Ice cream "Meltdown" <--- I'm so clever.

I’m now 16 months out from surgery…. And in those 16 months I can honestly say, without even thinking twice, that I have had sugar on two occasions. Neither one of them being intentional. One was my fault, and one wasn’t. Anyhow.. So I haven’t had sugar in over a year… I haven’t eaten a regular potato chip in over a year.. I haven’t snacked on cookies, or binged on chocolate… I haven’t stuffed myself silly on any kind of food… I haven’t touched a french fry, or a cheese steak, or candy… I have not eaten ANYTHING bad in over a year. I know my triggers… I know what I can allow myself to have, and not to have… I’ve sat around and watched others snacking on chocolate, or eating mcdonalds, drinking milkshakes, ect…. Sat by and watched. And I’ve stuck by that for over a year. I treated myself down the shore to two pieces of sugar free chocolate that made me feel absolutely awful. The sugar alcohol was enough to make me feel horrible. I’ve worked hard, I’ve exercised.. I’ve pushed myself harder and harder… Most of you know I’m really tough on myself. I’ve had a few episodes where the scale was ruling my life.. I’ve been obsessive about losing weight, and my food, and my caloric intake, my protein intake, making sure all my vitamin levels are correct… It has NOT been an easy ride, and I never expected it to be. A lot of the issues lie within myself, and myself only. I don’t want, or feel the need to see a psychologist about anything, because truthfully, I’ve been able to work through my issues mostly by myself, and with Norm’s, and all of your help.

Anyway, back to being tough on myself… this is how horrible I am. Sunday is our grocery shopping day usually… and I decided a few days ahead of time that I DESERVED to treat myself to a ½ c of sugar free ice cream. It was going to be a reward to myself… I was going to allow myself to indulge for once. Norm went into another aisle while I was browsing the sugar free ice creams. I picked up a few gallons, read the nutritional info, and quickly put them down.. I proceeded to do this about, and I kid you not… about 6 times with maybe 7-8 different cartons. Then, I was feeling panicky… almost like I was about to have some kind of a panic attack… I felt my eyes well up… Norm came back and I stormed out of the aisle… I felt like, and this is crazy, not only that I wouldn’t be able to control myself if I bought the ice cream, but I felt like I didn’t deserve it. I felt that if I bought that ice cream, everything that I had worked for, and everyone who looked up to me, would be let down. I know this is an insane way to think… but it’s what I felt. I was so upset/angry/frustrated/confused, that when we got home, I cried. I cried about ice cream… not that I had eaten a ton of it, and regretted it, but I cried because I wasn’t sure if I necessarily deserved to eat it. I know Norm told me he’s experienced this before… but has anyone else? Because I can not believe the way I allowed myself to feel in a grocery store… about ICE CREAM!

Norm said we’re going to go to Wegman’s so we can look at their s/f ice cream… Apparently they have different brands and whatever that other stores don’t carry… I’m hoping I can pick up a gallon of ice cream without giving myself a panic attack. Lol…

Where are you Papa Belk??   I'm in need of  your encouraging and loving words

 

Well you're certainly not crazy - if you are we're all crazy together. You've just worked so hard and so long to finally beat all those food demons and yet they still exist - and probably always will. I haven't been as faithful as you - I have had sf ice cream - small amounts, but I can eat it. I haven't had sugar or caffiene or fatty foods - but I haven't been a saint, either.

Maybe you can find a small container of sf ice cream - that way the temptation of having a whole gallon around won't overwhelm you. But if you truly know that ice cream of any kind is your biggest demon than maybe it is best to keep the demons out of your house and not let them torment you.

It is a difficult journey - anyone who says otherwise is only kidding themselves - we're surrounded by temptation on a daily basis - thru TV, magazines, newspapers, co-workers, family, or simply by walking down the ice cream aisle at the grocery store. Just always remember how far you've come and how wonderfully you've done - and that you're human and you are going to have cravings and be tempted from time to time. Knowing how to deal with that is key for all of us.

ps: Thank you for your honesty, too - tears and all...its good to know we're all human.

Kathy

I am so sorry that you had such a bad experience with this. It is hard and I can certainly understand, I think that these struggles are a life long thing for any of us, I am just hoping that for myself that I will eventually find a happy way to balance all of it. I think that you do deserve to "treat" yourself every once in a while, and that it doesn't do any harm, as long as it isn't a constant thing. However I understand not wanting to trigger all the bad habits that you have worked so hard to overcome. A friend of mine only buys a single serving at a time, that way it isn't in her house to tempt her. I hope that you will find what works for you to provide some middle ground. I am glad that you had support when you needed it too. You aren't alone.

I don't know if this is any help, and the calorie count isn't exactly low, but from time to time, we pick up Sugar Free and Fat Free Turkey Hill Ice Cream.

It has 80 empty calories in 1/2 c of Cherry Fudge Ripple.

And I think it's fine as an occassional treat. I normally scoop it out w/ my measuring cup.

Thanks for posting this, now I know I am not alone.  I for one can not buy it.  It became a trigger of non stop carbs.  Everyone needs to know their triggers.  If you want to cry over Ice Cream, go ahead, your not alone.

Mary ..I can understand I bought the Skinny Cow no sugar added ice cream sandwiches I seen posted onhere they have sat in my freezer for over a week unopened.

WHat about the protien ice cream many have been posting about from eggface as a treat? Just  a thought.

I'm gonna play the Norm of old here and say that if the thought of "treating" yourself almost gave you a panic attack in the aisle that is no way to "treat" yourself.   Certainly you DESERVE a treat; you have done a fabulous job and we all admire that and you say you know your triggers but I'm thinking you might want to add this one to your list for now.  WHEN you can approach this treat calmly then try it.  If this is what it does to you, you aren't ready yet.   I might add a little caution here, I caught alot of crap in my early days because I did SF ice creams BUT I did them in the correct portions (so I thought and so I said and boy did I get looks).  I learned some things.  People were right that it would open doors I shouldn't open.  It didn't make me sick.  I learned to graize on them "in the correct portions" for about a month.  I didn't lose weight; calories add up when you graize in the right portions.  That was 2006; I've had a spoonful here and there since but I'm much more objective about it and that's kindof taken the fun out of it so why bother??   Have Norm spoon feed you the appropriate amount or just dress him up in an ice cream cone costume and lick him all over...now THERE's a treat you can both enjoy!  

LOL - the last sentence made me laugh so hard I had to hold my 3 week old open Roux-en-Y stiches!

I haven't had this issue yet over food because my treat to myself is sugar free ice cream sandwiches that are the store band... it helps me to reach this insane calorie level that I have to reach...

But, in other areas I have had this issue... esp with clothes... I feel like I should be getting things for Lorelei instead of me because on me it is a waste of money... and Lorelei will get more use out of her clothes than me...

I think part of this is being a woman... we tend to put others first... but there are times were we need to our needs first... maybe there is another need that you need to put first... because we all know you deserve a treat... but maybe you need to treat yourself with a mani/pedi...

Sorry Mary - I have no advice to give in this area.  I would like to know what "our" definition of "triggers" is.  I have my own mental definition however it's not related to weight loss or psycological situations, per say. 

Please, anyone, educate me on this particular use of the word.

Thanks,
-GD