Why do I sabotage myself?
I am really upset with myself. I started a liquid diet to break some bad food habits and lose some weight (doctor supervised). Liquids I could handle, had plenty of different recipes for protein shakes, and was really enjoying it(I know I am nuts) I felt better than I have in a long time. Seven days later I am so proud of myself I have acomplished it one full week of liquid and feeling good. Day eight I start some soft food a scrambled egg. Still feeling good Except for the part where I forgot to take any fiber and haven't well you know "pooed" in 3 or 4 days. (duh!). So in my deep "wisdom" I decide what I need is some fat to loosen things up. What kind of fat you say oh of course a pepporoni pizza. (duh, again). I only ate one piece but.......it starts. It is like being a drug addict and thinking you can do only one hit and be fine with that. For the last two days (the two since my "wise" decision) I have been binging on carbs of all kinds to the point where my stomach is so upset, I have heart burn like crazy, and I feel like I have a rock in the pit of my stomach. I know well what did ya expect genius. I think I may be starting to maybe get the picture that carbs are not good for me. (gee, I think I may have read or heard that oh about a MILLION times). So back to square one. Starting with the liquid diet all over again. Watch out headache and detox here I come. I am determined to get this right. I guess if I didn't have a problem with food I wouuldn't need WLS huh? It just sucks to realize once again that I really am that weak and stupid. Thanks for listening. 
Don't be so hard on yourself, at least you recognized the error of your ways and are recommitting to what you need to do for yourself. None of us are perfect, but practice makes us closer to perfect than just throwing up our hands and giving up all together, which I know is exactly what I used to do. So just do what you know is the next right thing and when you get the urge to carb out, come on here, there are good fats and not good ones, good carbs and not good ones, make the better choices next time ;)
Hugs, Laureen
Hugs, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
So here's my stupid story.....
Before surgery I went on a "self inflicted liquid diet" in order to drop the 10 pounds I had gained since consult.
Well, about 1 1/2 weeks before surgery hubby and I went to the grocery store and decided to have a "movie night in" and bought all sorts of junk food to have. I figured, oh, I've lost the weight, it's ok, and it will be my last time.
Well suffice to say I stuffed myself full of chips and popcorn and felt lousy - both emotionally and physically that night. Then the next mornign, I was STARVING. I mean....the cat looked good starving. I was obviously coming down off my carb high looking for a fix. It is like a drug addict.
That morning - as I was eyeing my half eaten bag of party mix - I threw it all out and went back. And you know what - the cravings stopped, the extreme hunger stopped.....I was in control again.
We have all been there. You are not stupid, and you are definately not weak. This is not just about willpower....it's about how we are "wired" on the inside and why we need help.
Back on the wagon move on and don't feel bad - because that will fix absolutely nothing. Granted, easier said than done, but truthful. Will regretting those pieces of pizza and carbs help you lose weight? Nope. In fact - it will probably help lead into emotional eating and the cycle continues.
We're here and understand
Pam
Before surgery I went on a "self inflicted liquid diet" in order to drop the 10 pounds I had gained since consult.
Well, about 1 1/2 weeks before surgery hubby and I went to the grocery store and decided to have a "movie night in" and bought all sorts of junk food to have. I figured, oh, I've lost the weight, it's ok, and it will be my last time.
Well suffice to say I stuffed myself full of chips and popcorn and felt lousy - both emotionally and physically that night. Then the next mornign, I was STARVING. I mean....the cat looked good starving. I was obviously coming down off my carb high looking for a fix. It is like a drug addict.
That morning - as I was eyeing my half eaten bag of party mix - I threw it all out and went back. And you know what - the cravings stopped, the extreme hunger stopped.....I was in control again.
We have all been there. You are not stupid, and you are definately not weak. This is not just about willpower....it's about how we are "wired" on the inside and why we need help.
Back on the wagon move on and don't feel bad - because that will fix absolutely nothing. Granted, easier said than done, but truthful. Will regretting those pieces of pizza and carbs help you lose weight? Nope. In fact - it will probably help lead into emotional eating and the cycle continues.
We're here and understand
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
thanks everyone ya'll are my hero's. I have to say I am feeling much better about things than I would have in the past. I caught myself after three days this time, recognized what I was doing, and was ready to get on track. All good things. And getting support and understanding from people who been trough this helps tremendously! I got up this morning put on the music loud and I have be bee-bopping around the house cleaning and doing laundry. Ya know all that "fun" stuff that has to be done. Thanks again. Most Active
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