What do you say? - feeling a little guilty

I was ask at least three times today what I have been doing to loose weight.  I have choosen not to share my decision with the entire place I work, so I tell them most of the truth.  I am working with my doctor and nutritionist taht I started with my PCP about a year ago and it has been exercise watching my diet and alot of work.  All true and truthfully I lost about 70lbs befoer the banding but was feeling a little guilty today after the third time I was ask.  Then a teacher came up to me and told me that the kids had mentioned how I loked better and ask if I did it alone. I replied no I had lots of help.  Her reply was no they ment did you have surgery and I told them no, with a bit of an attitude I might add.  then I remembered why I don't share this information with everyone.
What do you do or have you thought about it?

Just currious

I think you are doing the right thing after all it is none of their business and you should not feel guilty at all. I too have only told select people and when people ask that don't know I tell them low carb slimfast good diet and exercise!!! Which is all true, I just don't mention my tool! Plus if they were a significant part of your life before surgery they would already know! Plus they talked while you were overweight now they are talking while you are losing weight stop enabling them to talk!take care, Jennifer*

 Hi Michele, 

I am  a now retired teacher (retired BEFORE I had WLS).  I see many of the students and am very close to many of my former colleagues...I am very open about the fact that I had the surgery.  Face it, we are ADDICTS!!!  I spent the last 10 years of my teaching career actively involved with the (unfortunately) too large population of addicted students. Funny how the FOOD ADDICTS were never part of the groups.  IMHO I think it is important that people need to know about our courage in facing our addiction,  coming to a decision to have the surgery and  deciding to fight  disease was a decision not done lightly.  Most importantly, those who struggle with addictions need to know that we (and they) need the support of family and friends,yes, even colleagues, as we continue to face our problems.

Oh I have support but I know there are those who will not understand my decision and I really don't have the strength right now to educate the world.  I also know that there are those who will never accept this.  I am glad that you are more comfortable than I to share this information but I am not there yet.  Truthfully even my boss does not know (advantages of being in a school, summers off)  Thak you for your input!  It helps to know all the sides but for now I think I will stick to my small geroup of positive supporters!

My co workers know.  My parents, in laws, brothers, and 2 select friends know.  And that's it.  NONE of my extended family know.  MOST of my friends don't know.  No aunts, no uncles, no grandparents....you get the idea.  My co workers know because we work in a hospital - many others in the department have had it done (on other shifts - I'm the first on nights to have it done)

I chose NOT to share my journey with them in the beginning due to knowing my family, the gossip, the drama, the hard headed stubborn morons I am related to by DNA.  Granted I love most of them more than words could ever say - but my family is very conservative, does not see obesity as a disease (I have brought that topic up multiple times), and probably won't see obesity as a disease until it kills them.  Funny thing is - most of them are obese - many have co morbid factors...and do little to change their ways.

Jennifer is right - I'm sure I was talked about when I gained the majority of my weight.  I have been talked about in my other attempts to lose weight.  And I'm CERTAINLY aware of being talked about now.  Heck - the comments they make in front of me - I can only imagine what is said behind closed doors.

I'm not sure if I was asked point blank "did you have surgery" my answer would be no.  When asked how I answer mostly the same as you - 6 small meals, low fat, high protein, low carb, no added sugar, exercise religiously....etc etc etc.

Funny thing though - just recently I have decided I should tell them.  I don't know why - I don't know why so suddenly.  Perhaps its the work I've done and want to be "whole" and "clean"  Perhaps I'm just nutty.  But I am writing a letter (I've revised it multiple times already) explaining my battle, my previous health complications, my path to surgery, why I chose Barix....everything.  In the letter I put something about my one year surgiversary - which will be on October 30.  I hadn't planned for dates to be in there....but as I was writing, it just kind of came out.  I saved the letter.  And I just might send it to everyone one week before my one year anniversary.  I haven't decided if I have the cohones to do so.  One thing is for sure - if I do - it will make for one heck of a holiday season!

Pam

I can't help but reply. I'm certainly not in denial of my addiction however I would rather not exploit myself when I had already been exploited whether I liked it or not just becaue of the way I looked. I have a wonderful support group of family and friends and like I said above if you don't know I had the surgery you don't need to know. The people that know and love ME now are the people that knew and loved ME before surgery as well. WLS is widely known now and you can find information anywhere you look about it not to mention by people who do not mind sharing their journey like yourself. People have too much to say and are too quick to judge for me to run around telling anyone that asks my business. Jennifer*

Pam you are always awesome not matter what the subject :) LOL You look wonderful by the way, your new avatar is great! Good luck with sending the letter!!! And it's funny that you say all of the sudden you want to tell. I often think about telling once I am at goal, but I'm not so sure that I will do that either. Jennifer*

Even though I am only one week out today, I struggled so much beforehand on who to tell....I actually went to a therapist to talk it out.  I felt like I was keeping this big secret and feeling very guilty.  I have told my closest of friends, my OH friends, my dear husband....oh yes and my therapist.  Unfortunately the support will not be there from my dysfunctional family (but that is a whole other story ha) and frankly I am scared to not be able to handle the remarks and that I may eat over it.  For me I know I have made the right decision and I feel like the answer will not be the same for everyone.  I'm so glad you shared because I wasn't prepared to have someone with such nerve as to ask directly if you had surgery.  Wow, now I will handle it better and know what to say.  Try not to feel guility over it because it is not anybodys business except for yours.

This is a very personal choice. I have always told everyone and been open. when people new ask me i tell them i had wls. BUt that was my choice from the beginning. If you feel that this is something that you dont want to share, plan your answer ahead of time and stick to it. It is the whole " thats my story and i am sticking to it " thing. I knew that I am not consistent enough to tell the same thing over again and eventually would get tripped up so i decided the easiest thing to do was be honest upfront. But again I said that is me. Your choice is your choice and is the right one for you.

I don't have to remember what I'm telling people as if I'm telling a lie, I'm telling the truth just leaving out the help of my tool. People regain weight even when they have had WLS by not eating well & excercising falling back into old habits. I do agree it is up to the individual, but I certainly don't think those that are not including the use of their tool in their explanation of weight loss are wrong for it or should feel guilty about not mentioning it. Jennifer*