What do you say? - feeling a little guilty

My opinion... they'll assume you had surgery anyway, and not being truthful about it will just give people a reason to gossip and hiss behind your back.

I told anyone who asked. The truth shall set you free! :)

This is a very personal decision and one that comes up frequently - guess everyone has to do what's right for them.

I chose to tell everyone and still do - I was way too heavy way too long for them to believe anything else anyway, and I am not embarrassed or ashamed of the fact that I had the surgery - its the best decision I've ever made for myself. The only person who is not 100% supportive of my decision is my older sister, and I believe its because we were always fat together and never believed in the surgery and both said we'd never have it. But then she moved away and moved on with her life, and I felt it was time to move on with mine.

When people ask I tell them about the surgery, and if my husband is there he always backs it up with 'the surgery was the easy part - what she's doing now is the hard part' and I tell them about my diet and exercise - not in great detail, but I want them to be educated - mostly because I wasn't and had pre-conceived notions about what WLS was and was not.

If you're comfortable with your decision not to share with others and that works for you that's what you need to do. However, if you start feeling guilty about it don't let the guilt lead you to food - let's face it, we all have our demons - don't let that be one of yours.

Kathy

I agree that it's a personal choice if you want to talk about it or not. I am speaking of my experience. But it may not help or "advise" you in any way since you already made that decision to not give any info.

But I was 100% upfront about it. I didn't tattoo it on my forehead or anything. But if I was asked about my weight loss, then I told. I was so excited and proud to be looking and feeling better that I could have gave a rats a$$ what thier opinion of it was. Including family that I told before they sugery.

I had thought about it and researched it for so long, that everyone elses opinion didn't mean crap to me.

However I can understand you using discretion at work. I worked at Penn State Hershey Med at the time of my surgery so the nurses and doctors I worked with were excited for me sinc e they worked around this stuff and knew what a benefit it would be for me.

Hi Michele,

I too have been there, every day actually.  I have been honest since day one and  when people ask I tell them the truth.  I have learned that regardless of your decision to be open about your procedure people are going to talk.  I have one woman in my office who watches everything I put in my mouth, now I'm at the point almost 10 mo. out that i will eat in front of her just to **** her off.  She is a little crazy with dieting and exercise and gets really mad to see how well I do. For some reason she doesn't quite gras that I HAD MY ANATOMY ALTERED.  Moral of the story here is do what feels right to you, people will talk anyway. Most of the time people are curious about what we have had done and aren't well informed about the strict discipline and comitment that is involved.  One bit of advice, let someone at work (someone you trust)know just incase you have a rough day.

Good luck!
gina
 

I think however you decide to handle it is the right way.  I Hope you did not think i was implying that you are lying. I am not at all. I was just saying I cant remember things so that was my best bet to be upfront. You owe them no explaination whatsoever. Please dont feel guilty you have enough on your plate without worrying about them.

I chose not to tell any friends prior to surgery because I didn't want to be "that girl" ... but I started losing the weight so quickly that we were afraid that they would think I was really sick.  I think they were more upset that we weren't up front to begin with  LOL

As for others around me ... if I am directly asked I am honest.  Otherwise, I don't tell anyone ... I just let them wonder.  I am not ashamed of my decision ... I just don't feel the need to broadcast it to the world.  But I also don't want to lie either ... so if I am asked how I lost it so fast I am honest about the surgery.

I was totally up front about my decision, and made it plain to the nay-sayers that I was not interested in their uneducated, ignorant opinions.  I am not ashamed of having the surgery, as I feel better and can do so much more. 

I am a public school teacher, and missed a ton of school due to the surgery, because it was a week before the school year started.  While I did not announce the surgery to my class when I returned, I did answer honestly about how I lost the weight, if asked a direct question. 

My thinking is this:  I could not hide my weight, why should I try to hide the solution? 

Do what you think is best.  I just know that I am an addict/alcoholic.  My life used to be mired in secrecy, and I choose not to live that way any longer.  In AA, we have a saying, "You are only as sick as your secrets."  I don't want to have any more secrets.  I hid my eating habits when I was using food to comfort me.  I no longer have to hide anything from anyone.

Hugs,
Trish

to each his own..... jennifer*

Thankyou to all *****plied and I keep seeing on common thread. "Do what you feel comfortable wiht"  I am telling them the truth and I have shared with key people at work and more in my personal life, as a matter of fact I think more people at church know than anywhere else.  My family knows (at leats those that will give me thier current information) and I am OK wit hthe rest.  I told the people where I am comfortable and have support the others I am not ready to deal with their issues sinc I have not totally dealt with my own yet.  AS faras guilt I am not feeling guilty for haveing the suregery, al little for allowing myself to get to that point for so long but I am fixing that.

THANKS again for all our responces, it helps to see all isdes when making decisions.