Feeling Blue - Need Encouragement

Hello all.  I am new to this site so hello to everyone.  I am feeling very sad, disappointed in myself and discouraged.  I had lapband surgery on January 17, 2008 at the Barix Clinic of Langhorne, PA.  All went well and the doctors and staff were really wonderful.  I had my first fill in March and it didn't work.  My second fill was in May and it seemed to make a difference and I could feel like the band was working for me for the first time.  I had a slight fill in June and then was scheduled to go back in July which I cancelled.  I thought the band was still restricted enough but barely a week after I cancelled my appointment it was as it I never had a fill and was feeling very little restriction. I don't understand why.  I just had my 4th fill on August 24 and had only lost 1 lb since my last weight in which was in June.  Very discouraging as I was expecting a little more than that!  I did go on vacation in August and ate things which I knew were not allowed (meaning sweets etc..) Believe it or not, I am still struggling with not drinking while eating.  I try not to drink but I always end up drinking a few sips during my meal.  I have  reduced my food intake and try and eat proteins first but I am still eating too much starch/carbs.  I need some positive encouragement to start things over and get back on track.  I am an emotional eater and my family is going thru some personal struggles which makes me want to eat all the bad things to make myself feel better.  I am feeling very alone in the process as I don't have anyone close to me who is overweight and can understand how hard it can be.  I have lost 30 lbs to date but I feel like such a failure and I know my doctor was disappointed at our last visit.  Can someone give me some words of encouragement please?  I still need to lose at least 60 lbs and need some friendly encouragement.  Thanks for any advice or support.

Jenny

Hey!

30lbs is great for a lapbander....your doctor was def not disappointed..and ill tell you why...

in the year that ive been banded ive never felt more worthless, depressed, disgusting, waste of space in my life. ive never obsessed with my weight until i watched it go up AFTER weight loss surgery. i now go to dr. boe for fills, and i tell him how frustrated i am, and how much i would fight to have this product taken off the market. i developed horrible acid reflux with this band and have gained about 13lbs after surgery. i think i was up more but had lost a couple lbs. (mainly from starvation) they advertise this product so well not telling us that we will have to vomit, deal with the acid reflux, not be able to get any healthy food down once restricted chew so much ur mouth starts to hurt, because if you dont you will slime ur food back up.

 

the only time i lose weight with the band is when im on a 500cal diet, problem is i do that for a week and lose some weight, the first sign of real food my body starts to put the weight back on. so if anyone knows what being a disappointment feels like its me. this board is mostly the RNYers but theyre very friendly and good for support, in fact i stopped posting about a year ago because i already felt like a failure for choosing this surgery. and now im still a fat ass and everyday trying to fight this demon...i hope it doesnt kill me because i dont know how much more i can take. PM me if you have any questions!

 

i think you did great tho!

Hi Jenny - I'm not a lapbander but I did have my surgery at Barix. I'm sorry you're feeling so discouraged over your band - 30 lbs lost is nothing to be disappointed at - you've done very well so far.

Emotional eating is a huge problem for a lot of us out here, including myself. The key is to take the tool you've chosen and make it work for you - it will not work by itself - as my RNY will not work by itself. You have to chose the healthier choices, the exercise, the ways to work around your emotional eating - the band cannot do those things for you.

Do you belong to any support groups? That would be one of my first 'recommendations' - find a good local support group that you are able to attend and discuss your fears and problems with others who may have faced the same things. Come out here often and realize that you are not alone with your struggles, and we all try to help each other as much as possible - but the bottom lie is we have to help ourselves first.

Keep going to Barix for support and fills as well - talk to the nutritionists - and try to get yourself back on track with eating and exercise - it will work, but you have to work with it.

I wish you all the best -- don't let this wonderful tool you've chosen go to waste.

Kathy

Jenny,

The first poster was right about there not being a whole lot of banders here.  I too am an RNY-er so I don't have much first hand knowledge about your specific problems.

I can tell you that Kathy is right too.  No matter which procedure you have done - it is a tool and simply that.  It will not work without you working it.  Even with the RNY procedure many have gained weight back - a good friend of mine never got down to goal and although is still down from her high weight, has gained a good 60 pounds if not closer to a hundred back.

Emotional eating is awful to fight and I believe many many of us have been there.  I know I certainly have.  Barix has post op support group meetings the 3rd wednesday of every month.  They do try to get whatever banders are there into a different room so they have their own discussions with more relevant topics to them specifically as many of the support group attendees are also banders.

As far as 30 pounds go - well go to the food store, pick up 6 bags of flour and carry them around with you.  Heh, not as easy as just saying "30 pounds" sounds, I'm sure.  It certainly beats adding 30 pounds to your weight.

Hang in there.  I hope things get easier for you and work with barix to see if there's anything else you might want to try to do to help yourself along.  Many have benefited from counseling or private nutrition sessions - it may be something to think about.

Pam

Hi Jenny-

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling sad.  I, too, am a lap bander, and I just wanted to let you know that in no way are you a disappointment to your doctor or anyone.  Would you have been able to lose the 30 lbs without your band?

I would highly recommend a support group - or even just a band buddy.  Feel free to PM me any time!

Take everything one day at a time.  Everyone falls off the wagon..just get back on and keep it going!

I am not a lap bander. I am RNY but I think the feelings of failure follow all of us. Getting support and educating yourself is the best you can do.

I invite you to join us for the 9-9-08 chat regarding the use of the CBT therapies offered in the Beck Diet Solution Book. We will be discussing it weekly. Feel free to drop in.

Hi Jenny,
I have only had my band for aobut a month so I can't speek to most of your issues.  I can say that you might want to post on the Lap Band forum.  Since there are not many people on the PA one with bands.  I ususally post there for band questions/comments/issues  and here for more general info and sometimes both.  Most people are very supprotive on both sites.  I hope this finds you in a better mood.  30 lbssince the band is good I think and I know this is not an easy transition.  I am have a rough time of it ,this week espically.   Yesterday I was told on a port " pick one thing to work on, onceyou get  that then pick another, don't try to do it all at once"  It seemed to help me.

I always try to remember I can get anywhere I want to go, as long as I take it one step at a time.

My thoughts will be with you and I hope you find you answer. 

Michele