Acceptance...
Mary,
I agree with everyone else - this was EXACTLY the ideas we hit on during the post op meeting this past Wednesday.
So many things you said hit a nerve.
You HAVE worked your A$$ off, literally, and have done a simply amazing job. And it sucks that we can't see it as other people do. We see our faults. When somebody compliments us, many a time our "thank you" is followed by "and I have this hanging skin on my arms, and my stomach is flopping around" - we point out our faults not only to others, but continually cement them into our own heads.
"The moment I become "perfect" in my own eyes, means there’s nothing left to improve" Hmmm....now that quote from you tends to remind me of Shauna's definition of "successing" and why we don't EVER want to have "succeeded" We want to continually improve ourselves.
At the same time, we have to start recognizing our own accomplishments for how others see them. It's the hardest job of all time. People say often that the surgery was the easy part - I believe your wonderful fiancee is one who said that - all he had to do was lay on the table like a piece of meat. That was easy. It was the work afterwards that is challenging. And the "mental" aspect of this is the most challenging of all - the psyche is a horrible thing to have to overcome.
I have no doubts you won't work through this. I have started doing what Susan suggested at the meeting - looking at myself and telling myself "I look good" I don't believe it most of the time - but I make myself say it (outloud so my cats think I'm crazy****il I DO at least start to believe it somewhere in the depths of myself.
Mary, you DO look FABULOUS. I have no doubt you will be the most beautiful bride come June and will certainly have tears in everyone's eyes. Your happiness with Norm shines through, as does his love for you, and that is beautiful in and of itself. You are no longer the girl who can't climb the stairs, rather, you are the girl who can run up them and not miss a beat. You are a wonderful, strong, resiliant person who continues to be honest with others and continue to inspire them.
I admit - you are one of the stories with whom I have "idolized" as you put it, and need to recognize my own accomplishments as well - so I know where you are coming from. But no matter how long that takes me - you will continue to inspire me Because everyone needs a little inspiration to help them get to where they are going.
Thanks Mary, we love you!
Pam
I agree with everyone else - this was EXACTLY the ideas we hit on during the post op meeting this past Wednesday.
So many things you said hit a nerve.
You HAVE worked your A$$ off, literally, and have done a simply amazing job. And it sucks that we can't see it as other people do. We see our faults. When somebody compliments us, many a time our "thank you" is followed by "and I have this hanging skin on my arms, and my stomach is flopping around" - we point out our faults not only to others, but continually cement them into our own heads.
"The moment I become "perfect" in my own eyes, means there’s nothing left to improve" Hmmm....now that quote from you tends to remind me of Shauna's definition of "successing" and why we don't EVER want to have "succeeded" We want to continually improve ourselves.
At the same time, we have to start recognizing our own accomplishments for how others see them. It's the hardest job of all time. People say often that the surgery was the easy part - I believe your wonderful fiancee is one who said that - all he had to do was lay on the table like a piece of meat. That was easy. It was the work afterwards that is challenging. And the "mental" aspect of this is the most challenging of all - the psyche is a horrible thing to have to overcome.
I have no doubts you won't work through this. I have started doing what Susan suggested at the meeting - looking at myself and telling myself "I look good" I don't believe it most of the time - but I make myself say it (outloud so my cats think I'm crazy****il I DO at least start to believe it somewhere in the depths of myself.
Mary, you DO look FABULOUS. I have no doubt you will be the most beautiful bride come June and will certainly have tears in everyone's eyes. Your happiness with Norm shines through, as does his love for you, and that is beautiful in and of itself. You are no longer the girl who can't climb the stairs, rather, you are the girl who can run up them and not miss a beat. You are a wonderful, strong, resiliant person who continues to be honest with others and continue to inspire them.
I admit - you are one of the stories with whom I have "idolized" as you put it, and need to recognize my own accomplishments as well - so I know where you are coming from. But no matter how long that takes me - you will continue to inspire me Because everyone needs a little inspiration to help them get to where they are going.
Thanks Mary, we love you!
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
Well Mary you did it again - brought tears to my eyes. I so admire your truthfulness and expression of your deepest feelings. Today was extremely difficult. I attended the funeral of Nanette's daughter and seeing the pain in Nanette and her mother's face as well as the pain in all the young friends is heart wrenching. What desperation - to take your life and leave so many behind wondering why. Your words are particularly meaningful as I sit here and think about life and how it can change in an instant. "Our uniqueness is our strength" is a powerful message that we all need to embrace.
Thank you so much for putting this out there.
Arlene
Thank you so much for putting this out there.
Arlene
Mary, you are so awesome! You always have a way of tickling my heart with your words and insights as well as the sharing of words of some other great 'thinkers and those who ponder' that you have read and quote
Thanks for sharing. You are such a beautiful soul!.
Jan
Thanks for sharing. You are such a beautiful soul!.
Jan
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You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
--Mahatma Ghandi
Celebrate Life, L'Chaim, Peace, Shalom
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