "medical case" because of the many fractures in his neck and back, only a hospital based program will accept him. There are two in the state, one in Altoona and one in Valley Forge. As of today there are no open beds.
Jack has been home since Saturday. He is sleeping upstairs in the guest room because I toss and turn in bed a lot and I was afraid I might hurt him. I really miss sleeping next to him.
We still need lots of prayers, both of us. Jack is in a deep depression now.
He says he wishes he was dead. I think he is running a fever but he won't let me check it or put any antibiotic cream on his head wound. He won't take his meds, hasn't bathed, won't eat, says he's not sure if he wants to stay here or even stay married.
I am devastated. I can't eat, sleep, and I cry myself out every night.
He isn't wearing his torso brace (turtle suit) as much as he should be. I tried calling his orthopedic doc and he was out today. I also called the social worker and she never called back.
I am at the end of my rope, so I have just tied a knot in it and I am hanging on with a thread. Jack is still saying he is willing to go to D&A rehab and he is going to his regular AA meeting on Wednesday night.
Our neighbor is the group leader for our local AA and he is going to take Jack. Roger is a wonderful neighbor and friend. He has been over every day to check on Jack. He told Jack to start reading his Big Book, and invited us to church on Sunday.
Roger also talked to me in private and said I should go to AL-Anon, and that if Jack got mean I could come over to his house that the door is never locked. Jack can be unpredictable when he is depressed and has been violent in the past..(many yrs ago). Still I am Wary of him.
AL-Anon is about an hour away and at night and I am a bit scared to drive over at night but I am praying for fortitude and strength to go.
Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers, We would have never gotten this far without all of you
, each one of you is an angel in my heart!
We are not out of the woods yet. I had wanted Jack to go from orthopedic rehab straight into Drug and Alcohol Rehab, but because he is still a "medical case" because of the many fractures in his neck and back, only a hospital based program will accept him. There are two in the state, one in Altoona and one in Valley Forge. As of today there are no open beds.
Jack has been home since Saturday. He is sleeping upstairs in the guest room because I toss and turn in bed a lot and I was afraid I might hurt him. I really miss sleeping next to him.
We still need lots of prayers, both of us. Jack is in a deep depression now.
He says he wishes he was dead. I think he is running a fever but he won't let me check it or put any antibiotic cream on his head wound. He won't take his meds, hasn't bathed, won't eat, says he's not sure if he wants to stay here or even stay married.
I am devastated. I can't eat, sleep, and I cry myself out every night.He isn't wearing his torso brace (turtle suit) as much as he should be. I tried calling his orthopedic doc and he was out today. I also called the social worker and she never called back.
I am at the end of my rope, so I have just tied a knot in it and I am hanging on with a thread. Jack is still saying he is willing to go to D&A rehab and he is going to his regular AA meeting on Wednesday night.
Our neighbor is the group leader for our local AA and he is going to take Jack. Roger is a wonderful neighbor and friend. He has been over every day to check on Jack. He told Jack to start reading his Big Book, and invited us to church on Sunday.
Roger also talked to me in private and said I should go to AL-Anon, and that if Jack got mean I could come over to his house that the door is never locked. Jack can be unpredictable when he is depressed and has been violent in the past..(many yrs ago). Still I am Wary of him.
AL-Anon is about an hour away and at night and I am a bit scared to drive over at night but I am praying for fortitude and strength to go.
Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers, We would have never gotten this far without all of you
, each one of you is an angel in my heart! 
This has to be amazingly hard for you! 
My thoughts and prayers are with during this very difficult time. Please remember to take care of you in ways that nurture you and make you feel good. What a wonderful neighbor you have and what a huge support that is for you. Definitely lean on him if and when you need it. Hopefully at the first meeting you might meet someone who comes from your area who you could carpool with? It's a far ride but you really need that network and support right now. What a strong woman you are in spite of this tough situation. Take care.
Keri
Keri
Jen, I hope your husband can pull himselt out of this depression he's in, but please be sure to take care of yourself along the way as well. This sounds like an extremely difficult time for you right now. We're all here for you - its not the same as being with you physically but we'll do what we can from here as far as offering support. Please take care and keep posting so we know you're hanging in and hanging on.
Kathy
Kathy
'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
Thanks for the update, I will PM you.
Hugs, L
Hugs, L
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Jen, part of head injury is very often depression and if coupled with him coming off of something addictive, he's probably really chemically messed up so do keep an eye to him but also take care of yourself and take that neighbor up on whatever help he offers, even if it's just babysitting so you can get out for a bit and clear your head. Best Wishes for a safe and speedy drive through this obstacle course in life.
Jackie J. 
1 choice @ a time > 1 day @ a time. Slow to Succeed is still Success ;-)
Jen,
Continue to do what you need to do in order to take care of both yourself and your husband. This will most likely be a very long road but you sound very strong, regardless of needing to "tie a knot" at the end of your rope. You have done fantastically thus far and I'm sure will continue to do so.
It is ok to be devestated at everything. Don't take the comment regarding the marriage to heavily at this point - it very well could be the depression talking. Allow him to vent as well and encourage those venting feelings by listening to him. Sometimes people don't want to hear advice or why things are better - they need to just let it out.
That being said - continue with the medical treatments and encouraging him as much as possible. Although he may not want it right now, your support is obviously vital to him.
Roger sounds like a wonderful person and someone to really lean on. Even if you need to go there for 20 minutes to yell and scream and cry and then come back to the house - that would probably be ok as well. Perhaps your husband would be more willing to let him put the cream on his head and things like that? It might be a man thing.
I think the support for people who are going through things like this is an excellent idea with al anon and although it's a drive, might be worth it. You can also look into support groups for people who take care of those with serious injuries such as your husband. If the social worker calls back maybe they would have ideas. On that note - if you are not getting the answers you need from them in a timely fashion A) keep calling and pestering them and B) Ask for a different one through a supervisor. Support for both of you is vital at this point.
Let us know what we can do beyond the support and prayers. It's not the same as having somebody there with you but know we are always here on the world wide web for you.
Pam
Continue to do what you need to do in order to take care of both yourself and your husband. This will most likely be a very long road but you sound very strong, regardless of needing to "tie a knot" at the end of your rope. You have done fantastically thus far and I'm sure will continue to do so.
It is ok to be devestated at everything. Don't take the comment regarding the marriage to heavily at this point - it very well could be the depression talking. Allow him to vent as well and encourage those venting feelings by listening to him. Sometimes people don't want to hear advice or why things are better - they need to just let it out.
That being said - continue with the medical treatments and encouraging him as much as possible. Although he may not want it right now, your support is obviously vital to him.
Roger sounds like a wonderful person and someone to really lean on. Even if you need to go there for 20 minutes to yell and scream and cry and then come back to the house - that would probably be ok as well. Perhaps your husband would be more willing to let him put the cream on his head and things like that? It might be a man thing.
I think the support for people who are going through things like this is an excellent idea with al anon and although it's a drive, might be worth it. You can also look into support groups for people who take care of those with serious injuries such as your husband. If the social worker calls back maybe they would have ideas. On that note - if you are not getting the answers you need from them in a timely fashion A) keep calling and pestering them and B) Ask for a different one through a supervisor. Support for both of you is vital at this point.
Let us know what we can do beyond the support and prayers. It's not the same as having somebody there with you but know we are always here on the world wide web for you.
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
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