All the downer people in my general life

I'm so irked.

I am doing my final weigh with my PCP on Monday and hopefully by Friday, my records will be copies and faxed to Barix for submission to Blue Cross.  I am so excited, I am so happy.  I am crossing my fingers the insurance process will go smoothly and that December will come and I will have my surgery.

 

My problem?

Everyone around me (except my WLS friends) do nothing but tell me about all these "friends" and "people" they know that have died, had major complications, etc. from having WLS.  I know the risks.  I know what could maybe possibly some day happen.  I know all of it...I have been reading and researching this for over 2 years.  I've seen 2 different doctors about the surgery.  Why does everyone do this? 

I've heard everything from "this person i know died" to "well, this person i know had this happen and this happen and she almost died" to "what will you do if you get cancer some day down the road and you need to be able to eat and take in a lot of nutrition during chemo?  my friend almost died from her chemo because she had the surery 10 years ago".

I am just frustrated.  I know full well that many people will want to rain in my parade, I know that some people are genuinely concerned, and I know that there is a stigma attached to the surgery.  It just annoys me.

 

Thanks for letting me gripe.

No problem - we're hear to listen.  I'm sorry to hear that those people in your support network are kinda scaring you with these stories.

This is what I told my family and close friends (I only told them I was having the surgery about 2 weeks out and still have not told a few friends):

"<insert friend/family name here>, you know that I love you and respect what you have to say and think.  With respect to this Weight Loss Surgery this is a personal decision and I made this decision on my own after weighing all the pros and cons and speaking with medical professionals.  I didn't mention this to you because, frankly,  I really do not want to hear your non-medical, perhaps unfounded,  opinions - good or bad.  I love you and always will.  But I really do not want to discuss this at great length and I'm glad to know you'll always support me no matter what".

Feel free to modify for your personal situation with respect to people that you've already told that are "warning" you.

That being said - there are risks with the surgery that you need to be aware of (and I'm sure you are), granted they are slim.  Winning the Powerball is also slim ...and lotsa people do that every week.

Good luck!  "Gripe" anytime!!!  I'm still working on what to tell people after I've lost 80-100 pounds and I get general acquaintances and random neighbors saying things like "Wow, Greg, you've lost a lot of weight.  How did you do it?".


-GD

I love your letter, Greg - wi**** had been posted last year when I told my older sister about my decision, because she's really been the one big negative with me about this yet she was always my closest friend and sibling. She will ask how I'm feeling when we talk now (she lives in FLA) and I am always honest - I don't get into pounds lost - I'm sure our mother (who lives with me) tells her.

And if people ask you how you're losing it I feel honesty is the best policy - just yesterday I was at a dinner and some people knew about the surgery - others didn't. One who knew asked how i was doing and how much I've lost and I told him, then someone asked me how I did it and I told them - I had WLS and I work ou****ch what I eat and am happier and healthier than ever - its a wonderful tool and one the best decisions I've ever made for myself. After you say something like that about the only thing they can respond with is well wishes!

Kathy

I seriously had a woman at work say to me on Friday (my last day at work before surgery) "You might die" and "You may never come back to work"

I mean that's like saying to someone walking on a plane "I hope you don't crash"

I swear people are so stupid sometimes.

Melanie,

The only thing to say to that is "And you might get hit by my car in the parking lot and die and not come back to work ever either"

Jimminy Christmas, the lunacy of people.

Good luck in the morning!

Pam

people just like to be downers... omg the stories I could tell you when I was pregnant... things no first time mom ever wants to hear and they told me it all! Needless to say after my daughter was born I found them all and punched them in the arm and yelled at them for scaring me like that... didn't care if it was in church or not lol... there are just some things that need to be left unsaid! So, after your surgery... slug them all... made me feel GREAT hehehe... and yes I know that it is slightly evil... but you know it was better than me giving them xlax brownies lol...

Ignore them because stupid people suck!

I think many of us have had this happen to us - and it's a shame.  These people are generally uneducated about the process and the newer versions of the surgery and what not.

If it helps (which with these people it won't) a friend of mine her grandmother had the surgery quite some time ago and then about 5 years ago had cancer.  And she did just fine.  Most people on chemo can't take in the nutritional needs they need - hence why supplements are used even for nonsurgical patients.

Come here and vent any time and remember to ignore those people.  You can try to educate them if you so choose - although many may not listen.  You can also list all of the comorbid factors that come with obesity and how you can die an early death if you don't get it done.  Or you could tell them all to F*&K off.

Pam

Thanks to all of you so much!  It is great to know I have a place to come and get my frustration out.  I think, at the end of the day, as long as my boyfriend and my best friends support me, the rest of them can all take a flying leap. 

Wish me luck.  Tomorrow is my final weigh and then my doc is faxing my records!

 

 

YAY!

I am so excited for you Kari, today was your last weight in.  You are going to on the schedule for surgery in no time.  You have done everything your insurance company requires!!!

I had a few friends try to talk me out of surgery, and my best friend, who is a Intensive Care Nurse was so afraid for me.  I mean, she was really scared.  She didn't try to talk me out of it, but she did tell me about patients she took care of, and how some of them gained the weight back and others couldn't gain weight no matter what they did.  I appreciate Amanda's imput and I was glad she felt like she could talk to me in a honest manner.  But she was also impressed that I did my homework and knew the risks and my doctors background.

I have almost the opposite problem.  When I see an extremely heavy person, I want to tell them about my wonderful experience with WLS.  I want to preach to them...  I wish I had surgery years ago.  LOL  But I know it is a journey that everyone has to make on thier own, and some people will never go under the knife.