Why do people say things??

Im so beyond mad!!

Im doing trial runs of my liquid diet. I have been losing weight. 27lbs since I started the journey in feb. But now people keep telling me and are pretty rude about the fact that ive lost weight why am i having the surgery. I keep hearing but why do this? You lost alittle bit of weight, why not be happy with that?? Because im not happy at 301 lbs!! Who would be??  I feel like i have some great people who are super supportive and other who id like to scream at!! What do you say to people. My surgery is aug im so close!!!!

I think you should tell them that you are taking control of your health and that this surgery is a tool to do that.  It is not a quick fix it is a lifetime committment.  And if they can not support you then you need to walk away.  I spent months and months researching this surgery and looking at from all angles before I took the plunge and the people I told before the surgery were well aware of how much homework I did.  When people know that you know the facts they aremore likely to support you--sometimes the unsupportive comments come from a place of fear rather than hate.   So tell them all that you know and then ask for their support--if they support you awesome! if they can't well toxic forces are not healthy and you need to stay away from them.

This surgery is about giving you a new lease on life and using the tool to the best of your ability to get healthy.  I wish you all the best!!

Much luv!!

Laura

Sometimes people are just afraid, they don't want you to be sick. They don't realize the work you have put into understanding how your life is going to change, the eating and lifestyle changes.
As far as what to say ther are some classics;
"So, let's see I should stay heavy so you feel better"
"Hmm why didn't I think of that"
or
"Yup that's worked in the past, NOT"
and of course just
 stare and walk away !

I am answering this without reading the other responses, so please forgive me if I just repeat anything they have said.

I simply tell people "I did what was best for ME, I am not saying it is a good choice for YOU"

That tends to shut them right up. They cant tell wether I have just answered them or insulted them. LOL

So here is the wording for the pre op...  " I am doing what is best for ME, I am happy you know what works best for YOU."

If that does not work, just try being brutally honest. Tell them that you dont need their input and would appreciate you keeping your opinion to yourself.

May God bless your journey!!

Jen

Jen  - I had to hijack your response and tell you how absolutely marvelous you look and how wonderfully you're doing - down 108 pounds?? YOU GO, GIRL!! Why haven't you posted on this? I had no idea you were doing so wonderfully!! I'm sorry I haven't gotten to Debi's support group meetings - weekdays are just so tough sometimes. But I couldn't let this pass without commenting on your beautiful new avitar and how wonderful you're doing!!

Kathy

My older sister was my biggest 'non-supporter' and all thru this I've heard things like 'Oh my god, you're tracking your food - we did that for years in Weigh****chers' - or 'so now you're taking all these vitamins - what's the difference' - well, the difference is I'd rather take vitamins than asthma medicine, cholesterol medicine, and everything else I was on.

But everyone's right - just tell them that are doing this for you - and this is in preparation of your surgery. Don't let the nay-sayers get you down, because its just not worth it. You made the decision to have the surgery without their opinions and you certainly don't need them now.

Best of luck to you - keep on keeping on!!

Kathy

Some of my family members did the same thing...."well, if you can lose it on your own, then are you sure you need the surgery?"

yeah- "i'll just keep drink f-ing liquids until I'm under 200lbs!"  (that was my reply).

people are always going to have something to say. I dont remember who told me, but someone gave me advice and said to stay around those who are positive about your suregery. try to avoid the negative people. we should all do that in  general in life. but it was great advice and i always remembered that. and if you are speaking to someone negative, simply change the subject and maybe put the attention on them...like, "so what's goin on in your life? any big plans for the weekend?"  (my therapist gave me that suggestion).

hang in there and be prepared for an exciting ride!

I only had two nay-sayers in my world prior to my surgery.  When they hit me with their negativity, I shot back that I was not open to their lack of support, and that I would be having the surgery with or without their support, so they could either keep quiet and pray for me, or not hear from me again.  They were cool after that. 

As for your situation, just smile and say, "I am so glad you noticed my weight loss.  I intend to lose a lot more, thanks to the surgery, my new lifestyle, and my friends who are supportive.  I really would appreciate more prayers and less negativity, thank you."

If they keep being rude, just tell them you would like them to stop and keep their opinions to themselves.  Remember:  Opinions are like a**holes.  Everyone has one and most of them usually stink.  (Sorry to be so crude.)

Then, keep posting here for the positive vibes and love.

Hugs,
Trish

Thanks Im so glad I have support here. We are so far from any place that does WLS at all. I have to travel an hour to my hospital. Then I hear horror stories and I panic. I think everyone is different. Some people wont understand. Im so glad everyone here is so supportive of one another. ITs a great thing to see.