How I'm Doing. . .
One part of me says ok, you are healthier and more physically capable then at any time in the last 20 years and the other part of me fears not making it to my personal goal and therefore failing, because in the past I never made it to goal either and then I gained all my weight and always more. It is possible, I see others 18 months out and further gaining weight back, that absolutely terrifies me. I want a cushion of weight loss, I want my personal goal to be achieved, it is not something so low that I will look emaciated, I want to be a normal weight for the rest of my days and I am truly scared it will not happen for me.
I have been hungry more often lately and while I mostly make healthy choices, there are some times when I give in to a temptation, on a small level, and I generally only allow myself a little leeway on days I know I am going to be working out, but it seems I cannot get away with anything even on that small level, as the scale has not moved below 177 for well over a month now and my measurements have not changed either. My friends have said they are nervous about my obsessive fear of gaining weight turning into something bigger, I guess I am starting to feel that way too, I think it's time to find a therapist to help me get through these feelings.
Anyway, I have missed you guys, been keeping abreast somewhat by lurking, just haven't felt like I had anything to bring to the party, but I also know that keeping silent is not necessarily a good thing, so now you all know what's been going on with me. . .
Prayers, hugs and positive thoughts to all, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Hang in there and don't beat yourself up. Easier said than done - I understand that whole heartedly. If Nan can still be losing weight 2 years later - you will certainly break this stall and end up where you want to be. I'm glad you recognize that you are healtheir than you've been, that you recognize you may need some way to work through these feelings, and that you are open and honest about them here.
i will miss you tonight as I won't be at the meeting - but hopefully we'll get to catch up in September!
Pam
I can always count on you for encouragement, thanks and I'm hanging in and yes, people like Nan definitely keep me hopeful, however, there are the moments where the negativity creeps up and feels like a blanket I can't shake off. . . again, thanks, you'll be missed this evening, but see you next month.
Hugs, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Hugs, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Jackie J. 
1 choice @ a time > 1 day @ a time. Slow to Succeed is still Success ;-)
Hi Jackie,
Thanks for the "cheerleading". . . may I ask what a personal coach is and where I would go about finding one? I'm certainly willing to give everything a try, my new personal trainer is putting my muscles to good use, as he was my previous trainer's trainer and she is one well tuned woman, so I'm doing the weights thing, though right now I'm having some left sided pain, shoulder, hip and knee, which is dampening my workout ability, but I won't quit, I hear the voices of Norm and Andy and I'm not a quitter is my mantra.
Anyway, thanks again for taking the time to encourage me and I hope to see you somewhere soon. . .
Hugs, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Jackie J.
1 choice @ a time > 1 day @ a time. Slow to Succeed is still Success ;-)
Keep up the great work!
HG
Thanks for your encouragement and that's just it, sometimes the old feelings of giving up surface, I feel like after all this work, it still does not matter, so why keep on going. . . hell, nothing I ever really wanted in life has come easy, which taught me to be a fighter, guess I need to harness some of that determination that I've used so many other times in my life. . . Thanks again Heather!
Hugs, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
