We are worth the work! Let's not beat ourselves up!

Wow, I was away from the board for yet another week plus and and I feel like I have missed so much in that time.  I am struck by the pain and disappointment shared by really wonderful, strong, and brave individuals and wanted to comment to that for all of us who feel like a failure.  We are not failure but we may fail at our attempts of doing or being a certain thing and or.  We are never failures!  Actions and attempts may fail but persons are not failures!  The choices we make made lead us to places we never intended to go but how we respond is an opportunity to change our situation and remedy a failed attempt.

Failure is only failure when you do nothing about and when you accept it, letting it define you and your life.  Again failure is a result of actions and choices, it is not and should not be a description of a person.

Kudos and bravos and bravas to all of you sharing your struggles and slips with WLS as well as unhealthy addictions and other behaviors and situations.  First I want to say don't beat yourself up! Accept that you are human and not perfect.  We have no ultimate control but we can strive for the strength to control some of the areas of our life that are within our choices.  Okay, pick yourself up which you have already done by sharing the slips and falls, and let's help one another get through today. You can do it!  You can make healthy choices today.  Let's just think about the choices we have to make right now.  Let's ask ourselves why we might want the unhealthy choice . . . if depressed, ask what do we think will change.  Will it make things better?  Will it make us feel worse afterwards?  Will it really and seriously change anything for the good in our lives?  Okay you get it, we need to wrap our head and heart around the reasons we don't want to make choices that are unhealthy and we need to remind ourselves over and over that we are really worth the work and effort it takes to be healthy. We can do it!  I can do it!  You can do it.  We really deep down want to do it.  We are stronger than our cravings!  NIKE ~ Just do it!  We can do it, we want to do it.

Let us be gentle, be healthy, be happy, and be peaceful,

Jan

Thanks Jan.  Your wisdom is always appreciated, and missed when you are not here. 

Hugs,
Trish

Jan-

You so eloquently put into words what I have been feeling.  This group of wonderfu women and men here who are so supportive of one another-- yet we are so powerfully hard on ourselves. Thank you Jan for reminding us all that we are strong, successful individuals. 

I think we need to remember that no matter how many times we stumble and fall we are strong enough to pick ourselves up and move on. There is no failure if you can learn from the experience.  The only failure is when we do not learn from the experience or do not pick up the pieces and go forward.

Everyone must take the road to their destiny and along the way the path is bumpy, rocky, uphill, and hard to navigate but if you keep going eventually the path opens up and reveals all its beauty.  As Winston Churchill said "When you are going through hell--keep going." 

We need to keep going to find the meaning in our life.

Much luv!

Laura

Wow, so well said, thanks for that, I think it is something we all need to remember, as someone once said, and it escapes me now, "we are spiritual beings, having a human experience". 

Some of the definitions of experience are:  trial, proof, experiment, to try, test, attempt, venture, the act of living through an event; an activity that includes training, observation practice and personal participation. . . 

How many attempts were made before man learned to harness the wind and now we can fly anywhere.  They did not succeed by allowing each failure to deter them, but instead learned from the experience of what failed. . .  so to parlay on your (Jan's) last sentence. . .  We are doing it, but in this process, we are relearning all that we did for an entire lifetime, which does not get changed in a year, 2 years or even more, so it's all about, as Shauna coined the term "successing" not a destination folks, but an ongoing series of events, a process of continued success, not perhaps Shauna's words to the letter, but I think you get what I'm saying. . .  again, we have a tool, but the thinking, that is what needs changing. . .

Hugs, Laureen

we are spiritual beings, having a human experience". 

I'd never hear that before, but I really LOVE it!  Thanks for sharing that.

Thank you Jan for summing it all up and putting it into perspective!

Pam

Jan:
You took the words right out of my mouth......okay, not really, but I wish I could have said it so well.  We all wait for you to step in and said the perfect words at the perfect moment.  That is one of the many great qualities you have.  Thanks!!!!!
Linda

Thanks. What is so awesome about this board is that the downs are as valuable as the ups. We must show our whole selves so that we can heal and learn new ways of living. We lived in isolation and secret before, and it is not helpful. Using the board to share feelings of failure is essential. We are not perfect by any stretch this surgery only changed our digestive track, not our minds, our environments, our families, our jobs. Those things continue to revolve around us, and part of this journey is learning how to deal with all of these things. Struggle and trials are what connects us as part of being human. EVERYONE has them, thin, fat tall short. We are all connected.
I appreciate everyone's willingness to share their experiences good and bad. I am thankful I can come here for support and a kick in the pants.

 Jan
Love this post.  I constantly talk to myself to remind myself that if I fail it is because of my actions and choices, not because i am not worthy of success.   

Yes, we can do it, we can do it, we can do it.

Hugs 
arlene